Frustrated

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Hi. Sorry to blast right in like this with a massive essay...

I don't know if I have an ASD or not, but I'd sure appreciate some views from some of you. I've always been a loner and had trouble making or sustaining conversation, but I have, on the whole, coped and lived a 'normal' life. I'm 31 now, and have successfully (though always nervously) held positions managing teams and dealing with new clients every day for several years. But recently my real career dream started to come true - I sold a screenplay - and my inability to communicate is becoming more and more of a problem. In this business, I'm supposed to network and make contacts and promote myself, as well as contributing to in-depth phone discussions about the script. I'm failing to make myself understood, I'm misunderstanding others, and sometimes I just simply can't answer questions put to me, even though I've thought it through beforehand and I know exactly what I want to say in advance.

I have great difficulty understanding what people are saying when there is background noise. I have great difficulty understanding people with strong accents. (I've had my hearing tested and it's perfect.)
I have to ask people to repeat themselves a lot. If they're telling me something complex, I often need them to tell me slowly, step by step. I very often tune out when people are talking to me.
I often feel isolated in a crowd, like I'm locked inside myself and unable to break out. I don't know how to socialise. I'm no good at making conversation or knowing what to say. (Alcohol often helps, but not always.)
Although I can express myself very well in writing and have no trouble at all with written language, I fail to find the right words when speaking, especially when asked a question or put on the spot in any way.
I'm very uncomfortable speaking on the telephone, and prefer written communication.
Although I love researching and learning new things on my own initiative, I cannot learn things I'm not interested in. I have an obsessive personality, in that when I'm focussed on one thing, I don't get anything else done. But I switch around a lot.

I don't have any problems interpreting facial expressions or tones of voice, nor understanding emotions.
I don't have any preoccupation with numbers/patterns/dates and I'm not a creature of habit or schedule (although I do get pretty pissed when a plan goes wrong or something unexpected gets in my way).
I don't have any fixation with specific objects (although I have always been the type to bond very tightly to one person - one guy or one best friend).
I don't have any repetitive physical movements. I'm a little clumsy, but I'm not sure this could be interpreted as abnormal. I rock a little I guess, but doesn't everyone?
I don't have any trouble or fear communicating with my husband (although I do tune out on him a lot, which makes me feel terrible).

I've been reading about auditory processing disorder recently and I'm wondering about this too, but someone told me it could also be a symptom of autism.

I've also been reading up on dealing with autism as an adult, but I'm not finding anything helpful. I don't need a carer or supervised accomodation. I don't need help finding a job. What I need is to know how to communicate better, and how to tell my producer, when I can't answer his questions, it's not because I'm thick.

Do I need to see a doctor? Will actually getting a diagnosis help me in any way?

I'd really appreciate the views and advice of people who know more about this than I do, and are maybe experiencing some of the same things. Does this sound like autism, or something(s) else?

Thanks.