Aspies and auties in pubs or restaurants

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Hi All
Does anyone else experiece these problems?
In a group setting say at a restaurant or pub I cannot blend my conversation easily as I cannot disentangle what an individual person saying if there is a number of people speaking at once where everyone else finds it easy. They usually have to shout even though there is nothing wrong with my ears because I cannot stand distractions of other noises such as music if it means I have to listen and be part of the conversation. Either that I just prefer to listen to the music and not be a part of the social group at it all.

Paul

Last edited by paulsinnerchild on 30 Aug 2006, 1:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

I know exactly what you mean. Even the slightest distraction will throw me off.

Sometimes my Dad will be talking to me from the other side of the table and I won't take in a single thing he says because I'm doing something with my food or listening to the TV - it drives him up the wall.

That's me exactly.

One to one conversation is OK. Two or three others, in a quiet room, is a bit more difficult but possible. In a pub, with background chit-chat and music – is practically impossible. I usually end up saying nothing and looking either shy or stupid.

Amen to everything above.

Yep.

That sounds like CAPD (central auditory processing disorder) or sensory integration (or processing) dysfunction. There was a thread about that a couple of days ago.

Yeah, I have trouble processing conversations going on at the same time, too... focusing on multiple things like that, they all just blend together.

I don't have great hearing, though--mine's on the low end of normal. It was OK when I was a little kid, so I figure it was probably from all the times my stepdad smacked me in the head and yelled right into my ears (bullies don't have to be classmates, y'know).

I wonder if that procesing thing would be better or worse if I had good hearing?

On that other thread (http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.htm ... c&p=279390) there were a few people with hearning problems, and they didn't seem really worse off than the well hearing ones.

My wife is like this, to a degree and yet I'm the autie. I'm really the opposite. I'm capable of carrying on several conversations at once. That runs in my family on my mom's side (They all do this. I suspect my mom is also aspie along with her dad). I do it with books too, I always have 6 or 7 books going at once.

Processing minutia is what I do best. I have scary good hearing and I can also hyperfocus on a conversation several tables away, through all the noise at a restuarant, and eavesdrop or whatever on anybody's conversation. Sometimes it's involuntary, because of the character of the people's voices or intensity of their expressions, which draws me in. I laugh at their jokes and sometimes laughter doesn't fit the conversation at our table. <:rolling eyes:> Oh well...

I think it is fairly normal for anyone with a spectrum disorder to be susceptible to these problems. I think it stems from an inability to prioritise sensory information, often this also includes vision.

My dad is always telling me to tune out background noises, but I don’t think he appreciates it is impossible for some people.

brah let me tell you something, i never never get my beer (when i have money) from the bar. beers are like $3.50 a piece now this is 2001 prices so im sure they have gone up considerably. its just not a smart idea/ plus why go if your just going to have a hard time meeting girls????

My mother told me four years ago this happens to everybody. She said when there is a group of people and they're all talking, you only hear part of it because of the noise in the background.
It was real confusing because Laine Holliday Willey mentioned it in her book and it's an aspie thing she said but my dad says it happens to him too and my mother tells me it happens to everybody. What's the difference between us doing it and NTs.

I find myself straining my ears to listen hard and try to tune out the background noise. It is real frustrating. When there is noise at the table and I’m trying to listen, I yell at them to be quiet. I do that with the TV and radio too and my parents do the same also. Perhaps they’re on the spectrum too? I have suspected my mom is probably on it but is still an NT because she isn’t even close for a diagnoses. She is an NT with aspie traits.

I wouldn’t dispute this, but aspies probably struggle more than most.

I wouldn’t be surprised if many people miss half a conversation but don’t care or piece it together with bits of information they make up in their own mind. People usually talk a load of rubbish anyway, so would doing this matter?

Following a thread is only half the problem. The other half is the energy it takes to decode it all. It turns things which should be a relaxation into something which is very tiresome. It’s like doing another 8 hours at work.

I have scarily good hearing. You know those ultrasonic pulse cat repellent thingummiebobs? My dad brought one the other day and I could actually hear it - my dad and bro couldn't understand why I wouldn't stay in the same room with it. I went to the next room- could still hear it. Shut the door- could still hear it. I had to turn the T.V. on then I couldn't hear it anymore. But I had the problems you described above. In Devon, Mum's sizzler didn't help.

I usually just sigh in frustration after a while and proclaim to the entire table "I cant understand a thing any of you are saying in here Im sorry".

At that point they either decide to go someplace more quiet or at least understand why Im not being sociable and apologize after we leave.

People are suppose to be able to pick up someone's speech even when several are talking. If you hear but don't comprehend it is CAPD. If you can not distinguish the sounds then it is hearing loss. That is the number one reason people need hearing aids and is the first kind of hearing loss people notice...not being able to understand conversation in a crowded restaurant. I ended up with hearing aids at age 35, yeah I know not cool, but I can at least hear in restaurants and other crowded places now. I never realized how many people live with hearing loss until my audiologist told me how many people refuse to believe that they can't hear.