Views of NTs from an Aspie

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How do you Aspies view NTs. I seem to have a different way of viewing them from a lot of Aspies here, but I just wanted to see how others view them too, as in behaviour, interests, strenghs, weaknesses, personality, and so on. I know all NTs are different, but I just generalized it.

To me, the majority of NTs seem to have the same mind, as in knowing what's weird and what isn't. Not all NTs do (because I do see weird people about), but I just mean most NTs. They all act really normal and basically the same way when they're out in public, and they all know the ''hidden rules'' in which how to remain ''cool''. Even I know all the hidden rules, but some of them I just can't get my head round - especially fashion rules. Most NTs (especially females) seem to know exactly what's in fashion and what isn't, and they do their best to not stand out in fashion-wise. They all know that skinny jeans ''don't look right'' with trainers, but wearing shorts with leggins or tights is OK. Most are afraid of what others think of them, and the ones who aren't afraid probably prefer to be different and probably want to be noticed. I do care what others think, but I'm sometimes clueless of how to dress fashionable, which is more pressure put upon me.

I saw a Start Trek NG episode where Diana Troy temporarily lost her empathic senses. She said that without them, all the people around her were flat, without depth.

That's how people appear to me. There is only the surface. After a long time, I can get a much better sense of a person. But in general, everyone is a shell with nothing on the inside.

I like to think of NTs like animals to observe and study. Once I learn a bit about each individual, I can sometimes get to know them. Other times they're uninteresting in which case I don't waste my time.

I view everybody as human beings subject to their environmental situation. I may notice patterns consistent with Asperger's or narcissism or notice people that are shallow or shy or some that are sycophants, but everyone is subject to certain laws of nature that nobody can escape from, NT or not. Some NTs are more Aspie than people with AS. Everyone has a story, and they tell that story from a first person perspective.

Superficial.

They seem to be very interested in how they are perceived, rather than how they actually are, and they seem to do anything possible to avoid being perceived as unusual. They seem to lie often to avoid others' scrutiny. But most of them seem so busy trying to avoid others' scrutiny that they don't actually spend much time scrutinizing others. The more socially dominant ones seem to criticize others publicly to drive superficial conformation, to make others at least appear to act the way said dominant ones desire.

They also seem to avoid learning details, both about the way that things work and about how things happened.

This is how I think NTs as:-

ASD traits are not traits unique to only ASD individuals. They are human traits, often come to an extreme in Autistics, that when grouped together in one individual usually indicates an ASD. NTs may stim, feel anxiety in social situations, have black and white thinking, be literal thinkers, have narrow focused interests, have language delays, etc. NTs may grow out of their traits, or may continue to exhibit them throughout their life. The main difference is that NTs dont exhibit all or most of the traits concurrently like Autistics do, and often not to the same degree. And some of the signs that do stand out more in ASD people than NTs are just minor.

I think the social thinking can be more different in Aspies than NTs, but even NTs can sometimes misinterpret non-verbal expressions sometimes, but not enough to become a problem interferring with their general social interaction.

The only huge, noticable difference between me and every NT I know seems to be the facial-blindness thing. It doesn't mean I don't know who people are when I see them. It means I don't look around at people enough to spot the people I know, so I tend to walk straight past people. It's because I avoid eye-contact with strangers, so I don't bother looking up at all when walking by myself.

To make a long story short: NTs are everything that I'm not.

When i was little, i thoug NTs were... genius. i observe them a lot for understand why for them, normal things were so easy. I'm fascinated by NTs.

I seriously hate to generalize, but i will try to see common traits. Unfortunately i have little knowledge of adult NTs because lately i don't see much people. I can tell about teen NTs

- Behaviour: Most NTs (all ages) like some routine too. But their routine is not strict. Maybe they may have two hours at day of routine (some have no hours of routine because of lack of time) and the remaining day they never do the same thing. For example, my mom use to sew or to watch TV in certain hours of afternoon. My brother play at videogames during evening (but not always. Sometimes he chats on Facebook, or he studies chinese philosophy or he watch some movie. He spends some evening with his friends).
Mainly teen NTs like to stay togheter, somethimes even all day. Some teen NTs don't do things (especially fashion things) because they like it (somethimes they hate it), but just because it's fashion and they don't want to be considered 'outsider' (italian kids call outsiders 'sfigati' and is not a nice word)
- Interests: More than special interests, they may have passion in a certain activity. Some NTs (all ages) admit they have no interests (my mom and my dad have passion for bikes, my brother now has passion for chinese philosophy but in pash he had no interests and he felt empy because of this).
- Strenghs: They can multitask. One of my classmate could read comics and listen the teacher at the same time. They also can adapt wery well to new situations in little time.
They can read between lines (almost all ages), even if, somethimes, their reading between lines is forced.
- Weakeness: it may be strange, but i noticed that most of teen NTs are extremely trustful toward clearly violent people. Once one of my classmate has been beaten by a friend, and she said that it was for show his affection. For me when a person beat another person is because is violent. Some NTs like to see what they want instead of see what things really are.
Many NTs lack of perfectionism. Is something doesn't come out as they except, they simply say: 'It doesn't matter! It will be for another time!'
- Personality: talking about personality is difficult. They're one different from another. For sure they can read body language (but they fail to read 'body language' of an aspie), they seems to study people for very little time and from few detail they understand if they like a person. I have seen some NTs that were really nice and kind. Some NTs are eccentric. Normally they're considered outsiders and have not much friends. I had some NTs friends that were eccentric (one had clear autistic traits, but his social skills were normal).

- I don't know if this is a NT trait or a human trait, but i have seen that more people get older, more they become close-minded. I think this is a simple human trait.

Maybe my analizys may be wrong. On forum a NT has said to me 'It's clear that you do not know how people really are!'

(To the above poster)

I think your theory is pretty accurate.



But (nothing to do with what you said) I don't get when people on WP say that NT toddlers know just as much social cues as an NT adult. That doesn't really make sense, because often when you go out, you see a parent with a small child, talking to another adult, and the small child is demanding and the parent says, ''can't you see I'm talking at the moment?! Wait!'' The child doesn't seem to care or understand that the adult is talking and so should wait. (That is typical of children).
Also, I often see parents saying to toddlers, ''say bye.'' And the toddler looks all confused and shy, and doesn't say bye at all, but turns the other way, or just looks up and stares. Not all toddlers do this, but a lot do. I see it - I work in a shop.
When I had to pick my friend's 4-year-old girl up from nursery (this was about 3 years ago now), another little girl waved and said bye to her, and she just looked at her and didn't say bye back. I said, ''you're meant to say goodbye back.'' And she didn't seem to understand. She is 7 now, and is NT.

Does anyone say this? Because I have not seen anyone say this. I have seen the opposite. At least one semi-regular poster made a point of telling everyone that toddlers have no social comprehension whatsoever, and that autistic people are just like that (which is also not true, but there was no arguing with him and making any progress).

I swear I saw somewhere that someone put something like ''NTs know social cues from the age of 2.'' Kids can barely talk at 2. The whole point in being a kid is learning. If a kid was brought up, from a tiny baby, by a pack of wolves, and never had any social contact with another human until they were way in their 20s, what would they be like?

(edited) Ah - here it is:

I've never seen two toddlers stand and have a conversation. I used to work in a nursery for work experience, and the toddlers sort of interacted, but you could tell that they were still learning all the social cues. That's what they were there for. We even had to have 15-minute sessions a day where we teach them when to say ''please'' and ''thank you'', and how to be polite instead of rude, and what was rude and what isn't, and what is socially acceptable and what isn't, and so on.

I got the impression you were seeing it everywhere.

Could you link that thread?

Sure.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3702410 ... t=#3702410

I think this thread in this link is a bit far-fetched. If it's just a joke, fair enough.

Thanks.

I'm still working out my answer to this thread, btw. It's a good question.

I think of them as equals. We all come from the same place. We all bleed. We all die.

I judge people by their actions, not mental or physical superiority.

It's just that sometimes some views on NTs by Aspies can be slightly exaggerated. I grew up with NTs, and didn't know any other Aspie at all when I was a child, so I'm the only Aspie I've ever known.
I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia and AS at 8, so I've grown up thinking a lot about it, and carefully observing NTs to compare my behaviour to theirs. I always give NTs a chance, and they must give me a chance, otherwise I wouldn't have the friends I have today.

I just view it as NTs are mostly neutral with most things, and Aspies have ''too much'' or ''too little''. That is what I've figured out. For example, most Autistics don't show enough emotion. I am one who shows too much emotion - which doesn't seem good either, since it hasn't got me anywhere but got people saying things like, ''don't moan!'', ''you're always crying!'', ''you're too worried of other people's feelings!'', and ect. I do worry about other people's feelings. For example, lately I've been lending pc games to people and they seem to be taking ages giving them back, but one of my friends said, ''oh I really feel like playing the Sims 3'', and she said it in such a desperate voice that I kind of thought inwardly to myself, ''ohh I know how it feels when you really feel like playing something you haven't played for ages and ages'', so I said yes. Most other people would just say, ''no I don't want to lend any more of my games'', regardless of how much the other person might really want to have it.
So yes, Aspies usually have human traits to the extreme (either too much or too little), where most NTs stay on the line, although some may go a little over the line, but not enough to fit the Autistic criteria.