Being ignored.

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Does anyone else feel as though they're often ignored in society? I don't socialize much, except on online forums. I belong to quite a few and like to state my opinions.
I don't just write stupid replies, or type in unreadable txting language ( or just: lulz, rofl, lmao as a reply), yet I still feel as though I'm being ignored by NT.
It has put me off even replying, I study the topic that's going on, I read everyone's replies and sense a clique forming between several people and suddenly it's like school all over again.

I am jealous by how flawless some people interact with each other, they can joke and even offend others without sounding cruel, if that makes sense?
I know I need to get over that, and just accept the fact I'm probably never going to interact with people in the same way, but it does hurt sometimes when you carefully type out a long and thoughtful reply only to be completely ignored.

Although if you say something controversial, they're at you like a pack of wild animals.

(this post has nothing at all to do with this forum, the atmosphere here is completely different)

Yup, had this happen on a few major automotive blogs I used to comment on (Jalopnik and Hooniverse, for those who have heard of them). I eventually quit posting there and found other things I was interested in and places where my opinion and ability to dissect an issue were appreciated.

I've felt the same way; for example, when I played (and was obsessed with) World of Warcraft years ago, I sensed the same things as you.

WrongPlanet is one of the few online forums where I regularly post these days.

it's because we dont know the line between making jokes and saying things we shouldnt. it's because we cant get into others' minds and understand what makes them tick, and therefore understand what they would like and what interests them, so we dont know what, and how, to post in order to get lots of replies.
i feel the same way. i have the same problem.
love your picture, by the way.

In other words, we don't know how to appease? Then what's the point of the forum in the first place if everyone's going to agree? Or disagree but only along "accepted" lines? Seems to defeat the whole purpose.

Story of my life, both online and off.

I know how this feels.

Yes, I often got that as well. I'd type out a thoughtful reply, edit it carefully, and nobody seems to have read it.

I don't think WP is actually better in this regard than other forums. I felt ignored when I first started posting, but I don't think it's anything personal against me. It looks to me like posters here tend to mostly reply to the OP and ignore other replies - and I rarely start topics, so I'm usually not the OP. On other forums replies to replies (with quotes) seem more common than here. That's not necessarily a good or bad thing, just a different culture, I guess.

I have to agree. facebook is by far the worst. The only thing those people know how to do is post images, cartoons and sayings from other websites and then they expect us to click on "Share". I really hate it when they put conditions on "Share". I also have a neighbor across the alley that completely ignores me and is hateful, until she want something and then it is to gossip about others. When I need a part to fix something I also get ignored. And it goes on and on.


Showing interest in what each other has to say is what makes Wrong Planet such a great place to be. I think the members are really good about replying to many of our posts.

you can always learn how to say things better and usualy if noone listens i either stop talking say something else or make myself heard it's all good in the end. if you just want anyone to listen i could.

Sometimes we, aspies, may be speaking over a general audience's head. We're not showing off that is just how we talk or communicate. Personnally, I sometimes try to discuss more complex, contemporary issues but find many people just would rather talk about sports or the newest TV show.

I know the feeling, I have same experiences.

At first, I didn't pay too much attention to internet interactions, because it's virtual. But then I noticed patterns, and it becomes, as you said "high school all over again".

I'm ignored all the time.

Also, someone trolls me, or provokes me; then I "tease him back", nothing nasty, and the guy/girl takes it VERY very bad and turns Exorcist on me. This happens in real life too many times too.
At first I thought that it was me being awkward, but with time I concluded that people just can get away with things, while I don't.

Last edited by tchek on 19 Jun 2012, 11:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have noticed exactly the same thing! People tend to answer to OP in this forum, but rarely answer to replies, contrary to other forums. I think this is an Aspie trait (we don't "bounce back" in a conversation, we just answer the question, then it's over)

Dang. And all this time I thought it was my own personal little quirk.

So I'm just like other Aspies?

Whodathunkit?

I know what you mean here. I'm always afraid to joke around with other people because of the fear that they might take it the wrong way and I'll end up offending someone or getting in trouble. I remember at my volunteer job the manager and a volunteer there were mucking about, laughing and joking and pulling practical jokes on eachother. The volunteer poured water down the manager's back, and when she saw when the volunteer had done, she looked shocked and angry, but not in a real angry way, it was in a jokey way, and she said, ''you cow!'' but was laughing aswell as though she was enjoying the practical joke, and the volunteers were laughing and she laughed along with them. Nobody was angry at all, it was just all that pretend anger, if you know what I mean. But I knew that if that had been me mucking around with the manager and pulling practical jokes and deciding to pour water down her back, I bet she would have put on a serious ''now, come on, that's gone a bit too far and is actually unacceptable even for a joke'' attitude, and I would of probably got kicked out of the voluntary shop. But popular NTs who have a silly sort of personality seem to get away with these sorts of things, whereas people like me don't, even if I am joking around to the same extent as a popular NT would.

I remember at school when I was about 10, I was put next to a boy and we were mucking about, like nicking eachother's pencils, giggling, teasing eachother in a jokey way, and et cetera. But then I poked him on the head with a pencil, (only lightly, it didn't hurt), and he got real annoyed with me and got up and told the teacher, and I got in trouble, and from then on he didn't like me. And I was like, ''what the f? I was only mucking about.'' And I've seen other kids do more than that when mucking about. I don't get it.

Also on Facebook I see people commenting on eachother's post things saying stuff like ''you f*****g b***h xxxx '' and they just know that they are joking and put back another fake insult. But if I wrote ''you f*****g b***h xxxx '' with plenty of kisses and laughs I bet they would still take it the wrong way and think I'm stirring up trouble.

It's not fair. Where do we go wrong? And I'm good with telling when other people are joking around with me, like if somebody laughed and said ''you're so weird'', I would automatically know that they don't mean it in that way, I read between the lines and know that it's a different way of saying ''I admire your sense of humour'' or something like that (depending on the context). So it's not even as though I take it a different way myself because I know I don't, so when I joke back the joke actually disappears and it gets turned into an insult to other people.

Weird.

Sometimes I feel ignored on online forums and such, but more often I end up attracting negative attention and wishing I would be ignored. I'm accused of being unpleasant, argumentative, rude, when as far as I can see I've done nothing but try to make a joke or get a point across in a perfectly reasonable tone. Sounds like that's a common experience for aspies?
On some forums I seem to have fit in fairly well, though. Maybe their culture was more aspie-friendly, or something... one was based on MBTI type and the other was for fans of an author I liked. I actually met my husband on such a forum, and made other friends I ended up meeting in RL (though I found it harder to talk to them face to face).