asperger=loner

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DO you agree?

Dont get me wrong I used to be very popular at school and had lots of freinds I played soccer with and online gaming etc..

However, after high school I just became a loner and I dont see that changing.

I laugh and joked with people in lectures and labs but had no desire to hang with them out of course.

I played soccer and sports with people but had no desire to hang with them after sports.

I have a freind I go play guitar with/rent studio but ater 1-2 hours I want to be alone again

etc..etc...

Its weird I always had freinds throughout school and was alwyas playing video games and sports. I Still would game and play sports with mates but I dunno I just feel ive been a loner for years now.

Meeting and connecting with new people is weird and hard after school for peopel with AS IMO


Aspergers or introevert or both or asperger=intorvert? I like socailsing though as In playing Playstation with 5-6 dudes is fun!! ! But hanging with no purpose is boring!!

DO you also find that, you need a purpose when socialising to enjoy it

Last edited by aspardon on 11 Jun 2011, 10:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I was always a loner. And too socially awkward to be even remotely close to popular. I only ever had a few friends, and they never lasted long.

If I had wanted to keep in touch with my friends, I could have gotten together with 10 friends or more.

Offlate I don't meet anyone...I work in an isolated lab and post here while I wait for my expts to finish and adderall has turned me into an insomniac... so I have been spending way too much time here in the lab..

I have two good friends that I enjoy hanging out with. I also have AS.

Hanging out isn't too bad, but I've known these people for over 10 years.. I don't really have any new friends... Right now though, I don't really want to deal with people. I'm trying to not make it all dramatic and crap like I want attention, I'm just not talking with them or making myself available for conversation.

I'm not really sure if I'd call myself a loner or not, since I like to do things with people, but, I just have enough problems with them that they make me want to avoid them.

Definitely true for me.

Sometimes I'd like to have friends, but I just don't seem to connect with anyone like that.

I have acquaintances I'm on good terms with though, it's not like I never get out of the house. Just no connection magic.

Ditto! Although, for me, I'm too socially awkward to be even remotely close to being unknown. Definitely not popular, though.

Last edited by swbluto on 11 Jun 2011, 11:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I can relate. I had a wide range of friends in high school, played sports, belonged to clubs. I always felt somehow disconnected though. In college I had less friends, but felt socially active, belonging to fraternity helped. After college my social life dwindled. I didn't pick up the phone, or email and the years flew by. My NT wife has maintained contact with some mutual high school and college friends, but I can't take credit for that. The few close friends I've made as an adult have been based on common interest. A few guys I've climbed with, a few neighbors, and a fishing buddy. If I move or change interests, friendships fade.

I consider myself a loner despite being surrounded by alot of people. People I consider a friend are those who put your interests before theirs. I have alot of people that could be friends but lot of them are a**holes because they are just concerned about making themselves the loudest and most heard. They tend to also just care about themselves, like if they were ordering dinner they would order just for themselves. I'm not like that, I actually care about other people. I have a couple of close friends, I guess I'm picky about who I make friends with. I don't make friends with a*holes.

I like spending time with one or two close friends but thats about it. I guess you could consider me a loner but I don't really fully consider myself one.

I've always been a bit of a loner I thought it was because I took after my Dad as he prefered to read his books then socialise.
I've never had any friends that wanted to stay around long enough, although I do have one or two that I keep in contact with over the phone but not to go out with.
I didn't like being pushed to socialise when I was younger all it did was make me keep to myself all the more.

I've always been a loner, since I was probably 3 or 4. I have had few friends, but never more than one or two at a time. There have definetely been times I haven't had any friends. It really doesn't bother me most of the time, though, I very much enjoy being by myself. Even casual contact with people is about all I can take a lot of the time. It does bother me when I really need to "network" for my job-- the whole social skills thing becomes a big hurdle at that point. That's part of why I would like to get a diagnosis, it might open up some possibilities for help. Unfortunately, the more I read here on WP, the less likely that seems

I enjoy meeting new and "different" people. I prefer to meet up with people who have quirks.

ruveyn

I have one close friend. He calls me daily. All we talk about is anxiety, humour and our obsessions. I have a lot of trouble hanging out with extroverts because they expect you to do social "stuff". Even my girlfriends/spouse were very difficult to live with because they couldn't find stuff to do on their own; whereas for me, I love doing stuff on my own. Sometimes I feel pressured to do stuff with them because they seem to need to do stuff with people/me or else they seem bored/agitated. I like this introvert quote:

"It seems to me, from observing friends, that extraverts seem to draw a lot of their sense of self from the people they spend time with and their relationships, whereas introverts I think draw much more of their sense of self from personal endeavors and thoughts within themselves. I feel like that is the root of the idea of 'peer pressure' and why introverts can't understand why they get picked on for being different. It seems like extraverts really need the people around them to reflect themselves or they feel uncomfortable and conflicted, or that they look to others to help them define who they are. Whereas my introverted friends and I have often commiserated about people not being able to just let us be different and move on.

I never understood how other people doing something could make someone want to do it too. I always knew exactly what I liked or thought apart from whatever people told me. I liked sharing my interests, but when I met with someone who thought differently than me it didn't make me reconsider myself...It's almost like extraverts discover and access their interests through other people, while introverts discover and access people through their interests - they each have a different base or starting point. As for myself, I don't just feel like I've lost energy, but I actually feel like I've lost touch with myself, like I'm not fully living, when I spend too much time interacting with others, and too little time tending my root - that is, my interests."

I have friends, but I prefer being alone.