Disabled parking - ever dealt with abusive passers-by?

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Lately I am finding blog posts/comments/articles online from people who get angry with and sometimes verbally attack people who use disabled parking spaces. If they don't have a permit, fair enough, they're not eligible to park there, and they deserve to be outed. But if the person has a permit, then why do people give them dirty looks or actually go so far as to yell at them or interrogate them about their disability? It's appalling and outright disrespectful to expect someone to share information about their health and their body with a stranger. Just because someone doesn't look disabled on the outside doesn't mean they're not disabled, and I think that's something we're all well aware of here on WP. The whole point of these provisions for disabled people is, after all, to help the disabled to have a life of equal quality to those who are not, so why act surprised when a person appears to be quite comfortable getting to and from the building? Does it not occur to people that the very reason for the provision of disabled parking spaces and other facilities is to allow disabled people to be comfortable and enabled?

I know that disabled parking spaces would be useful for many autistic people. I myself would love to have one as I get instant nausea from the smallest whiff of exhaust fumes, and in a car park there's also noise and the complicated task of crossing traffic, possibly multiple times, and I also have great trouble remembering where the car is and I get lost easily. I imagine there are many autistic people who find the disabled parking spaces a great help, especially when trying to get away, for example, from a shopping centre as quickly as possible after dragging oneself through the day's shopping. Those places are tough even for non-autistic people, so it's important to be able to get out of there as quickly as possible.

But as autism is invisible, I'm sure that many autistic people are among those who get abuse from ignorant people who see them parking in those spaces. Does anyone here use a disabled parking permit, and have you ever had to deal with people questioning you?

Strangely enough, my preference is to park far away from the disabled spots.

There is a lot of traffic around those disabled spots--both from pedestrians and cars. I'd rather spend a little extra time walking than to deal with traffic--just too many distractions.

It is much easier to find my car when there is nobody parked next to it. You might also think of decorating your car to make it easier to find--maybe something on the antenna?

I like to pick my shopping times carefully--very early morning seems to be the best where I live.

It might have to do with the fact that spouses and family members with access to the car are perfectly capable of taking advantage of the permit in order to park in the space. Sometimes they have a legitimate reason, but sometimes they're just lazy.

Ya that is definitely a possibility... It's just so unfortunate that people will jump to that conclusion instead of assuming that the person with a permit is eligible. I guess awareness of invisible disabilities still needs a lot of work. There are many conditions that people can't see, including heart/lung conditions or even nerve disorders that can affect the amount of movement a person can do.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that the symbol happens to be an image of a person in a wheelchair?

Give such people a brief look as if you're looking at a bit of vomit on the pavement, say nothing and walk on.

I also park at disabled spots and don't look disabled (I think), but never had anyone talk to me about it. It might help to experiment with your appearance to the end of discouraging strangers from talking to you. This has helped me to a degree, though unfortunately there is no perfect method.

This, and also the fact that so many permits are stolen, and the people displaying them in their cars may not be genuinely disabled.

I don't know where the OP is from, but here in the UK there is a big problem with people breaking into cars and stealing disabled parking badges. Having one in your car means you get to park for free in some places where other people would be charged.

And the fact that people can't tell people who are genuinely disabled v those who are fakers, plus the deluge of stories of fakers in the tabloid press, plus the propensity of a minority of people who would rather all disabled people were gassed to death, plus the fact that there are people on the left in Britain who want to see us as pets so they can make money from us rather than individuals in our own right...

...it's a tricky one all round.

Tequila sums it all up wonderfully as usual, with his trademark scathing bluntness.

Here's the problem: There is WIDESPREAD abuse of those permits, and I'd estimate that 50% of them in California are unfairly issued, and of that 50%, 30% are stolen/borrowed by perfectly able people.

I may be a high-functioning autistic, but I will come down hard on anyone I truly believe is doing that! I don't ask any questions; I just make a snide comment such as "If everyone had YOUR disability, being disabled wouldn't be so bad at all!"

I do know that there are hidden disabilities, such as weak heart, or musculoskeletal disorders which cause a person to fatigue and be unable to walk much of a distance, so I won't just blatantly assume that anyone who is able to stand and walk might not be in true need... I realize that many many people are able to stand and walk; just not far. But the GLARING disabled parking space abusers in my view, are the 20-something millionaire Mideasterners in new Mercedes V12 sedans, who LEAP out of the car, RUN into the business, and PRANCE back out again carrying heavy items with one hand while on a phone with the other hand, etc. Those are the ones I hassle if I deem suitable. Not long ago, there was a hideous and egregious case at UCLA, in which many of the Bruins football players had fake or bought handicapped plackards, which they abused to park free and in disabled spaces at the UCLA parking garages. These were not players on the injury list... They were actively playing FOOTBALL. Fortunately, there was an investigation, and some people went to jail and got huge fines. I'd have impounded and auctioned their cars, and donated the money to a disabled charity.

My mother spent her last years in a wheelchair, and I had to contain anger when I'd see space abusers hogging the spots, and I'd have to stop our car in the middle of the road to get my mother out in her wheelchair, push her to a safe place, then go park the car with her sitting (sitting duck) until I got back. That's disgraceful. And worse yet, how about unaccompanied wheelchair-bound people, who cannot unload themselves out in the driveway, and magically make the car go park? Those people would just have to go home without doing whatever they came to try to do or buy.

Charles

Just what does this "hassling" consist of, exactly?

Going by a pic you posted somewhere on here recently, you look like the type of guy who could easily win an argument if it got physical!

OP I don't know if you are in the UK or not, but this might be the kind of article you are talking about. It refers to disabled people generally, but also specifically when parking in a disabled space.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/ ... scope-cuts


From the Guardian (Extract)

Disabled people face abuse and threats of violence after fraud crackdown

Government tests to move thousands off Disability Living Allowance have led to verbal and even physical assaults against those on benefits, a survey has found


Disabled people have faced greater hostility from the general public since the government launched its controversial benefits reforms, according to a survey by a leading charity.

A majority said that they experienced hostility, discrimination or even physical attacks from strangers on a weekly basis and more than a third claimed the situation had become worse in the previous 12 months.

Victims blame ministers for portraying all people with disabilities as scroungers as they seek to cut the number of people on disability benefits, including the 2.9 million people in receipt of disability living allowance (DLA) and the 1.9 million people deemed physically unable to work currently given incapacity benefit.

The government has presented changes, including the introduction of medical and psychological tests for those claiming DLA, as a way of getting tough on people cheating the system. But disabled charity Scope, which commissioned the survey, said there was powerful evidence that the "backdrop of negativity" behind the cuts was leading to a rise in hostility and even violence towards some of the most vulnerable in society.

In the survey 37% of people with disabilities claimed they were increasingly being abused on the streets, erroneously reported to the benefits fraud hotline and accosted when trying to use disabled parking spaces. Nearly two thirds thought others did not believe that they were disabled and half of respondents said they felt others presumed they did not work.

(there's more if you click the link above)

My goal is to shame and embarrass, and I wouldn't initiate anything physical... But since you mention it, I did get tackled by a WOMAN who had parked cock-eyed across two disabled spaces at a FedEx place in Los Angeles. She snuck up behind me an hit & kicked me in the middle of the lower back. Being a gentleman, I was completely at a loss for what to do, since I won't hit women. All I could do was push her away, which was no easy task as she probably had 300 lbs of blubber on her. Felt like pushing a waterbed. She took off, and The FedEx called the police after we both left, and they called me for a statement, and I heard later from a detective that she had a record for assault & battery. I could have filed charges, but too much time & commitment to follow through. I guess it was FedEx policy to call police for anything like that happening inside their business. The woman had no permit, no plackard, no nothing; just a huge ego that made her feel above society and above the law. What I had said to her was "At least don't hog BOTH handicapped spaces... I understand that you're too lazy to walk the extra 30 feet from the regular spaces; Or maybe your handicap is that you can't see well enough to read the (handicapped parking only) sign on this side?" The woman simply PROVED her NON-disability status by trying to attack a bodybuilder who is a foot taller than she is. I guess if I wanted to make a comedy scene of it, I could have picked her up and put her upside down in the wastebasket and watched her legs flail about, but it wasn't a joke at the time of course.

Thanks for the compliment on the picture... But I really don't have any experience or desire to get physical, if at all possible. I wouldn't stand a chance against someone with fighting skills. I can lift heavy objects, but that doesn't give me any skills in fighting or defense, unless I can bluff and just "look menacing"...

Charles

Last edited by kx250rider on 17 May 2011, 12:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My dad has a permanent physical disability, so he uses the disabled parking, but I don't know if I would use it on my own. Our shopping malls also have special parking for seniors, pregnant people, and people with babies. Senior parking I can understand. I thought walking was good for pregnant people. And I don't like the parking for people with babies--especially since anyone with a car seat uses this whether the baby is there or not. I figure babies are protected by layers of clothing and covers in the stroller, parents can walk just as far as everyone else.

I do have severe HFA autism, but I don't know if I would feel right about using the disabled parking. Aside from the fact that I ALWAYS get lost and have to depend on my 11 year old niece to get us back to the car--I don't know, the disabled parking fills up so quickly, and I am capable of walking. I wouldn't think it right for someone who can easily walk to take up space from someone who has a cane or a walker and can barely hold themselves up. I really don't know...Of course, for people like you who almost get physical sick, it might be different. I don't feel that way after walking through a parking lot. I guess it should be a case by case basis maybe.

Yes, I did think of that after I wrote it. I know that bodybuilding is not the same as martial arts. Building muscular strength is often unrelated to any violent tendencies or being good in a fight. It's more about looking good and feeling healthy. So I guess my joke was meaningless.

It wasn't really a compliment (sorry to disappoint you; my brutal honesty is taking over here); more of an observation. I remembered your picture because I was interested to note that you are into exercise and are able to build muscle, because so many people on here complain that they are thin and lanky and can't build muscle at all.

And this is turning into a hi-jack now, so I'd better relate it back to your story.

What a psycho lady! I am glad you did not hit her or put her upside-down in the bin, though. You would have been painted as the bad guy, and got into trouble with the police.

While it IS easy to push a stroller up to the car, imagine a single Mother who doesn't have a stroller and relies on a shopping cart to put her car seat into. Is she supposed to carry the car seat(which weigh a ridiculous amount and are extremely awkwardly shaped) all the way across the parking lot? I don't know about where you live, but in the Walmart parking lot here, carrying something that heavy that far while trying to avoid cars is dangerous and not very comfortable. There are also parents who have children who have a hard time in the parking lot, or multiple children and walking through the parking lot would be dangerous.

I do believe the parking things are abused, and it's very unfortunate because when someone like me actually needs one, I can't get one.

I don't drive and never will, so it doesn't effect me...but I've seen it effect others, my old neighbour had something wrong with his mobility so he had a badge and thus parked in disabled parking, he got not only verbal abuse but physically assaulted twice.

Hidden or not-glaringly-obvious disabilities see disabled people attacked all the time, I've seen it with many people...it's one reason why I've considered walking round with a t-shirt saying 'Disabled' or 'This is what a disabled person looks like' to show we don't have to be drooling in a corner or getting round on a wheelchair to be considered disabled and have specific needs.