Am I too social to have AS?

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I do have lots of trouble with eye contact, body language, and other social skills, but I am very social in a weird way. I want to be around people all the time, and I'm very affectionate. I have lots of acquaintances, but not so many close friends. I seem to have two modes of social interaction: extreme awkwardness, or silliness/eccentric behavior. It's the silliness and eccentric behavior that have won me acquaintences over the years. In fact, I'm sort of a celebrity in some social circles. The silliness is just not practical in many settings, though. I have to be very comfortable with people in order to use that mode of interaction. I also sometimes feel that I'm just making a fool of myself, and that people don't take me seriously. It certainly hasn't won me many dates, but neither has awkwardness. I also have this feeling of being a child, even though I'm 25. I use the awkward mode around people I consider "adults" and authority figures, or people I'm afraid of, or people who seem too "normal." I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I guess I just wonder if anyone else feels the same way.

I used to use silliness as a mode of communication, until Last Christmas came around. Until Last December, I'd pretend to be Austin Powers when I was around the other Members at my Clubhouse. Than I grew up and found a new Obsession, both for a Christmas Present to myself and because it really was time for me to change.

Can you maintain the social contact for extended periods of time, or do you need to withdraw and have privacy in between? I for one hate being alone but I like distance between the other person and myself. For instance I like being alone in a room if there is someone else in the house but I hate being completely alone in the house. I like to hear the other person's footsteps and movements but don't want them too close (in the same room) at least not all the time. I need contact and distance at the same time. In that sense I am "social" because I don't ever want to be completely alone. But I am also "asocial" as I don't want them near me.

I'm desperately social and downright clingy. I'm just not very good at it.

Wanting or not wanting to be social doesn't have much to do with a diagnosis of AS. It's whether you have the same level of skill at social interaction as the average person your age that makes the difference. (Special interests or stereotypies also factor into the equation.) Some Aspies are very social, but not very good at it; others avoid social interaction because they're not very good at it. Either reaction doesn't change the underlying social difficulties (though practice definitely helps).

Incidentally, people with ADHD are often socially awkward as well; so if you also have impulsivity and a short attention span, then that might be something to look into. (Some people theorize that ADHD is somehow connected to the autism spectrum.) There are also nonverbal learning disabilities out there; that would fit better if social problems were your only difficulty (AS is a "pervasive developmental disorder"--meaning it affects all areas of life).

It's pretty complicated, really; and if you ask ten doctors, most likely you'll get ten different opinions. My advice is to just do whatever's most likely to increase your skills at doing what you need to do to have a good life... easier said than done, but a good goal to aim for.

you described me exactly! I'm 22 and also feel like i'm still a child in many ways. i too can be quite outgoing and silly/eccentric in the right situations, and that's what usually draws people to me in the firstplace. i can only be like this if i am comfortable, like around close friends or in a structured setting like a classroom (where i feel confident). then sometimes i am very shy and awkward, which confuses people i think. I too have had less dates than fingers on my right hand. In either case, i am socially awkward, whether i'm feeling introverted or extroverted. When i first read about AS, i wondered if i really had it because the written accounts make it seem like we can't ever be friendly and outgoing. but i was diagnosed recently and i was right, I definitely have it!

It all really depends on the kind of image you wish to project to others.

Playing the fool can get people to like you.. but they like you playing the fool not who you really are.

Personally I found the best way to deal with social situations is quality over quantity.. I dont say much but when I do its something worth listening to. I also tend to speak (and move) slowly and evenly in a mellow tone (pretty easy since I dont show much emotion anyways) and people seem to like it.. some find me strange but those who arent scared off by it tell me Im a very calming and reassuring presence.. sometimes to my dismay I find complete strangers confiding their secrets in me.. its weird but after all these years its part of who I am.

I was diagnosed with AS when....... Erm, sometine way to long ago to remember.
But I am really social aswell, I'm on summer holiday at the moment, and not being able to see my friends from college is driving me mental... I reckon that no matter what you have different about you, maybe everyones brains still just has the bit in it that wants to talk to people...

AS isn't all about being anti-social. Your social contact can appear inappropriate or unusual instead.

I'm one of the very quiet aspies, but a lot of aspies are quite loud!

Alot of what people are saying is like me too. Amongst close friends and family i'm quite out going and loud, because i'm relaxed and can just be myself. I also get hyper sometimes or get excited about odd things. Amongst others i can be very quite and seem a bit slow. I think people have problems figuring me out. I also think if they give me a chance they find out i'm quite nice and friendly....as long as i don't have to talk for too long and have quiet time inbetween socialising so i don't go crazy

I also have problems with 'grownups' and i'm 27!!
I used to work with kids and socialising with them was fine, however talking to their parents was really hard!

I recently talked with a counsellor about the possibility that my child might have AS. This counsellor does autism assessments for a huge geographical region. The counsellor told me that one of the signs of having AS is that an AS child will NEVER EVER make friends.

WRONG!

My aspie partner is extremely social. He talks to people with ease and has no trouble at all making friends. He was institutionalized as a child because of his autism, and he could be a poster boy for HFA. And yet he is very very social.

I am also HFA and always had a few friends until I became much more reclusive a few years ago, but nothing like my gabby social out going HFA spouse.

At some point I am going to talk to the counsellor about her textbook view of autism and how her strict adherence to certain stereotypical criteria in a diagnosis might be doing a disservice to an entire community. But I didn't want to make the counsellor think I was resistant to any therapy she might propose. I think I will have to handle this one very diplomatically.

But yes! Aspies can be very social.

The likes of Dhanlow and Comet Girl are very social, and yet they are still autistic sp****cs.