How are you?

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I HATE this question! Why do NT's ask this??? You aren't asking this to get an honest answer, you're asking for a cheerful answer. Here's why I never answer this question: "How are you?" "Well, I'm suicidally depressed, I'm about to lose my apartment. I'm probably going to be homeless in a few weeks." "Wow. Okay, bye." Why would you ask me a question if you don't want an honest answer? If there's one thing I can't stand is how NT's say things they don't mean. Society would be SO much better if we just said what we meant. Is that so hard?

I can't stand pleasantries too...My head goes jump straight to the topic already please all the time I hear a hi nice hairdo blah blah....

I've learned to ask it (in writing), but it is hard to answer.

I don't know why, but it is hard to answer. I know I'm just supposed to say "I'm good, thanks" but it can really be hard to get the words out, especially if it's unexpected. I just want to either say nothing at all or tell them how stupid they are for asking.

I say "I'm good thankyou and how are you?" to be polite but honestly I'd rather say "ok, I don't want to talk right now" small talk annoys me!

This question was actually one of the things that started me on the path to figuring out that my differences from other people might be attributable to Asperger's. I mentioned my dislike of this question to an NT co-worker and she looked at me like "there is something wrong with you" and said "you're not supposed to think about it. You're just supposed to say "fine, thanks" and go on with your life." We had known each other for a while and got along pretty well so I guess she felt comfortable and went on to say (in the voice a mother uses to speak to a child who doesn't understand) "You know, that's why so many people think you are kind of odd and don't try to talk to you--you wayoverthink things and you come out with the weirdest responses sometimes. And you're always so serious. Try smiling once in a while!" I knew from past experience with this woman that she wasn't trying to be mean, she was trying to help, but what she said really made me think about things even more. Well, I've said enough but a lot of introspection and study later, here I am on WP.

I say ''how are you'' too. It's just a friendly gesture, rather than just saying, ''hello'', then nothing else.

I say "How are you" but I really don't think of it as a pleasantry at all. Lots of forms of communication use this sort of thing, look at the TCP internet protocol, one computer sends a SYN (synchonize) message to the second computer, which then sends a SYN-ACK (synchronize-acknowledge) message back, then the first computer sends an ACK mesage (acknowledge) to finish establishing the connection. I mean, sure no one really cares how you are but that is not really the purpose of the question. Look:

Person 1: "How are you?" (SYN)
Person 2: "Well, you?" (SYN-ACK)
Person 1: "I'm well." (ACK)

All this does is ensure that a reliable two-way connection has been established in which each party can clearly communicate to the other. In the computer world, if this SYN-ACK protocol fails, either of the clients would know that communication wasn't clearly established and it would be pointless to send data. Maybe its easier to think of it in terms of a phone conversation, if the phone line is of particularly bad quality this "How are you" protocol would sort out the problem before someone wastes time telling the other person something that they can't actually hear.

But yeah, no one really wants a drawn out answer to "How are you" it is just a protocol for establishing that both people are ready and able to carry on a conversation.

...At least that is how I justify it...

All I can think of saying in these types of situations is either, "I'm alright" or, "I'm good, thanks". But honestly neither of those statements convey how I really feel most of the time when talking to another person. Most of the time what I feel is hard to put into words.

I usually do not know what to say to that, so I might just say good or alright, what is even more annoying though is when people ask that when they are just walking by you and don't even plan on staying around for any response...I mean by the time I respond they would already be gone so that is stupid to me.