Is dancing an NT thing?

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Before I knew I had autism I use to force myself to dance at discos and nightclubs cuz I thought it was something I was meant to be able to do but I could never understand it and I always felt dirty and unnatural after forcing myself to do it. I knew that some people don't dance cuz they're too shy or self conscious so I thought that might be why I don't like it so I forced myself to keep doing it thinking that I'd learn it but I never did and now that I've been diagnosed with autism I no longer feel the need to partake in that NT BS. Its still a problem cuz sometimes you go into a bar or nightclub and everyone you're with starts dancing and they expect you to join in but being diagnosed with autism gives me a legitimate excuse to be the odd one out. Although I've never heard anyone on the spectrum talk about dancing I'm almost convinced that its one of those things that autistic peoples brains are not wired for, just like most aspects of socialising.

I think a lot of people on the spectrum are physically clumsy. I know I am.

Our NT society does favour physical activities such as dancing and sport. Participation is an expected part of social participation and cohesion.

I recall being forced to play sport at school which I absolutely hated. Yet I did once kick a goal in football (Australian Rules). Unfortunately, due to confusion on my part, I kicked the goal through the wrong goal posts. The great thing was that I was never again forced to play football!

The incident above was preceded by my running over my own thumb as I tried to pick up the ball. It was an experiment on my part to try to see what would happen if I actually tried to play, instead of forever running to the end of the ground opposite to where the ball was being played.

I think clumsiness like mine is not unusual amongst those upon the spectrum.

Given that sort of clumsiness, and the social outcasting it engenders (and I was definitely, blissfully outcast after kicking that goal!) some hurtful things can be said or even done by some within the NT world. I think this may discourage many on the spectrum from trying to dance.

I took to dancing as badly as I do as I was trying very hard to meet someone. But I also wanted to have something to do during social occasions. A lot of the pressure to small talk dissipates when you enter the dance floor.

I took lessons in ballroom, lessons in Latin, lessons in rock 'n roll. I kinda found my feet eventually (as did my dance partners on the numerous occasions when I stood on their toes or stumbled onto their heels).

So I dance on my own now, in the privacy of my own home. Dancing whilst cooking or cleaning is a good way to develop multitasking skills and have fun in the process.

And on social occasions (whenever I cannot avoid them) I am able to dance. I just have to ask how much insurance coverage my prospective dance partner has!

I'd rather die than dance.

Yes, literally.

Do whatever makes you come alive. I don't think anyone needs to dance. I enjoy it when I am alone. And I used to enjoy it with a past relationship. I must say she was nearly as clumsy as me, so that helped.

I don't know, but dancing badly is definitely a puddingmouse thing. I love it, even though I'm terrible.

I'm glad I am not alone in dancing on my own!

Its weird coming on these forums because among people here I'm normal. I'm physically clumsy too and before being diagnosed I could never accept that and would get highly defensive/offensive when someone would comment on my clumsiness because I know physical clumsiness is associated by most people with lack of intelligence. Still pisses me off when people look at me like I'm an idiot when I knock things over and make the odd motor coordination mistake. At the same time its always been obvious that most people seem to be technologically handicapped in comparison to me and being good with computers/technology/science is usually associated with a high degree of intelligence. Having a knack for technology/science related things doesn't seem to be uncommon among people on the spectrum either


lol. One time I scored a try in rugby and to show off I threw the ball down to the ground like they do in American football but then I find out it doesn't count as a try if you aren't holding the ball when it touches the ground lol. I'm good at running with the ball so they put my on left wing in rugby, this is probably a good position for people with aspergers because the hardest part is catching the ball, after that all you have to do is run with it. I like playing sports because theres an objective, the objective being to beat the other team. Dancing though, it just makes no sense to me at all. Even on ecstasy, a drug thats supposed to make people want to dance, dancing seems completely pointless to me so when I try to do it I just end up stumbling around the room like I just huffed some ether. I listen to music and am into just about all kinds of music but I'll probably never understand why people get the urge to dance when they hear it.

cnidocyte,

As you do not understand the desire to dance, I don't understand how you can like playing sports.

Except... My attraction to dance is probably similar to your attraction to sport. I think in that we can bridge our common misunderstanding.

Take care!

I need to get back to work!

I used to dance,
not the loose undulating squirming you see in bars,
but popping&locking, krumping, c-walking, tutting, robot, etc.
I never mastered those styles. I just danced because it was FUN!
I was so used to people treating me awkward anyway that I didn't care what they th*t.
I have friends who excel at ballet and b-boying, and take it seriously,
so to me it's unfair to portray all dance as if it's the same,
and then talk as if it's an inferior art.

But I agree that dancing is not for everyone.
If you don't want to dance, you don't need an excuse not to.
That's your business and nobody should hate on you for sitting it out.
I stopped dancing because I didn't have time to practice,
so it wasn't fun for me anymore.

Being expected to dance has got to be at the top of the list of most uncomfortable situations I'd like not to be in. I don't dance, I don't sing, and I don't do any of that other crap.

I only dance when Iv had few drinks. I look absolutely stupid while doing it, but it can be fun.

I like to dance for fun but I'm not good at it.

Never tried. I suppose I'm just a stick-in-the-mud. I imagine I'd suck if I tried. Most music I enjoy isn't what one would dance to though. Foot tapping and head bobbing is the most of musical motion you'll ever get out of me.

I guess those on the spectrum aren't exactly renowned for their co-ordination - but I still dance.

I am capable of learning a dance step if I have to, but I won't dance unless there is some kind of mandatory social expectation thing going on. I tried dancing at clubs years ago because I thought it was something everyone was supposed to be able to enjoy and if I tried it, I would. Didn't work. This was before I realised I was wired differently and not just socially disengaged.

Generally, my attitude to dancing can be summed up by this clip:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVqpwlB3MlM[/youtube]

There's plenty of NTs that don't like to dance. Though, I suspect an NT would be more likely to dance anyway because their friends are than an aspie. Whereas an aspie who likes to dance is much more likely than an NT who likes to dance to just dance anyway even if their friends aren't, I think.

(Note, I use the term "aspie" because it's much shorter than "person with autism". I'm referring to the spectrum in general.)

Me, I like dancing, but only either on my own (meaning no dance partner), or just facing each other without trying to dance together. I suck at anything that requires doing dance steps. (Slow dancing, the sway to the music in a circle with your partner thing, I can do, but my husband's not into it, so I don't. Which is fine.)