Question about depression? Not Feeling?

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Ok so i have had depression for about 3 to four years now started when i was 13, and the depression is under control right now, however something is still with me... What i mean by that is during my last depressive year i hit rock bottom as close to going to institute as possible just not pass the line, and when this happened i didnt feel emotions even though they were there, and i feared absolutly nothing, however this seems to have carried over, and things like people dying and scary movie along with pain, and just about everything else that you could possibly fear, well... there gone. I dont know exactly what to do, i mean i know i feel emotions but i dont ignollege them, more or less i dont care about them.

Take for example if i were to be robbed and held at gun point well, the gunner would be s**t out of luck because im going to fight him and if that means getting shot and dying then so be it.

IDK i told my mom this and she looked at me like i was crazy

Has anybody had/have this? and is it good or bad?

I had some kind of "episode" about three years ago when I discovered AS. I basically re-lived every significant experience of my life, didn't sleep for weeks, and ended up in a hospital for a week. That was my first and hopefully last experience like that. I think that type of world view changing event can only happen once.

During the above event was the last time I felt strong emotions, or basically any emotions at all. There have been some significant life changes that have happened since (friends moving away, sister trying to kill herself, etc) but I haven't really left anything. I'm intellectualy concerned/worried/sad, but I don't feel anything. It's like that fuse blew and hasn't been replaced.

I don't think I'm depressed. I feel better about myself now than I ever have. I think it just got to the point where there was too much, and my mind just stopped processing emotions.

That probably doesn't answer your question, or help out much, but I figured I would share. Knowning one isn't the only person to experience something is a common source f comfort for many. :-/

all of the sudden that Pink Floyd song started making a lot of sense huh.
I was 1st diagnosed with major depression probably 19 years ago, there have been ups and downs, we won't go into too much detail but comfortably numb can become the state you function best in.
This isn't to say I don't feel anything ever, however to some extent i think that depression teaches you to learn to dampen down your outward response to the internal physical experience we call emotions or "feelings". you get used to feeling anxious when you know that you shouldn't or feel like curling up and dying without any particular reason (at least not untill you try and think of one, and then .....)

I am really not sure If i was infact going somewhere with this, but in any case numbness is what depression and isolation is all about.

I like the state that I function in because well I'm not afraid to get hurt or any of that stuff, however if I stay in this state I believe I may end up hurting my self accidentally doing something stupid like try to jump from a roof to a pool ( lol, good thing I don't have a pool ). Also another problem is with the dulling of my emotions I'm not an easy family member to get along with, tell me since you guys have had longer than me how did your family and freinds or girlfriend/boyfriend ( if u have or had one, I wish I did but that's besides the point ), handle it?

I have struggled with depression. I think less severely than you have, and my heart goes out to you. One thing, faced with the prospect of institutionalization, I’d say numbing out is normal, and I might even say a ‘healthy’ response to the situation. Shame there’s not real better alternatives. Like home health visits from competent, respectful people. Like community centers that really work. I have just published this post:

Treating depression can be hit or miss (2009 article)
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt163505.html

Well, one thing that really bothers me. I debate with myself whether the world is open enough. It damn sure isn't as open as it could be. And in addition all this, even philosophical, there is the biochem component. As I understand it, not a doctor in the world can predict, for example, whether Cymbalta will work for a particular patient or not. That in a very respectable sense, it is trial and error. Then we get to the point that a lot of doctors can’t talk worth s**t (to put it frankly!) or can’t admit they’re wrong (and psychiatrists and other mental health ‘professionals’ can be among the worse in this regard). So, just a doctor a person can halfway talk with can be a big help, and it can be just a ‘regular’ doctor like an internist or a family practitioner (and halfway talk with may be the most a person can realistically expect! I mean, the profession needs a lot of help).

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I like political activism, even when it doesn’t work out. Might there be something you like, that you think is worthwhile, and the feelings might follow and they might not?

I've had this for most of my life. I know exactly what you mean.

I think the way out...or rather, at least a partial way out...is to find someone that you end up caring for a great deal and connecting with on a fundamentally emotional level. To an extent, this is love. It's just not a necessarily sexual love.

Somehow, me and a certain friend became INCREDIBLY close to the point that if he was gay/bi xor one of us was female, we'd totally be married. The logic that applies to the feeling of...numbness is that we feel so emotionally connected that neither of us can afford to act in a haphazard way wherein one might end up getting hurt, as that would lead the other to become hurt as well. I'm pretty sure that if one of us were to end up dying, the other would end up going mad with grief much like Ophelia does in Hamlet.

It's quite powerful, and, to be honest, I'm not sure if I prefer it this way. It does make the rest of the world, at least, easier to bear, if not more pleasant.


If anything, could find some activity that you REALLY enjoy and keeps you alive. The logic there is: "Hm...well, if I were to end up dead, I wouldn't be able to do activity Y anymore! But there's so much left to do. Bah. I guess staying alive is a better idea."

Yeah I did go to an institute once for about 4 days I was scared, lol, but beside the point I just wanted to know how o should feel about it and thanks for the replies

Some things I feel too much, others not enough. I find with depression it's hard to feel sentimental or nostalgiac about things. Everything is just bleak and flat. I even miss being able to feel genuinely sad sometimes, if that makes any sense. I mean, despair and hopelessness, just manifests as very bitter and constantly tense. My depressions are full of rage more than anything else and it's just horrible.