loneliness

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As I sat around contemplating myself the other day I was able to distill a number of feelings down to a pretty basic level.

Simply stated...I have an intense sense of loneliness but almost no desire at all to be with or around people. This seems counter-intuitive to me but the feeling is clear.

Anyone else relate to this?

Youtube videos/tv/movies/etc usually help me with this. For some reason the simulated human interaction seems to take the edge off.

Some people seem to get this with pets, though I can't say I do myself.

I can relate to this.

I have found that, for me, if I can get over my fear of the social situation (just "do it", jump into it so to speak) and I can find people who aren't devious (who I don't detect malice or deception or meanness from) then my desire to be with people increases greatly.

Getting over the fear is hard. I need to find a location I am comfortable with and then will myself to go to the social situation.

Finding people who don't suck is harder.

Last edited by haruka on 28 Jun 2011, 3:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

shure. i can relate, ive never been so wacked out of my mind though due to depression to commit a crime agaisnt someone or myself. the one time i had a flipout in my early/mid 20's and was hospitilized i just remember how bad it was in there and quickly snapped out of my funky ass mood because that will be the last time i'm ever playing that game again in there

having a good attitude helps me because it really is the best medacine

Last edited by richardbenson on 28 Jun 2011, 3:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

http://www.google.co.nz/url?sa=t&source ... Vw&cad=rja

http://www.hermitary.com/

Yup, I avoid people and then feel lonely. I don't want to go out with people because I can't just leave when it get overwhelming, in case it's rude or in case the people are being their version of "nice" and insisting I stay, physically holding onto me and buying me drinks etc. to make me stick around. It's nice to be liked I suppose, but it's just so complicated getting out of there without resorting to saying something like "I feel sick" in which case they all start to worry and fuss and it makes things worse...

I only go out if my boyfriend is in the country and can come with me, because he can get me out of there much better being non-autistic and very, very good with people, and at the very least he can give me deep pressure on my hands and arms and remind me to do relaxing techniques until we can get out of there. I have given up on nightclubs and on most pub outings because even if I last the night, the overload might hit me the following day instead.

I relate to this a lot. I have a few pictures of people that I think highly of and I take these with me when I am in the car or in my room, and I "talk" to them. Sometimes that helps, but I still get really lonely. :/

Maybe...I experience two kinds of loneliness. One is related to wanting to actually interact with people--to spend time with them. I only feel this on occasion, because I like spending time alone and don't feel the need to spend a lot of time with others.

The second kind is related to "connection" with another person, where it doesn't really matter if I talk to/interact with someone or not--it's all about understanding another person and being understood by them. This kind of loneliness is something I feel more often.

That's exactly how I feel most of the time but it makes perfect sense to me. Being around people or with people doesn't ease the loneliness. Usually when I'm around people I feel even more isolated. I lack real connection to anyone, I feel alien and fake. Seeing everyone else interacting only intensifies my own feelings of "not belonging".
Socializing feels good sometimes but for me it works only as a distraction from loneliness. Not a solution. It also sustains the hope to find that someone to connect with.
Either way, when loneliness gets really intense I tend to avoid people because the feeling gets too strong for me to be able to get distracted from and hope... Well hope just hurts.

I feel pretty anxious about trying to meet people here. I've had a 5 year run of disappointments.

Yes.

Yes, this is how I feel.

The internet helps me (with forums like this one, heh!), along with as someone else said, pets and movies/books/etc.

I don't believe I've ever experienced the former. If I have, it's extremely rare. The latter I experience occasionally, like once a month or so. It kinda explains how I can have no real life friends and still keep my sanity. Although some people might say I was never sane to begin with, but that's a whole different story.

I can relate, most of the time I don't notice how lonely I am and if given the choice I prefer solitude. Even if I'm currently hanging out with people I sometimes can't wait to be alone again.

I prefer to be alone most of the time, but I do not particularly hate interacting with people, at least until I get overwhelmed. I have an idea about loneliness, although usually my social angst is about wanting to talk about a specific person about a specific thing. I don't really think that counts.

I dislike being alone for long periods of time, I get a sort of cabin fever if left alone. However too much socializing and I want some me time. I don't think I could be a hermit but I also don't think I could be a celebrity either