NT reactions to AS and Autism

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I'd like to ask everyone to take a moment to remember how NT people react to them when they say that they have AS or autism. Negative and positive reactions welcome.

"Wow. (...) My friend has Asperger's. He has it really bad and his school locks him up in a room whenever he has fits."

Fits? Is that common amongst people who have super-spergers as opposed to mild? Or have I missed the point of what you said...

I think it might be more common among those with super-Asperger's, though I can't be sure.

I just remember being miffed that the conversation immediately geared towards her friend. xD Felt ignored, I did. Looking back, I can't blame them, since they were unfamiliar with AS and they didn't like me much anyway.

The typical three attitudes I get is

1. They don't take it into account. In other words, they continue to judge me based on my actions, whether I point out that htey are due to Asperger, or not.

2. It helps. In other words, I get forgiven for things I do because I tell that it is due to Asperger

3. They get mad at me that I use Asperger as an excuse.

More recently, however, I got something completely new. Namely

4. They take seriously that I have Asperger and either get scared by that or conclude that it means I will never improve

The part 4 came to me as a surprise. So now I feel like the tables have turned and *I* am the one begging them to overlook my Asperger; whereas in the past I was the one trying to bring Aspergers to everyones attention every chance I get.

Last edited by Roman on 21 Jul 2011, 12:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

They have told me stuff like "Your not autistic. Your just shy and nervous around people." NTs have also commented on my not liking to be touched "You must have been molested as a child and are repressing it that is why you do not remember it." I also get "You're too smart to be autistic." My kidney doctor told me this gem after I told him I am autistic. "That's impossible, you don't look autistic."

It is like they are in denial that they know an autistic person. They will come up with multiple excuses of why I am the way I am while going to their grave saying I am just a little weird and not autistic. They don't walk up to someone with cancer and tell them it must be the flu or really bad virus of some sort. I would like the same respect they give a person who says they have cancer. Is that hard for them to do?

Last edited by Todesking on 21 Jul 2011, 12:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Well 10 years ago I was told "you dont look autistic" A LOT. But right now I don't have this luxury. Right now everyone thinks something is wrong with me even if I don't tell about Asperger. I have no idea what happened between then and now.

Some people don't know what it is!!

Most reactions I've received from people out in public were negative. There is a lot of stigma towards autism/AS in the city I live in. People will stare at me like I'm weird or something. Some people, especially women, will even get creeped out since I come across as "different" from NT's. It doesn't matter if I disclose my AS or not, they'll just react negatively towards me. I have not done one single thing to any of these people and I have done nothing wrong. But many NT's in this city seem to have a major problem with anything different, whether it is AS, autism, or any other invisible condition. As a result, most people don't trust me. This has been a major source of stress and anxiety in the past year. I'm highly sure I've developed social anxiety disorder due to this as I've recently been experiencing severe anxiety whenever I go out in public.

Most employers will not hire me due to my AS, even if I meet every single qualification. The only employers that did give me a chance were either located where there are no bus routes or my work hours would be on Sunday when the buses don't run. This was happening even before the economy crisis occurred, which hit the city very hard and major cuts were made everywhere.

The only people who seem to trust me are those who have knowledge of AS/autism, many of my close friends, and my family. I rarely get to see any of these people, with the exception of my mother who I live with.

People will tell me things like:

"you don't look autistic"
"you're not autistic! It's all in your head!" (well...technically, I guess that one is true, but not in the way they are implying!)
"you're too smart to be autistic"
"you can't be autistic because you speak"
"you're just __________" (the adjective might be shy, immature, or any number of other things as well)

I even got this once:

"you can't be autistic...you don't make noises!" Um.....HUH?! They are either mistaking autism for Tourette's....or maybe they are referring to vocal stimming...which I DO do quite frequently--I just have control over it that I don't do it at family functions, or the store, or school, etc.

Sometimes, I get brushed off with a simple "oh......."
Sometimes people are understand, but most are not. Most do not understand what it means to be autistic. Some people even start talking really slow and loud as though they now assume I am mentally ret*d and/or deaf.

I did not know what it was until I accidently watched an episode of the doctors when they were talking about the autism spectrum. Then three months later I was diagnosed with it. So I only have known about Aspergers for 2 years now. When they were talking about it I was thinking "That sounds like me." Then my parents who were watching the show with me were like "It sounds like they are talking about you." There should be more PSA's about it.

Quite a few haven't known what it is, so I've had to explain.

One person talked about their friend who has children with Asperger's, one said I'm not ret*d enough ( ), and one was quite positive and said they'd always wanted to talk to someone with AS.

My boys got denied help for the first three years of their lives because they didn't "look" autistic. Experts now spot them as autistic on sight.

A bet you any money you like that if I turned round to an NT employer and said, ''I've got Asperger's. It's a mild form of Autism'', I bet they will immediately think, ''oh, she's Autistic. That means she won't be able to speak to anyone and will be useless and clumsy and won't listen or learn anything we tell her'', even though I've filled out an application form, attended the interview looking presentable, told them all about myself like any NT would, handed them a CV full of previous work experienes, training courses, et cetera that I have done, and (most obvious) spoke to them in an appropriate manner.

It's just the way the negative stereotype goes. NTs (who don't know anybody with Autism) have no idea that Aspies and Autistics are just as capable as an NT.

They don't usually believe me.

I tell my people about my OCD, than my AS. They are usually pretty accepting of it. A couple people haven't been, but not everyone is going to like you.

I usually get the response, "You don't look like you have autism. Are you sure?"
I even had a counselor give me a pitying look, before saying, "Does that resonate with you?"
Or I hear, "Like Rainman?"
Or, "You are too smart to be Autistic!"
Or they start talking to me like I dropped 50 IQ points right before their eyes.