Please, need guidance from the Aspie community?

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Hi, I've wondered for years why I am the way I am, and I recently came across information on Asperger's. There were so many things that just hit home with me. I was just about bawling when I first read all the things that fit. So, after a few months I mustered up the courage I've never had to go to my shcool psychologist. I told her what I was thinking and what was going on, but she seems to be a little skeptical on the idea of me being an Aspie. She's thrown by how "warm and likable" i am, and that i'm "extremely self-aware". Obviously, I don't think I'm more informed than a professional, but there are so many little things that seriously don't go with anything else.
My extreme apathy, my indifference with death, my inability to form any real relationships, complete inability and struggle with expressing my feelings (i went through years of depression and suicidal thoughts but never told a soul about it, even though i desperately wanted help), the way i would repeat things in a whisper for years when i was little, which i only stopped doing out loud because my sister teased me for years (are there any other conditions that even have echolalia-related symptoms????) and i still do when i'm alone, i used to lick my arms and hands?, i'm much more mature than my peers, and i'm very intelligent.
sometimes/often i'll listen to people speak, but i won't be able to register what they said to me until several moments, hours, days even, later. so, in conversations, i know that i usually responding to comments with unrelated responses and it sounds like i'm completely ignoring people. it's the worse because i'm afriad i may be about to lose the job i love because i mess so much stuff up from it.
i'm 16, and now it's summer...so i'm trying to decide whether to try to see someone or just wait it out or drop it....please help.

It is hard when someone has a preconceived notion of what Asperger's is and it is wrong or incomplete. Some people want you to act like Rain Man and others think every aspie should be like Adam from the eponymous film (good film by the way).

I get the "warm and likable" and "extremely self-aware" comments a lot... the first one is because I act really well after years of trying to pass as NT and the second is because I am have spent years trying to learn 'how to act normal' so I examine everything I do and try to fit it into a framework of what I consider normal to be. Managed to do a disservice to myself, NTs and Aspies all at the same time there.

My first word of advice is if it feels right thinking of yourself as an Aspie then run with it... there is always time to find out you were wrong and it is really something else later on. In the mean time the coping mechanisms and support will help.

My second word of advice is see someone about it. I would not suggest diagnosis shopping but if you do not feel supported then see someone else beyond that. I was lucky that I found a therapist who treated each symptom empirically because at the time I first saw her Aspergers had been in the DSM for a year and she barely knew anything about it. Instead she just took each issue as it came and addressed it (the diagnosis came years later with another practitioner).

And keep reading on the forums here... you will quickly figure out if you are one of us or not. And either way welcome and help yourself to some support.

I only heard of AS a few years ago myself. I am well past school. When I first started reading about it it was like suddenly so much made sense. Thing is I am also quite smart, probably my biggest strength is figuring things out so I have "figured out" how to avoid acting odd, long ago. I have a pretty good idea of what and what not to say, though I still make so many mistakes. Currently I am seeking a diagnosis, still some ways off.

Anyway the thing is even when I doubt I have AS there is still the problems. If I really didn't have AS then why do I have these problems no one else seems to have? Why do I always see things and think things other people never even consider or realise? Why do I have so much trouble just organising myself? If it isn't AS then what is it? AS fits so perfectly though, it has to be it.

I am going to guess you have trouble organising yourself, like doing homework or assignments is difficult? Get help with that at least. Get someone to help you set up a time and place, so you can work on that stuff. Looking back I really wish I had some help with that back in school.

Also I am guessing your in the US? Maybe try talking with your mum, or otherwise try to find a doctor that has experience with AS? Just cause a doctor has heard of AS doesn't mean they are technically fit to give a diagnosis for it.

if the symptoms fit you, there is a high chance of indeed being an aspie, although we are far from qualified to either agree or deny your self-diagnosis; if only becouse this is via the internet...
also, the self-aware and warm/likable are far from killers in the diagnosis; actually, the majority of aspies/autistics i know are like that...
it is, however, very likely that your school psycologist doesn't really know what aspergers is; this is quite common, even for 'professionals'.
if you truly suspect you are an aspie, i recommend you to find a non-school psycologist that specialises in autism/aspergers and get a professional diagnosis

One of the most curious aspects of Aspergers, if someone does indeed have it, they are likely more capable of diagnosing it than anyone else, given access to sufficient data. Some of the unique qualities of the condition allow for nonbiased self reflection and critical rational processes of analysis.

That's not to suggest that all self diagnosed cases are accurate.

AS is very varied - AND certain people see someone who suspects he might be Aspie as a weakling looking for excuses to justify his behavior - as my brother said.

Further - some professionals get antsy if the patient / client starts to suggest a diagnosis. You are supposed to ask humbly and let the high priest pronounce.

You're completely right about the disorganized thing, it's awful haha. And the psychologist specializes in Autism and ASD so that was why I was even made comfotable in telling her, because i thought she would at least somewhat believe the possiibility unlike everyone else who would think i'm just "trying to call myself autistic".
Here's the thing. I'm fine with introductions and small talk, it's really the only thing i excel at socially, just because it has a very obvious and simpe to understand structure, and i can be around other people without making them terribly uncomfortable, as long as they themselves are really strange. For example, i went to a girl whom i've know for years's grad party last night, and ended up hanging out with some theatre kids. they're all actual freaks haha, just strangest interests, they're all a little...off. a lot of them having learning diabilities and things. so i hung out with them, played pool that sort of thing,and i felt like i did enjoy being in that environment (for the most part, it got noisy at one point, just like this terrible din of voices, and my head was pounding) but if i tried to create proper conversation with anyone it would fail as usual. i can handle basic responses to random unrelated thoughts like Have you seen suchandsuch a movie...no i haven't....where did you get your shirt...suchandsuch a place.... it's not like i don't talk at all. i talk but it's not realconversation.
in fact, one guy showed up there, this guy who's always been sort of...eh ugh well flirty i guess? and don't get me wrong, he's great and i am interested in him and everything, but he was only there a few minutes and he sat really close to me to talk to me, and i'm afraid i offended/made him really uncomfortable because it may have seemed like i didn't want him there or so close to me (i really am thrown off by people in my space) but i just didn't know what to say or do, even though he wanted to really talk to me... and this isn't even like Oh well he's cute so i got nervous. NO, flirting or not, i didn't know how to converse with him at all.
ah this is frustrating. and you say that professionals don't like patients choosing diagnosis, which i know and it makes me nervous. it's not like i want a problem, i just want to know what my problem may be before blindly trusting a stranger. and the way everything just clicks...i really don't know how it could be anything else...

The fact that my entire life I've been misdiagnosed with multiple different unrelated psychiatric disorders, leads me to conclude that professionals are often no more correct than I am, an untrained layperson, in diagnosing myself.

In fact it is so perfectly obvious that I have Aspergers that I don't understand how anyone could have missed it or kept confusing it for things such as "bipolar" and "schizotypal". My opinion of professionals is not too high because of this. I think an intelligent individual with Aspergers can diagnose themself with a greater chance of being correct than a professional.