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LaetiBlabla
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16 Jan 2016, 9:26 pm

Hello, i am looking for advices.

Did you learn to be patient? How did you do?



ASPartOfMe
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17 Jan 2016, 2:12 am

Years of getting negative feedback and results when I was impatient.


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LaetiBlabla
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17 Jan 2016, 4:00 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Years of getting negative feedback and results when I was impatient.


Ah yes, i should just remember those negative feedbacks from time to time.
I like your short-clever answers, it looks now so simple :)



nick007
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17 Jan 2016, 4:46 am

Being forced to wait for things gradually helped me learn to be more patient.


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babybird
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17 Jan 2016, 5:39 am

I don't think I've learned to be patient.

I think I've learned to hide my impatience.


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Dwarvyn
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17 Jan 2016, 7:21 am

I also experienced the years of negative feedback as a child for things like this. :(

As for how to be patient, for me it's mostly understanding why I have to wait, and when there is no acceptable reason, it's a lot like what babybird said in that you kind of learn to hide it (for me, mostly due to the negative feedback when it was expressed).

I really want Black Desert to hit open beta in NA, and I am soooooo impatient for it to come out. But even though there is a good reason (the company isn't ready yet, they're going through a couple closed beta sessions first, and then they have to actually bug fix the issues that were found), at least to the part of me that's being impatient that's not an 'acceptable' reason, even though logic says it is. For something like this, I just don't mention anything about it, and then bury myself in a different special interest so that I can throw all my focus at that and tend not to think about the thing I'm impatient about (almost hiding it from myself :) ).

Dog training (at least my two monsters anyway) needs a lot of patience. They can not get a concept for weeks, and then all of a sudden it will click and it's like they've always done it. My Ruby has been learning 'stand' for a couple months now (since we brought her here in July), and we'd only been able to do it with the hand signal; we just couldn't seem to break through to verbal-only. Two weeks ago, we finally got the understanding across of what the word means, and now she's got it probably 80% of the time (she gets really excited and can forget even how to sit sometimes). Months of trying to get her to understand a concept that she already knows in abstract (word -> action). But I kept working with her until she got it. In this case, I didn't get impatient because the reason for the waiting was deemed 'acceptable' by my internal impatience algorithm, (however that works); she's not one of the super-intelligent dogs, she's distractable, she's over excited and anxious, she's learning a bunch of other stuff at the same time, stand is a hard one for dogs, and the big one (at least for me): if you're not patient, it won't work at all.

Apparently people think of me as very patient. They see something I've knitted, and the response is usually "I wouldn't have the patience" (knitting is one of my special interests though, and I don't notice the time passing while I'm focusing). They see how well my dogs are trained, and the response is along the lines of "That must have taken a lot of patience". Even our obedience teacher says the same thing. I don't feel like a very patient person, but I seem to present as such.



JakeASD
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17 Jan 2016, 7:29 am

If anything, I have always been too patient.


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17 Jan 2016, 7:43 am

No, I never learned to be patient. But I did learn to mimick my mother, who has the patience of a saint. She keeps her face relaxed, especially her eyes. I concentrate on doing that while the world continues in its annoying ways. It helps.



LaetiBlabla
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17 Jan 2016, 8:34 am

Thanks all, it is helpful.

The thing is, when i plan an objective, i have a clear idea of every successive actions i have to take, I want do it in let's say 1 hour, but...
...sometimes, contextual parameters interfere or unpredictable events arise and 1 hour can become 2 hours. Grrr...

i will try what you proposed. 8)



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17 Jan 2016, 9:10 am

The years of negative feedback when dealing with people. But that is wearing thin. As I get older I am just withdrawing more. Tired of dealing with people and the resulting confusion/sensory overloads.

But when it comes to my special interests, I have patience aplenty.

When it comes to certain things, bad results have forced me to exercise patience more (art work being rushed, models having to be sanded and painted many times because I would not wait until the paint was dry or just trying to get it 'just right' and over working things. Those type of things)


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CockneyRebel
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17 Jan 2016, 2:14 pm

By being ordered to be patient in my early years. I've learned to distract myself as an adult with as many distractions as I can find. That's my way of being patient.


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18 Jan 2016, 1:47 am

In any situation where I may have to wait a while, I bring a book or something else to occupy myself. Even practicing some relaxation techniques helped me to appear less stressed.


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18 Jan 2016, 4:47 am

No, waiting always annoys me, either because it's boring, because I want to see something people have already seen and I have to avoid having it spoiled for me before then, or because I'm going to be late for something. I complain a lot because it helps me feel better, but the only time I really panic about it is for the lateness reason. I mean, how can I be patient when time is running out? There are some things I can wait for, but not many. I lose patience very easily as well.



EzraS
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18 Jan 2016, 8:44 am

This is helpful for me too as I have not learned yet how to be patient.



RenaeK
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18 Jan 2016, 9:20 am

What kind of patient do you mean?

I can be totally patient teaching a child something. I can happily wait half an hour for a child to recover from a meltdown and not get annoyed.

I CAN NOT stand in line and watch someone fumble over taking orders, I rock back and forth until people stare but I have to move or I'll explode. Waiting, anything where I'm waiting I'm impatient as hell.

I think it depends whether I think I deserve to be made to be patient in that situation. If I'm a customer, hurry up and serve me. If I'm at work with a kid, they deserve my patience and I should give it to them. I don't know how I learnt it, I just force myself to breathe and not react and WAIT.



zkydz
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18 Jan 2016, 9:37 am

RenaeK wrote:
What kind of patient do you mean?

I can be totally patient teaching a child something. I can happily wait half an hour for a child to recover from a meltdown and not get annoyed.

I CAN NOT stand in line and watch someone fumble over taking orders, I rock back and forth until people stare but I have to move or I'll explode. Waiting, anything where I'm waiting I'm impatient as hell.

I think it depends whether I think I deserve to be made to be patient in that situation. If I'm a customer, hurry up and serve me. If I'm at work with a kid, they deserve my patience and I should give it to them. I don't know how I learnt it, I just force myself to breathe and not react and WAIT.
I will have to echo this. Since I spent most of my life having to teach myself things because nobody had the patience or skill to get through to me, I will take forever to explain something to someone who is trying. But, if they don't try and are just being lazy, then I just tell them to reference a page in a book, a pdf file or something. I ain't gonna waste my time with someone who won't take their own time to improve themselves or are just lazy.

But, that's a bad attitude with today's students I'm told. "They have to be nurtured" and "Led"....f**k that....they're adults...grow up and be responsible.

So, yeah...no patience with people who won't take the time to learn something important. I spent my entire life teaching myself things because I had so few teachers that would try to reach me.


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