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gramirez
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27 Nov 2008, 11:58 pm

Does anyone feel that no matter what, you simply have to win an argument or a debate? I get this a lot. Usually it's because I feel really strongly about something, or because the other person is so wrong, that they sound like an ignorant hypocrite.

Is this an A.S. intelligence thing?



Aguila
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28 Nov 2008, 12:26 am

Sometimes, especially with my siblings I feel like I have to have the last word. When I know that I am right and the other is wrong I will, not in a mean way, I try to show them my line of thinking but that seems to cause some friction somewhere. As for being an AS thing, I dont know.



Danielismyname
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28 Nov 2008, 12:44 am

This comes under "rigid-thinking", which is an ASD thing (for some reason, I can't see how "right" equates to rigid, but eh, that's what they say).

I must lose arguments, as I like losing; I hate being right, it annoys the hell out of me.



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28 Nov 2008, 12:46 am

Used to, then I grew up.



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28 Nov 2008, 1:05 am

I get this way sometimes but it is almost always during an emotional meltdown. It seems to stem from really needing the other person to understand what I am saying -- not "winning" the debate/argument seems to me to mean that they just don't understand logic or hear what I am saying. Once I cool off I can let it go or analyze it enough to see where I let the emotions take over my ability to see the futility in trying to convince the other person of my "right" way of thinking. LOL


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tinky
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28 Nov 2008, 1:06 am

i don't like arguing to start with. i cave easily or let my emotions drive me. i can argue well, i just need time to stop and think about my next move. :chin:


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timeisdead
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28 Nov 2008, 1:07 am

I am very argumentative and love to catch people on their own inconsistencies.



NeantHumain
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28 Nov 2008, 2:25 am

gramirez wrote:
Does anyone feel that no matter what, you simply have to win an argument or a debate? I get this a lot. Usually it's because I feel really strongly about something, or because the other person is so wrong, that they sound like an ignorant hypocrite.

Is this an A.S. intelligence thing?

No, this is not an AS thing. This has more to do with the agreeableness dimension of personality than Asperger's syndrome. Prove me wrong. :D



28 Nov 2008, 2:27 am

Oh god you just described me. I always had to win arguments. I can remember my teacher telling me do I always need to be the last one to talk. Only way to get me to shut up during the argument is if other people ended it by not saying anything else. But I know you can't always win dramas or fights etc. because the other person wants to win too or they just are egging you or provoking you.
I also like proving people wrong.



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28 Nov 2008, 2:30 am

only when I am right



28 Nov 2008, 2:32 am

Only thing I will not argue in is religion and politics. You can't prove yourself right in those areas.



Lo
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28 Nov 2008, 3:47 am

Quote:
This comes under "rigid-thinking", which is an ASD thing (for some reason, I can't see how "right" equates to rigid, but eh, that's what they say).

I must lose arguments, as I like losing; I hate being right, it annoys the hell out of me


Don't worry - 'rigid' is probably a typo for 'right' and the error has been passed down the generations!



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28 Nov 2008, 4:12 am

I must be right, I must win the debate, and I always think I got the truth in my mouth.
It is problematic with classmates, who can't accept that they're noisy in class. (I will post a video of the class on Youtube if I can).
I like to have the last word, and that causes me numerous argues with my family. I'm having meltdowns when someone is wrong.
I had sometimes feeling I was superior, even that I was a sort of god.


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28 Nov 2008, 4:35 am

I am not always aiming for must be right. Sometimes I am right, sometimes wrong, sometimes on the right track, sometimes way off, sometimes partially off but I do get annoyed with people who think they are always right and think they have some trophy to win.

Most of the time, I remember debates or arguments and re-examine it later. If it turns out I wasn't correct about something or maybe just being a tad too emotional that day then I will correct it and admit to it.

I was brought up to take responsibility for my actions and I think that is what made that part of me come out. I really don't think it's an ASD issue. I've seen this in NT circles too but different reasons. Narcissists and sociopaths are notorious for this behavior as they really MUST be right all the time and will often belittle others seeming to be overly arrogant (the narcissist) and the sociopath likes to find what makes a person upset to use for ammo later.



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28 Nov 2008, 6:23 am

I used to be a bit like this.

Now I'm doing some reading about collaborative problem solving methods.

Now I realise that there will always be people who are more qualified/are more expert at a subject than I ever will be. Now I'm trying to respect their opinions and learn something from them in the process.

We live in a very complex world.
Perhaps more complex than we really give it credit for.

I don't think that there is a single "truth" as such.
Different people have different views, hence there are many different "truths".
If it's possible to be able to try and unite these truths in some semi-coherent way then all to the good.

Sometimes an extreme opinion is what's needed to overturn the status-quo and radically change our perceptions of the world though.



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28 Nov 2008, 8:43 am

Danielismyname wrote:
This comes under "rigid-thinking", which is an ASD thing (for some reason, I can't see how "right" equates to rigid, but eh, that's what they say).


Perhaps this is related to the phenomenon whereby people losing an argument resort to 'accusing' the other of 'having an answer for everything', as though it's a bad thing to form an opinion based on having all the answers, and a good thing to run about with half-baked notions easily dis-proven if one takes the time to check the available answers.