Do people get afraid if you stare at them?

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I don't make eye-contact much, but when I do people usually get nervous or look away... Even when I don't do it too long. My mother even told me that the way I stare looks like I'm going to kill someone when I'm not even thinking about anything, honestly. And a former co-worker said I was scaring him and looked like a serial killer. I wonder what it could be? My eyes are either too intense or they're blank.

Even past BFs have got really nervous and asked why I was looking at them. Wonder what it is...

Definitely. Once I was just staring at the back of my classmate, and she turned. Said: oh my god are you trying to stab be with a knife or something? It's sort of an aspie thing I guess.

I think it has to do with the fact that we tend to 'stare' not 'maintain constant eye contact'.
When I taught myself to have eye contact I started out by looking at a spot right between of the eyebrows of my conversation partner. This was often commented on as 'staring through them'.
Then I tried to concentrate on the pupils of both eyes or one eye, but this seems to be exactly the problem. There is a fixation on one point in the other person's face and not a constantly sweeping movement across the face. Does this have to do with my thinking in details to much?
Also, concentrating on this one point does not impair my peripheral vision, I still can be aware of that blemish on the chin or movements behind the person to whom I am speaking.

This is a trick question for me, because I have the opposite. I get afraid of people staring at me. But I never, ever stare at other people, even if I know them. Staring is just something I do not ever do, because I'm afraid of them looking at me.

But according to this thread, people don't like you staring at them, which means they don't like being stared at, but if they don't like being stared at then how come they stare at me enough and don't consider how I feel? (And I know when I'm being stared at because I either see them out of the corner of my eye, or I just catch them staring when I glance up).

And NTs don't lack empathy and common sense, they say?

I have a friend who I think may be an aspie but Im not sure if he thinks he is, anyway he scares me with his eye contact much like you said people told you that you do. He can have a smile on his face but he stares constantly at your eyes/face. This makes me feel as though he is pinning me against a wall, like I cant move or breath without him watching me do it. I guess some people could think he was about to stab them or something similar if they didnt know him well. I on the otherhand I hardly ever make eye contact which Im sure is seen as shy or lying behaviour, so Im not an expert on this topic.
But I did read that good eye contact is where you look someone in the eye or look at their nose and every 5 seconds you look away to the side or upwards (the article didnt say how long but I would say 2 or 3 seconds ) as if you are concentrating hard on trying to recall a memory or considering the point that the other person has just made and then you look back at them for another 5 seconds.
I would say that the trick is to not stare constantly, give a person a few seconds every now and then to take a breathe or blink without you watching them do it.
Hope this helps

I find it very hard to look people in both eyes. One eye is the best I can do, and I guess that doubles the intensity level.

I am legally deaf, so I lip read...I rarely freak people out too. So maybe look at their lips when they talk instead.

My aspie bf tends to stare which makes me feel very uncomfortable, as I myself am an aspie who does not like constant eye contact, especially when at close quarters, so it can be quite difficult. Having said that, he has told me to stop staring at him also, lol, so maybe I do it also. I have no idea what to do with my eyes when talking to someone, and end up acting really oddly as I struggle to find somewhere to look.

I have been told many times that people are scared of me based on "something about my eyes", since I was a little kid. I prefer NOT making any eye contact with anyone while conversing, but that's rude, so I have to make at least some eye contact. Police and teachers think I'm on drugs, and sadly, many times when I was trying to meet girls when I was younger, I would scare them off with my eyes. One of them told a mutual friend, that she was scared I was planning to rape her. Another said "I don't know... Something about him I need to stay away".

I used to do just fine with no eye contact, until a few things happened to make me force myself to try to do it... Once, my second grade teacher threw a dictionary at me because she thought I was being a smartass not making eye contact. I dodged the dictionary, as she shrieked "LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !". I was terrified, as I had no idea I was doing anything wrong. The fact is, I was listening attentively to her, and was under the mistaken impression that I was paying proper respect as well, by looking at the floor, as I always did. Later, she told my mother at a PTA meeting that she felt I was dangerous to the other students, and that I should be committed to an insane asylum. What made no sense to me nor to anyone else among my family and friends, is that I was never, never threatening or violent, and never "DID" anything which could induce these fears. In fact, I went through all 12 years of school in Los Angeles without ever getting in a fight, or any kind of trouble. It was all about the stereotype accusations with the weirdness and bad eye contact.

This is a situation where more education for teachers is a MUST, and a little bit of public knowledge would go a long way too.

Charles

I just bob my eyes in roughly the same way a metronome's pendulum swings, with an occasional stare. I think I was pretty "bad" with staring and facial expression regulation earlier in life (And still am with the facial expression thing.).

No, I'm afraid of staring at people!

People have said I have 'scary eyes', but I don't stare at people.

My natural situation is that I look away when people talk to me. So staring is not an issue.

If I am trying to fake eye contact, which I do regularly because I know it is expected, I look at people's lips - I find the lip movement is helpful in keeping my focus on the person and it can help me with picking out what they are saying from all the other distractions though sometimes it makes it more difficult. I also think it does give the other person the signal they need to know that you are listening to them even if you aren't actually making eye contact. As someone else has already said, this does not seem to scare people.

I have tried to raise my gaze from the lips slightly, but I find it really difficult and cannot do it. I have recently started to try to practice this with the television and at the cinema, trying to make myself make eye contact with the people on screen (which is equally as difficult for me as in real life). What I find is that when I try this I am so determined to keep that eye contact I end up staring and not looking away after a "natural" period ... of course I miss everything else that is going on on screen and what is being said.

I imagine that if I were to make eye contact with a real person they would think I was staring.

And they may well be scared ... but I don't think the scared-ness would come from it being ME staring at them, or the fact that there is something "odd" about my eyes ... but because they'd be scared if *ANYBODY* stared at them.

Now, there are some circumstances in which I do stare: if I see someone who looks interesting for some reason then I will stare at them. If I accidentally make eye contact, however, I have to look away immediately.

scaring others by looking? happens too often for me.
if my normal eye-contact simulation fails, i go into staring mode. i usually just stare at something random, but if that happens to be in someones direction, iit is considered 'scary' indeed...

Sometimes, when I am really engaged in talking to someone, I will stare fixed into their eyes, blink a lot less than usual, and most likely, creep the begeezus out of them. Other times, I will stare past them while they are talking to me and not look at them at all while I am talking to them. I wonder which is more unnerving for the other person. It's hard for me to regulate these things. They just happen while I am thinking and listening and speaking about the topic and nothing but the topic.

I sometimes do this if I'm not paying attention. I think it's the aspie thing of, even when one makes eye-contact, forgetting to move the face away from the blank, neutral face. Usually when people make eye-contact they smile, even just a little, and just staring without any other face change is like eye-contact without the good intentions of emotional connection. Looks creepy to someone who doesn't understand what's going on.