Dealing with Kids

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I realized this today, since I was mostly isolated and occasionally bullied as a kid, I cant deal with kids very well now. I become more scard about not how to interact with kids. And I think this fear roots from not knowing how to interact with other kids as a kid. Its hard for me to interact with people under 14 because once I started interacting with my peers, Jr/Sr of HS, 14 was the youngest age I interacted with. Does anyone else have this problem? I know some aspies are good with kids, its understandable because interacting with kids doesn't require as much social skills.

Only issue I have is knowing what to say and what not to say to kids. I also fear what if I do the wrong judgment, then I'd be the bad guy. I just don't hang out with kids.

But I am fine around my niece and nephews since they know me and my condition.

I am probably just being paranoid of course because of what society expects and I am just afraid of screwing up and learning the hard way.

On the rare occasion that I interact with kids, like when family members are visited and their kids are around, I find I can interact better with them than with the adults. It doesn't surprise me. It's like they all have AS. Kids are more socially naive than adults, not interested in small talk, they don't lie to you or look you in the eye, and they're usually obsessively interested in something. And their toys are awesome.

I like to be around kids of family members. This is a relatively new experience to me. I used to worry that I can't tell them anything good and I wouldn't understand what they say or want. I like to play with them now (sometimes as if I was a kid myself), and if they do something wrong, usually I know what to do, I'm very permissive with them, but also try to explain them what is wrong. I feel drained after a while, though, and it's hard to stand when they cry, I comfort them if I can.

Have you tried to interacting with kids as equals?

What I mean is that I'm an adult who is kind of child-like, so I find it much more natural to interact with kids than adults. I usually ask them questions about themselves, and they seem to enjoying answering at length. This could go on for hours. The age doesn't seem to matter. They seem to prefer talking to me than playing with anything when I am there. It's a little bizarre. Maybe they enjoy being treated as equals? Children flock to me, and I have a lot of difficulty disengaging myself from them. Another factor I considered is that I never ever use the adult-to-child fake high-pitched voice with the patronizing tone or coddling demeanor around them. Maybe they can sense that I am taking them seriously, so they just keep talking and talking and talking?

Kids tend to gravitate towards me and I interact with them really well, on a one to one basis. I volunteer at my daughter's school and help a little boy with his reading. I think he sees me as his pal. As a result, he's willing to get on with his reading, knowing that he can still chat to me about Star Wars, Dr Who and anything else that the story might trigger conversation about. However, when I have a group of 3 or more around me, I find it hard to swap my attention from one to the other.

I find it really difficult to deal with kids. My sister has 2 toddlers and when they come to visit I find the noise and chaos they create especially hard. I find it frustrating when they get all of their toys out at once, you can only play with one at a time! This doesn't really make any sense because I am not a particularly tidy person but I guess it's different when it's your own untidiness Kids are also notoriously unpredictable; laughing one minute crying the next.

Most people seem to find it easy to switch between "adult" style of talking to "baby talk" but I find it impossible so I tend just speak to them as if they were older! This probably explains the strange looks my 20 month old nephew gives me. I agree with bybnnyr about the patronising way some adults speak to kids. I really wouldn't want to be like that! I also feel quite guilty for not really interacting with them very much. Does anyone else just find their whole play thing quite boring? I just can't seem to get myself enthused about playing tea parties or whatever it may be.

I do not know how to talk with kids.
From my earliest memory, i know a kid (even if 4 or less years old) understand regular language, so i talk with them with a normal language, and a normal voice. But, years ago (i was already older than 20), my cousin (she was 10) asked to me 'how old are you?' I've said '20' And my cousin '20? What a surprise, i believe you were a child, not more than 12 years old, and instead you're an adult!'
My mom has explained me that i must threat children as children, not as adults, and i don't know how. Do i have to use pet names? do i have to speak with high pitched voice? i don't know. I do this all the time with cats, but i do not know how to do speak with children.

I like to be around kids, in fact my dream job is working with kids.

I don't like spending time around kids... They're always too loud or annoying!

Talking to kids in a cutesy voice is just stupid. My parents didn't talk to us that way when we were children and I never talked that way either to them. But babies are different.

And as for a child asking how old you are and you say you age, how do you tell it in a child way? "Twenty and three quarters?" I never answered that way as a kid either. I just said I was eleven or thirteen or seven. I never said "and a half" or "three quarters."

I find kids much easier to deal with, at least until they start learning to be jerks. They are transparent and have less guile.

Because I pretty much act like a kid, kids often see me as an equal. Normally that doesn't bother me, but everyone says I should be more authoritative because I'm an adult. I've tried getting kids to take me more seriously, but I haven't had any luck. This is starting to worry me a bit. What if the day comes where I want kids of my own but I can't discipline and teach them properly because they don't respect me?