Is this a game or an introspecive excercise?

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I suppose it could be either, depending on your current mood. I suppose it could be an annoyance depending on your current mood. Take it however you like:

I was just thinking, as we are prone to do. Over the past few moments I've been in kind of a goofy mood, and it got me thinking about Asperger's and moods. We're often referred to as kind of "moody." While I understand kind of why, I've never quite fully understood this, because I never really feel "moody." I think the discrepancy between how others see us, and how we see ourselves has been a big part of why so many of us are often misdiagnosed with things like depression among other things.

I don't really want to get too deep into this, because I tend to get lost in tangled thinking whenever I do, but while I was thinking about this, I made a list in my head of the five most common "moods" in tend to find myself in. Then I thought about whether people who know me well would list the same things, or if their list be different from my own. Here's my list:

1) "Even keel" (It's my own terminology for the state of mind I'm usually in. Somewhat in deep thought, but not so deep I'm totally unaware of what's going on around me. Focused, but aware that other things need to be done too. Aware of the time, checking the clock from time to time, ready to switch gears as soon as is absolutely necessary. Not overly happy, not sad, not angry, not anything in particular, just "getting things done.")

2) "Sharing" (In the mood to share something I've thought of while in the first mood.)

3) "Nutty" (In the mood to joke around, usually with silly puns, and who knows what other odd styles of humor most folks give me odd look for, and none of it bothers me.

4) "Annoyed" (Usually because something or someone is interfering with the above three moods. I'm often annoyed by extraneous noise that mucks up my thinking process, but the thing that annoys me more than anything else is negative vibes from others when I am currently in what I consider to be a good mood. I HATE people dragging me down into cesspools of negative talk and thinking.)

5) "Melancholy" (While a lot of people I know equate this with feelings associated with depression, I think of Melancholy more as a retrospective kind of mood. I might be thinking of places where I grew up, feeling a little homesick and strong urges to go visit the area, or thinking of things I've always wanted to do but never have. I don't feel as if I'm sad when I'm like this. It just feels like a normal place I need to go once in a while.)

That's my list. The way I see how I feel most of the time, from 1 (most of the time) to 5 (least).

But when I think about how people who know me well would list my moods, this is what I surmise they would probably come up with:

1) Irritable. Easily annoyed.

2) Excitable and too talkative.

3) Too quite.

4) Angry

5) Inexplicably jovial.

Clearly this is just my perspective of how others view me, but if I were to think about it for a while, I think it says something about me. Do others really view me this way, or is it some level of my own paranoia that causes me to think they do? I don't know. It might be something interesting to think about sometime, but I'm in mood number 1 right now, so I don't want to get too distracted by thinking too much about it right now.

I guess it kind of goes along with the question, "Am I just who I am, or do I spend too much time conforming to what others think I should be like, or is it just what I think they think I should be like?"

I was wondering if any of you have similar lists. It doesn't have to have five moods. I don't care how many or how few.

Have you ever thought much about whether your own list would look like lists from others that truly know you well?

What do you think their list would look like compared to yours?

Does it make you think? (Not that I'm asking for a lot of introspection about it. I'm really just wondering if this is a good game or exercise that might help us learn a little about ourselves.)

Let's see your lists! From both perspectives. Guess at the second one if you have to.

Mr Xxx - can I first say that I have enjoyed many of your postings on this board.

Now ... moods. Moods are funny things. My psychiatrist asked me recently "Have you been feel more down than normal recently?". And I couldn't answer so I said "I don't know". He said "What do you mean, you don't know?". I explained that I only really identified three ways that I feel:

1. OK
2. Happy
3. Frustrated

The psychiatrist, of course, looked at me oddly and took copious amounts of notes.

So working with this list, from my perspective:

1. OK - this is how I feel most of the time. Just OK. I can only really identify this as "not happy" and "not frustrated". It seems OK to me. I'm usually feeling quiet, don't express very much because there is no need, and just get on with life.

2. Happy - I know when I'm happy because I have loads of energy which I expend by jumping, skipping as I walk, running in circles, "pumping" my arms and being generally physical, and I can even become quite talkative in this mood - but I speak fast and my train of thought jumps around a lot.

3. Frustrated - I feel this when some form of communication has led to me being misunderstood or people have misinterpreted my actions. Unfortunately, this happens quite a lot. I get very wound up, I may engage in self-harm, I may cry a lot, I may shut down and not be able to do anything, and now I'm learning "to vent" (in voice I only do this with my husband, but I do by text and email to a couple of other people, and of course this forum is also a good place).

From other people's perspective I think these moods appear as (using the way that people have described me as a guide):

1. Serious, depressed, calm
2. Over excited, annoying, fun, silly
3. Overemotional, over-sensitive, inexplicably angry

It is clear from these words that different people see my moods differently depending on how they generally feel about me.

This is an interesting topic. I have realized in the past that the mood people think I am in is generally not the mood I am really in. When I was younger, people would often ask me what was wrong, or whether I was angry or feeling ill, when in fact I was fine.

The moods I am in the most often are:

1) OK. This seems to be a mood that we all have in common. The vast majority of the time, I am neither happy nor sad. I am calm and quiet, usually reading, doing schoolwork, or browsing the internet. I spend at least 20 out of 24 hours a day by myself, and this is the mood that I am most often in when I am by myself.

2) Hyper/Excited. This is a mood that I sometimes go into when I am watching a new episode of a favorite TV show, listening to a favorite song, or playing a favorite game. I will laugh and clap loudly, and talk as though there were other people in the room that were sharing the experience with me (although I am nearly always by myself when I go into this mood). I rarely allow myself to get hyper when I am around other people, because it is embarrassing.

3) Frustrated/Stressed. This is a mood that I go into occasionally when I am triggered by one of my sensory issues, when I am in a large group of people and don't have the energy to deal with it, or when someone says or does something that really bothers me. I become impatient and will voice my frustrations to friends or acquaintances, if any are nearby. Because I spend so much time alone, I am not in this mood very often. When I am in this mood, it usually goes away shortly after I remove myself from the situation or person that is causing it.

4) Anxious/Shy/Lack of Confidence. This is a mood that I go into sometimes around other people when I am not angry and my sensory issues have not been aggravated, but I am still uncomfortable for some reason. Rather than voice my frustrations, I become very shy and quiet.

5) Sad/Pessimistic. This is a mood that I go into sometimes when I am by myself and I have become discouraged thinking about my current situation, my future, etc...It usually does not last very long, and I never actually cry or show physical displays of emotion. It is all on the inside.

6) Extreme Depression/Burnout. This is a mood that I go into very rarely when I am in extreme emotional distress. I cry frequently, have trouble eating and sleeping, and cannot be around other people. I have only had a few periods of burnout in my entire life.

So overall, the majority of the time I am OK. When I am around other people I am either OK, Shy, or Frustrated.

But I have a feeling that other people would describe me as Angry/Sad all of the time, because they are not used to people being so quiet and inexpressive when they are feeling OK. Also, those few people who have seen me in my Hyper/Excited mood might possibly think that I am bi-polar.

This is interesting.

So far, though there aren't that many responses yet, I'm not surprised at all.

I feel like all three of us have given nearly the same list, with slightly different wording, but effectively almost identical in both how we see ourselves and how we think others see us.

Anyone else care to take a stab at this?