Fear of giving suggestions

Post Reply New Topic

I fear giving suggestions of what to do to people because I am worried they are going to say no. I have never met anyone else with this problem, so I was wondering if this was an aspie thing. Even if I have an idea of what I'd like to do, I fear telling people it. 90% of the time when they do, they say "no".

Is anyone else like this?

I have problems making suggestions.

I don't so much have an issue with people saying no, as with people not listening to my suggestions, or people belittling my suggestions. I'm really not keen on making suggestions on things to do, because if I'm with other people I want to make sure they get to do whatever they want to do and wouldn't want to impose myself on them...even though I'm normally bossy.

I don't give suggestions unless people ask for them. And even then, I try to make it clear that what I say is only a suggestion, and that they have a choice not to do it, and that it may not be the best idea.

I'm afraid to give suggestions, because I'm not exactly the brightest in that area. When someone on this site asks for suggestions in The Haven, I tell them that I care, which I do and give them some well wishes for their future.

It really depends.

If one person is describing a situation involving other people I might say I don't have all sides of the story and I don't have enough information.

Or if I think I have enough information I might try to give about 3 recommendations. Like if you do a certain thing you might get a certain result, with some variations depending on what "Thing" is done or even if they take no action at all.

I usually ask if I can make a suggestion. If its not open to debate or change, the answer is usually a very quick 'no'. Just asking before offering is a good way to keep the 'run at the mouth' syndrome in check.

I don't know what to suggest.

seriously though, I am like that too. I find it hard to know whether people will take my suggestions as critisisms, even when they are not.

I tend not to give suggestions, usually because I have nothing to say. But even if I do, I don't usually give any, for many of the reasons above and also because I worry about the person taking my suggestion and it ending up being wrong. I could go around saying YMMV, but that tends to get annoying.