were you aware of your aspergers symptoms before diagnosis?

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this is my first post on this forum, iv read a lot on the website and have to say its an excellent source of information. iv recently come to the conclusion that i might have aspergers and started the process of getting a psychiatric eval for me. for years i have been conscious that i have been different in some way, but i didnt know how. it started with me becoming conscious of my saying random s**t at times and growing more quiet because of that, depression, inability to connect with people, wanting to be alone a lot, fidgeting, undiagnosed add, a high interest in music, and things like sensitivity to socks, temperature, and certain shirts. i am also pretty sure my father has aspergers and that his is significantly more pronounced than in me.
before i attributed these things to me just being eccentric and idiosyncrasies, but a worsening depression has caused me to take action. somehow i got led to a list of aspergers symptoms and a lightbulb went off in my mind. a lot of the symptoms just clicked with memories from my past
on tuesday i did a bunch of tests like the colored blocks, timed math, answering questions about a reading, sensory overloading math, and questionaires. today i just got back from my first meeting with a psychologist and told him about my suspicions, and the first thing he replied was that one isnt aware that they have aspergers. i have to admit that there is a part of me that wonders if i just want to have aspergers to explain my problems, but i dont think being aware of it means you dont have it.

my question is if you were aware of your symptoms and problems before you were diagnosed.
for example, i knew since i was 5 that i liked to secretly do my little fidgets with my fingers and toes, especially if i was anxious, nervous, or felt confronted. i couldnt and still cant explain why i did it, i just knew it helped make me feel a little better.
i felt really mad when he said that you couldn't be aware (though i didnt say anything) i personally feel like my aspergers has made me so self conscious that i became aware of my strange characteristics before i knew why

I have always had 'symptoms' but never knew them as such. I was just aware that I was freakishly different. Then I ran into Asperger's on the inter webs and my head exploded in a giant existential epiphany.

I too was aware of being different before finding out about AS.

When my psychologist brought up Asperger's and we started talking about it and I started researching it on my own time, my reaction was, "This explains everything I've been trying to find an answer for." I had brought up so many of the traits before: the fact that I never make eye contact, my disdain for small talk and social rules and formalities, my poor communication skills, my tendency to think and speak literally, my obsessive interests, my extreme sensitivity to light, heat, and touch, my clumsiness, my set habits, my repetitive motions and inability to sit still. I was always aware of these traits and so were others around me, we just didn't know there was a name for it. After talking with my psychologist for months about Asperger's and taking several Asperger's tests and scoring very highly on them, I finally got my diagnosis.

As for awareness, I'm aware that I'm not aware, if that makes sense. I'll say something and not realize that it was probably interpreted as rude or insensitive, but I'll be aware of it later one way or another. I'll notice making repetitive motions with my hands but not until after I've been doing it a long time. And so on and so forth.

Hi 1manwolfpack, welcome to WP.

I've never been formally diagnosed. However, I stumbled across Aspergers, & after doing quite a bit of research it sure explains a lot for me. I've always known I march to the beat of my own rhythm section. Growing up, my differentness from others was often pointed out to me. Finding out about Aspergers & WP was like a huge lightbulb shining above my head.

I started suspecting when I was around 25. Before that I was completely oblivious. At 25 I thought there were several possibilities, including ASD. It wasn't until I was 34 that I was informally diagnosed.

I knew there was something going on, but had no idea what. I've been weirdly different all my life with no workable explanation for it.
Then I discovered Asperger's completely by accident, and it was the single jigsaw piece I'd been missing all this time.

Yes and no. I was aware I was different and knew I had obsessions and liked doing things a certain way, wearing my clothes a certain way. I thought I was different because other kids made me be different just by how they were treating me and I thought I had to try harder to be normal. I also had a hard time with chit chat and with friends. I didn't know any of this was Asperger's. Plus me looking around the room and staring at things or feeling things, I didn't know that was an autism thing either even though it's a sensory thing. Heck I thought everything I did was normal and that everyone had obsessions. Well they do but not like I did. I assumed everyone thought like me and did things I did. I thought people felt the same way I did about stuff like with jeans. I just thought they dealt with it better than I did.

I always thought other people had the same stuff I did, they just handled it better.

I started to learn different over the past year.

I am not impressed with my self-awareness.

From the ages of 3-4 I thought a was normal then one day my mother dropped me off at school at age 5 and I found out otherwise. It was obvious from my first real encounter with age appropiate peers I was different and did not belong. Other people always seemed foriegn to me causing me to act nervous and jerky around them I always am reminded that I am weird and different when I compare myself to others.

I can remember all the other kids playing together on this huge throw rug while I was still sitting at the table. The teacher told me I had to be on the rug so when I left the table to be on the rug the kids ignored me except when I would pick up a toy then they would tell me I could not play with that while snatching it from me so I went back to the table. When the teacher saw me back at the table she screamed at me why are you so difficult then she grabbed me by the arm to put me back on the rug. So I just sat there looking down and not talking to anyone and so began my wonderful expereinces with the Depew School System who told me I was learning disabled then told me I was not after being in special education from 1st to 10th grades.

The teacher was always telling my parents that I did not look at her when she was speaking to me and could never understand what I was saying. From my kindergarden group half the kids who were with me in my special education classes. All the weird kids from the gifted classes were in my kindergarden class as well so I think they dumped all the weird or awkward children in the one class so we could be monitored to see what was wrong with them.

Hi

This is also my first post...

I too have felt different all my life and never 'fitted in' but I always thought it was because everyone ELSE was weird. It never once crossed my mind that I was the exception to the norm.

After reading about AS a couple of years ago, I realised I have all the symptoms and my whole perspective on life has changed...

Welcome, 1manwolfpack and FanOfForests.

What they said.

Some I was aware of, some I was not. I used to do a lot of fidgeting which looking back were more stims but I never really noticed it. I just remember teachers and parents and people at Sunday school always told me to stop moving around.

I could never concentrate in a classroom and didn't know why. Now I'm aware that I can't concentrate around chatter and other background noises.

Even up to the age of 18 I had many symptoms I wasn't aware of. I had noticed by then that I usually had about five interests that I was deeply into and I have one main obsession. I now know they are special interests. And I was always great at remembering trivia which is another autistic trait.

I think the fact that you relate to these symptoms is telling you something.

Any doctor that says you can't have Asperger's because of one reason you should get away from. A psychologist challenged me by saying you had to be obsessive about your interests, and I'll tell you something recently I was so obsessed that it was the only thing I wanted to do. I even told my psychiatrist I just need to be under the stars and have a house with a computer so I could work on my novel. My mum didn't much like that response so I had to work out a system where I could still write but do other things to, like apply for jobs and talk to people.

I've been on this forum for many years and a lot of people have said they had been aware they were different from as young as 7. Sometimes they don't realise it until they are older. I was about 21 when I realised it. But I was such of an oblivious child with a simple mind. I can admit to that now. Everyone on the spectrum is different.

I had no idea that I was different and still don't always.

I knew I was a sucky communicator.

I knew I liked to have a routine.

I knew I was overly sensitive to light.

I knew I was introverted.

I knew I had a very logical and literal mind.

I knew I was obsessed with certain topics.

I knew I was different from most people.

All AS does is explain why.