Lost...Maybe Asperger's, Need Advice

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Bear with me, as this may be long......
I have struggled with something all my life. I have never been able to determine what it is, and multiple doctors have never given me a clear diagnosis. I hope someone here can tell me if Asperger's Syndrome is the key to all of this. First let me say that I am 25, and lead a fairly normal life. I am married, own a home, have a good career. But I have always known that I was different.
From about the time I was ten, I have struggled with many things, but the worst of them is the obsessive hobbies. I jump from interest to interest, sometimes these obsessions last for months, sometimes days, sometimes hours. I do not just show interest, I envelop myself in these hobbies. There have been to many to list, but some include astronomy, computers, exercise, fly fishing, star wars, etc. Every time a new one begins, I immerse myself in books or magazines related to the topic, sometimes buying a new book/mag every day. I spend large sums of money on the hobby, at the expense of everything else, only to move to another interest the next day. The hobby becomes all I can think about, even talk about. I find a need to lecture to others on it, (lately i find myself trying to explain Einstein theories of relativity to people who just dont care.) Throughout my adolescence, and high school careers, I was a loner, with no true friends, who just could not seem to fit in anywhere. I had a fascination with fantasy worlds, and would spend my weekends entertaining myself with whatever the current hobby was.
Sometime around my eighteenth birthday, I began to learn how to adjust to others. I made friends, got a girlfriend, went to college, was somewhat popular, drank alot of alcohol, experimented with drugs, had many friends, even joined a fraternity. But late into my freshman year, I experienced horrible anxiety attacks, and deep depression. I was put on Zoloft and diagnosed with anxiety attack disorder and depression. The hobby obsessions started to strike again, and only got worse with each passing year. Though I have been able to hide them from most, many of my roomates in college caught on, and even ridiculed me about it. My family and wife acknowledge the problem, but just indulge me. But I feel lost, and disgusted with my inability to control my obsessive personality.
I have always been intelligent, placed in advanced school programs, and graduated college with a fairly good GPA. But I did so with very little work, because I could never focus on school. I was always much more interested in tackling books of my choosing, not the ones given to me.I was always an english buff (my degree is in English), and wrote fantastical novellas as young as 12. I have always been obsessed with Science Fiction/Fantasy novels, and have spent many days and nights lost in make believe worlds.
I have endured many diagnoses, and treatments, including bipolar, anxiety disorder, and ADD. I have endured treatments with numerous drugs, but none have helped me.
Please, someone tell me if this sounds like Asperger's syndrome. If so, where do I go for help?
I want to find some answers.......

The obsession thing definitely sounds like asperger's. I certainly can relate to that.

" But I have always known that I was different.
From about the time I was ten, I have struggled with many things, but the worst of them is the obsessive hobbies. I jump from interest to interest, sometimes these obsessions last for months, sometimes days, sometimes hours. I do not just show interest, I envelop myself in these hobbies. There have been to many to list, but some include astronomy, computers, exercise, fly fishing, star wars, etc. Every time a new one begins, I immerse myself in books or magazines related to the topic, sometimes buying a new book/mag every day. I spend large sums of money on the hobby, at the expense of everything else, only to move to another interest the next day. The hobby becomes all I can think about, even talk about. I find a need to lecture to others on it, (lately i find myself trying to explain Einstein theories of relativity to people who just dont care.) Throughout my adolescence, and high school careers, I was a loner, with no true friends, who just could not seem to fit in anywhere. I had a fascination with fantasy worlds, and would spend my weekends entertaining myself with whatever the current hobby was. "

Sounds a lot like me! And it's a problem how?....

Instead of hiding your hobbies and being ashamed of them - which WILL lead people to either mock you or "indulge" you --- and certainly instead of seeking treatment after treatment after treatment for having them! ---

Indulge them!

Write your science fiction! Join the local sf club and go to the local sf cons! Send the stuff to publishers and zines! Display the creative stuff! List the special knowledge you have accumulated on the brag list on your resume!

Good grief ... you're getting a hard time for being a polymath rather than (pardon the Harry Potter reference) a Hufflepuff?

You have a good career and all that ... only you know whether or not you need treatment, but if it's for "all this weird abnormal stuff" ... forget it.

["Thank you, Herr Freud." "You're welcome, Frau Einstein. Ve vill make liddle Albert normal yet!"]

The Grey Badger,

who really needs to get back to writing.

*seconds everything that TheGreyBadger said*

Oh, the time it takes for it all to sink in...

The problem with Asperger's (and there are always drawbacks to anything) is that you feel disconnected from those around you, like you speak a different dialect than they do. (Stop me when this doesn't apply to you anymore...) And Neurotypicals (those without these issues) do tend to ostracize those who are different, even if they can't put their finger on what it is that makes you different from them. It took me a very long while before I could relax enough to not worry about being accepted, but it does kind of limit my friends, and they're more than likely to be a little off-kilter. Losing the self-esteem issues may not make you necessarily less lonely, but it will make things easier to deal with. Rejoice in your idiosyncracies! If you do have Asperger's, there are high points as well as low, and most of us (that I've talked to, anyway) would rather keep things off-kilter than be "cured", because the high points make you so much more of an individual. Once you realize that you don't need to be "part of a tribe", it's a lot easier to deal with. Notice I did not say easy...

For the most part it is a sad and lonely road being an Aspie. People don't understand you, so they just put it down to you being a freak and generally leave you out of things, as it is easier. I have obsessions that I can spend a lot of money on, but sometimes it is only my obessessions and fantasy world that gets me up in the morning. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have them to take my mind of so called reality.

Hello and welcome

I'm fairly new here too (and only recently realized that I'm Aspie)

Like you I also get obsessively interested in things and most of the time the obsession does not last. With me, when I'm into an obsession, it takes over. From first thing in the morning, until last thing at night it's all I want to do. For me it has been writing; painting; psychology; fact finding on various subjects; occasionally people. Fortunately most of my obsessions so far have been inexpensive. Some have even developed into real, long lasting interests.

Is this a problem ? Well it would probably be fine if I were single and/or unemployed – but I'm not. I'm a wife and a mother and I have very little time indeed to indulge in my obsessions. (And before this I had very little time because I had a full time job as a software developer) But they're still there, nagging at me. This makes me feel pretty guilty, as quite often I find myself thinking about the current obsession when I really should be paying attention to something else. Like when my hubby is telling me something which I'm not particularly interested in, I quite often find that I drift off into obsession-world and five minutes later realize that I haven't got a clue what he just said, I've just gone 'ummm, uh hu' nod head etc.

I can understand your depression – I've spent most of my life trying to fit in, failing and hating myself for it, but felt too ashamed to tell anyone. I've only recently started to come to terms with who I am.

The way that I deal with it (and it might work for you) is to:
set a limit on the amount of time spent on your interests
set a budget for your interests and keep to it
remember that there are other people like you – it's not your fault it's just the way you are

Just maybe

I think most people on this site would identify with obsessiv4e interests, its very common here. I myself have spent most of my life immersed in fantasy worlds, creating races, languages, scripts, songs, poetry etc. all based around these places that just don't exist. But then i also want to be a writer and these worlds will be the bases of books and stories which i hope will get published.
Other interests i've had have been a lot less useful of course. But hey, at least i have a whole list of use facts to wow people with!!
Only you can tell what's best for you own health and happiness. Do your interests make you happy? Is it other peoples reactions to them that upset you? If your thinking aboutr having AS do you have any of the other symptoms, sensory problems, social issues, etc.
You can easily use the net to check it out and see what you think.

Good luck

Hi jflo, and welcome.

I'm not a doctor, but what you describe certainly could be Asperger's.

A Psychologist can diagnose Asperger's Syndrome.

Your difficulty concentrating may be ADD, which can occur with AS.

Obsessive interests are very common in AS, but I don't see them as a bad thing. They give us something to focus on, and can be something to base a career around. It sounds like at times your interests have crossed the line and become completely uncontrollable - only then does it become OCD, which is a treatable condition. I might be wrong here, it may be that you're feeling so down about yourself that you feel this is worse than it is.

Asperger's in itself cannot be cured. You can learn coping skills to use in situations that you find hard, but if you do have AS, you will always have AS. But don't let this scare you. AS is not a bad thing. AS does not make you unhappy. It's external influences that do that. The depression, anxiety and (possible) OCD are the things you want to treat, and understanding the root of them will make them easier to treat. Counselling and therapy can help, but the therapist needs to understand the different way you think. Medications can also help, but if you take antidepressants, it's useful to note that most people with autism respond well to very low doses, and higher doses have a negative effect.

It's difficult to come to terms with being different. I first heard about Asperger's 2 years ago, and was diagnosed in May 2006. Now I am beginning to feel more contented with the way I am. I feel less concerned by other people's opinion of me, knowing that Asperger's gives me certain qualities that they lack. I was depressed from age 14, but understanding my Asperger's has made a huge difference to the way I feel. I can't say it's completely gone now, it's been so long that it's going to take time, but I feel so much happier, and content with the way I am.

I can relate to this.. Ive been depressed off and on most of my 26 years but since I recently realized that the "stranger in a strange land" feeling Id had all my life was explainable and had a name things have improved a lot.

Just knowing Im not the only one really cheered me up.

I can relate to this. I'm 14 and am suffering with mild depression. It's getting to me now. I know its not completely gone, but in general how long did your depression last for?

I'm 25 now, and I feel like I am well on the way to recovering from my depression.

But your depression is going to be different from mine.

I did not get any treatment for it until I was 18.
When I did get treatment, it was mostly in the form of medications, which do not work for me.
I moved house a lot and never kept up with the same counsellor.
All my counsellors advised me to get out more and make new friends - this is not really compatible with my AS.
I did not suspect I had AS until I was 23 (diagnosed at 24).
I also had some physical health problems aged 20-24 which added to my depression.

If you are feeling depressed, I strongly recommend you talk to someone about it, and try to get help from a counsellor or therapist who understands Asperger's. If you treat it early, you stand the best chance of making a quick recovery.

I think he's got Asperger's. Sounds very much like my own childhood and adolecense. But he can be very happy: successful schooltime, married, kids. Many of us never get to use our intelligence, many never get a job (except for unworthy, humiliating ones), rarely or never ever have sex with another human being, and absolutely not get married and get children. Except for the depression, he's got no real reason to complain.

jflo, you are probably an aspie and probably a successful one. You have no reason at all to change your way of living. Have you ever tried amphetamine or Adderall for your difficulties with focusing? In many contries it's extremely hard to get that treatment, but you're American, right? In the US, it's very easy to obtain central stimulants (CS).

I have, myself, asked my idiots to doctors to prescribe it for me, but they need a special prescription license for that here in Sweden and it's not common treatment for "only" Asperger's, only for ADD/ADHD and only for people under 18, not for grown up people(!) (there are a very few exceptions, though). I have considered turning myself directly to professor Gillberg, one of the worlds greatest experts on Asperger's, who I happen to live in the very same county as, but what if he rejects my wish or even rejects to see me? What then? Despite all, you're a happy guy.

I had a long period of my life when I didn't have any obsession - and you know what? I missed it. I've got it back now and loving every moment of my obesessive life.

You're pobably aspergers, embrace it, don't fight it.