Isolation, during the crucial years of development.

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Ok so I feel like I was pretty isolated as a child, yeah its true I had parents and siblings and there where other kids at school but I felt isolated from them and the feeling was only increased when people started to express obvious dislike of me......It felt and still feels like theirs a wall between me and the rest of the world. So yeah I can't help feeling like spending my childhood in that state of mind might have had some negative effects. Its just been on my mind since I've been taking psychology in college and apparently that is not good for mental health. Now my only question is how much of an effect did it have? and how much of it can be changed and how much is just now part of my personality? Has anyone else experianced this or anything simular and if so or even if not what are your thoughts about it?

I might be wrong but I think that feeling "isolated" is sort of what ASD is about. I described it to my shrink as being in a bubble floating just above the world. A bubble that I could not always get out of.

I think that all the models that you are learning are based off neurotypical views and studies so would not give statements you learn in psych class that much value to your personal story.

As for me, I think being isolated was not harmful so much. We have a different way of relating to people and that way is just as valid. IMHO.

I was also very isolated as a child. Very aloof.

I've never taken psychology, so I don't know what effect this kind of thing is supposed to have on mental health. Is it supposed to have a negative effects for NTs or for all people? Because I feel like the same standards don't apply to autistic people without the same level of social needs and desires. How much effect it had on you would probably depend on your specific level.

My level was very low, so I feel that being isolated and unaware actually protected me from dislike and bullying. I was pretty happy being alone then, and the same now. I'm not sure that it would be a definite negative for an autistic child who is not ready for social interaction to stay isolated for a significant chunk of childhood.

Hi Sweetleaf. I grew up isolated too. I had no siblings, & my parents weren't into spending time with me. i had some role models but it was inconsistent at best. I would say that I grew up being introspective. I also learned to be independent, & self-reliant as I didn't mind being on my own. In fact, I preferred it. I am curious to find out what the difference is for a child to be isolated who is NT vs one who is AS.

The effect of isolation on mental health is highly contextual and situational for each individual. I had a very miserable childhood but was surrounded by family, extended family and school friends. I'm sure there are plenty of others like me.

My daughter is having a great time without friends or siblings just going to school and hanging around with mum and dad at home.

Well I know there are some difference in how things effect neurotypical people and non-neurotypical people. But I guess I was thinking having aspergers obviously predisposed me to think differently then most people and have that feeling of isolation...and then it was made more negative when people started picking on me and such because it caused me to isolate myself further. But I was not in a happy bubble of bliss, I kinda wanted out but by the time I realised this it seems like it was too late.

Well that makes more sense then my situation, because I had family but no friends at school really.....I even felt and still feel isolated around family. like I will talk to them and such but I don't feel connected at all so yeah its like psychological isolation not actually being alone too often.

Maybe it's because you have AS that sets you apart from your family? If you behave in a way not comfortable to someone who is NT, they typically avoid that person. I was never close to my parents. I had few friends who'd tolerate my oddities. Like I said, I grew up kind of on my own. At my parents house, I almost always felt like an intruder, this was true even when I was a kid. I just felt like I never belonged in their house. I spent a lot of time in my own fantasy world because it didn't matter what people thought about me in RL. My imagination is probably what kept me going. I am pretty sure my dad also has AS. The more I learn about it the more behaviors I see in him. He couldn't relate to my special interests. He forced me to learn his (antiques), but it was a one way street. There were a few interests we shared & for that I'm grateful...like a love of the outdoors. He never had to force that on me.

Well I suppose, that could be part of it...I mean I tried convincing myself I was close to my family, because they where all I had considering everyone at school mostly hated me. And I read a lot of books or just imagined things a lot of the time just to kind of escape from the lonliness. I guess I am just worried I wont be able to handle it all with the way that effected me...I mean I am not stuck in a lonely walled in bubble by choice. But yeah I just feel kinda doomed.

I am most comfortable when I'm isolated. People are noisy and intrusive.

Doesn't mean I never want to be around them, but I don't really need to be around them.

I don't think it's isolation alone so much as not having certain emotional needs met. I mean if you have no one you ever feel comfortable talking to for an extended time.

Here, I'm not an expert, but I kinda experienced the same thing. Depending on how bad it was, you might have missed crucial parts of your development. Don't feel bad- this world is so f****d up a lot of people did.

You can learn a lot of what you missed out on, but remember, it's like learning a new language when you're older- it's a constant battle, and you'll always have an accent. I gotta stomach ache so I gotta lay down, but PM me if you wanna talk. We discussed this in an Aspergers meeting.

When you feel isolated while talking to family is it because you fear criticism or not being understood? Or is it just a kind of lack of interest because it seems like your concerns and their concerns are light-years apart?

I've spent the majority of the past few years isolated in some way. I don't think it's caused any problems, but if it did, I don't even know where I would find them.

I think I do have a desire to actually connect with someone, but it can be so hard to do I sometimes wonder why I even bother trying.

I don't know exactly....kinda both I guess, but also I just feel like I can't get close to anyone even if I want to. I mean I've faked it but I can only come off as normal enough for a while before everyone decides I'm a total freak. I mean maybe this is just my own perception but even if I am in public I feel like people automatically avoid me. This is also why I do not like being around most of my family for too long......I can only act like I am enjoying it for so long because I really don't enjoy faking.

Have you ever been with anyone where you didn't feel like you had to be fake? I do kind of know what you mean though. I'm lucky I have a family where I don't have to hide my moods from or pretend I'm happy when I'm not. I mean, I know they don't like it that I'm depressed. I know my depression hurts them and that in turn hurts me and makes me horribly angry at the whole thing because I know I really don't have control when there's this notion that I should have control. Stuff tends to get out of control and blow up but I still take that over having keep myself under wraps all the time. I often feel like it's a massive burden to function in public when I'm depressed as it's just exhausting. I can have a more cheery facade and I might even appear like I'm animated or enjoying myself, but then as soon as it's over the depression hit's back like a rock. Most of the time I don't even answer the phone as it's just too hard and too unpredictable.