Weird eye contact thing

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I've noticed a strange thing about eye contact. At least in this country, there is the 3 second rule. I've been told that about 3 seconds of eye contact is what is expected before people think you are staring. I'm not so good at the normal type of eye contact, especially if I have to think about what I'm saying. I prefer no eye contact at all when I have to consider my next words.

But a strange thing I've noticed is that at times people can't maintain eye contact with me. This only happens when my inner self bridges to the outer world and I "turn on". Then I am very intense and people will IMMEDIATELY disengage their eye contact.

Very weird.

The 3 second rule is interesting.....never knew that!

I've never quite understood why intensity freaks people out--wouldn't your intensity make you easier to read and understand? .... Maybe they can't share your intensity or something, so they look away because they can't understand what you're "saying" with your eyes and therefore can't reciprocate it?

What you say reminds me of how sometimes I wonder if some people stop trying to make eye contact with me if I start having a real conversation with them--I might glance at someone every so often (definitely not for three seconds) and usually I see the other person looking at me every time....but occasionally there is a shift and I start seeing that said person seems to be looking anywhere but at me. I've never known why this happens. I wonder if it's in any way similar to what you describe.

just avoid it altogether. it's too much trouble. works for me.

It takes a lot of practice. No eye-contact and people think you hide something or are shy. Too much eye-contact and you are deemed staring or a pervert or something.