Be Yourself

Post Reply New Topic

Does anyone find this piece of advice annoying?

When people say this to me I can't help but think
"Isn't being myself causing problems? I got this diagnosis by being myself"

I like to think of that sort of thing as NT echolalia They repeat it over and over again, even when it doesn't make any sense in the context....

NTs say it but don't mean it. When we're ourselves we're repressed by society. But I still stick to it. I'm not going to be someone else just because it's what NTs would prefer.

Contrary to my signature, I'm no where near myself in school. I'm more quiet than usual, and people think of me as shy. I do act like myself in my social skills classes, and people like me more there, they are people like me.

I'd rather be myself and show my face to the world, than pretend to be, what I'm not. If I like the 60s, better than than today's culture, than why would I pretend to like "The Times"? I'd rather that I be myself and have people see me, as I am at face value. That way, nobody wastes my time, and I don't waste the time of people that I have nothing in common with.

How can you not be yourself?

There's nothing wrong with being yourself when you have AS, or any other significant difference. It's a matter of finding people who accept you and respect you for who you are.

You can act like someone else, denying your own way of conducting yourself. It's a metaphorical saying that gets the point across much faster than having to explain the whole idea.

I think "Be Yourself" is just something people say that doesn't really mean anything because they are to lazy, uncaring, or uncreative to come up with something else. It's much easier to tell someone to Be Themselves instead of of trying to tell em what they need to change in order to fit in & have people like em. I think Being Yourself could also be meat as a way to tell someone to relax & not worry so much. Sometimes when people are nervous; they make things worse but if the person believes that they will be accepted; they can relax more & have a better chance of it. I do think being told to Be Myself is very annoying/frustrating & I wish people would try to come up with other things instead of quoting that extremely overused cliche like a parrot.

I think 'be yourself' is very good advice, actually. Pretending to be someone else is tiring and requires lies upon lies. In the end, the lies always unravel. Then you're left with less then when you started and often times a lot less then what you would have had if you had just 'been yourself'.

Also, like a PP said, what's the point of wasting other peoples' and our own time with a charade?

I find that most people who tell others to "Be themselves", are usually the most interesting and authentic people; I rarely hear it out of the mouth of the ones who follow crowds and conventions. Those people -at least over here- tend to say "act normal", by which they mean don't act strange, 'cos strange is scary. I find it comforting when I meet people who tell me to 'be myself', although I almost immediately let them know that the advice is unnecessary, because I already walk my own road and am very happy about it.

But, as for the problems that may be caused by being yourself, tweety-fan, I have asked myself the same question you have. If being myself means acting autistic or being autistic, then wouldn't I just be incredibly awkward, clumsy and unhappy in my daily life? To which the answer for me turned out to be, 'no, not at all'. Sure, I am and always will be autistic, but I've been able to look at myself and my autism rationally, ask myself which aspects of me as an autist could be improved on to operate much more smoothly in this world, while retaining those traits that are obviously autistic but in no way negatively affecting my functioning. I mean, if I prefer to isolate myself sometimes, if I prefer not to talk to others, or if I feel I need to stim, who is going to stop me?

It's an important thing for both you and the people around you to remember that you're autistic, but you're not autISM. It's not the be-all-and-end-all of your person... but being yourself will -perhaps for both better and worse- always include autism.

that is a good point u made.

I have had people tell me to be myself but at the same time they get really angry when I give an honest opinion.

But at other times, I have tried to hide my feelings because I think it will be better for others but when others find out that I hid my feelings they get angry with me.

I always be myself, and my signature says why.

I denied parts of myself for 10 years and all it made me was depressed and crazy.

Screw that.

I want to apologize as I was being difficult. I know what be yourself means, but there's always a small part of me that wants to scream: THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. No matter what you do it's still you doing it.

I realize being yourself roughly means not letting others influence how you want to act. The phrase itself is still frustrating on some level because it's impossible to not be yourself.

Ah, I can reply to stuff today. Couldn't last night cos there was too much traffic here.

This might sound and actually be incredibly socially responsible but, in addition to making life that much simpler and a better fit, being oneself makes the world bigger by expanding the possibilities. And diversity really does = resilience. Especially if both parties are willing to communicate honestly and aim for
non-judgementalness. And what a good way to screen out those who aren't willing to do that.

Violence excluded, of course.

That said, I've learned to play the game a little to well for my taste, maybe cos I'm more NLD than Aspie. I was convinced to do so by a therapist who said I needed to do so to be kind and that it would give me more choices not fewer. All it's done is convince some shmucks that since I CAN be sociable, I SHOULD be social and that it's their responsibility to harrass (oops! encourage) me.

Start philosophy. Turn to rant. Oops.