Diagnosed with asperger's when I was 10...

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Hmm, where to start.

First off, I only have four major symptoms of the disorder.
1. EXTREME social anxiety, which has made school a living hell for me from day 1.
2. Fixations on certain topics.
3. Avoiding eye contact. (although i've gotten better at it)
4. I despise change, but get used to it very quickly.

I'm not at all awkward, socially, around people I know. Hell, I even managed to hold a girlfriend for two years. But in school and around people I don't know? I freeze right up and all words just leave me. I've heard not knowing how to talk to people is one of the main symptoms, but it's never been a problem once I've already to got to know them.

Another symptom of asperger's that people talk about yet I don't have is lack of empathy. That's the opposite of true in me. My friends always come to me when they're depressed and need help, and i've talked 3 people out of suicide. I find it very easy to empathize with other people.

Another symptom is "always talking about their current fixation even when the other person is clearly uninterested" I don't get that either. Sure, I enjoy talking about it, but I generally don't because I realize they probably aren't nearly as interested in the subject as I am.

Yet another symptom i've heard of yet don't have is sensitivity to bright lights and loud noises. I tend not to mind either unless it's in an inappropriate situation. (IE. Blasting a song I hate, vacuuming when i'm trying to sleep, etc.)

Yet another one is not being able to detect sarcasm. I pretty much always detect it and use it almost constantly.

Last but not least, another symptom i've read about is "not understanding social cues and not understanding body language", yet i've never had trouble with that.

My question is, how was I diagnosed with it if I only have four of the 10+ symptoms?

I know the feeling of not fitting every single part of the definition of AS and feeling like that means you can't be diagnosed with it. I tend to focus on the few parts of AS which don't apply to me rather than the things that do. Yet I'm still definitely diagnosed with AS and it's still quite likely that your diagnosis is right. I guess the important thing is, do you feel like you have AS? If you benefit from any of the benefits of the diagnosis (such as coming on here) then the diagnosis is a good thing whether 100% of the traits are there or not.

First of all the empathy one, here's a quote from Tony Attwood:

"It is important to recognize that the person with Asperger's syndrome has immature of impaired ToM abilities or empathy, not an absence of empathy. To imply an absence of empathy would be a terrible insult to people with Asperger's syndrome, with the implication that the person does not recognize or care about the feelings of others. The person does care, very deeply, but may not be able to recognize the more subtle signals of emotional states or "read" complex mental states."

I have AS and I also care about other people. Like you mentioned, I try to help people when they're feeling bad and have also talked people out of suicide/tried to help them. That's a complete myth about AS in most cases- people do care.

I am rather socially awkward but I'm a lot more comfortable around people I've known for years. I have two friends whom I've known for years and can talk to and do things with, which helps a lot at times. However with strangers or people I don't know very well as you mentioned I freeze up and I just can't do the right thing. I can socialise with the few people I know well but it's much, much harder when you don't know the person or are in a big group.

I was really extra-sensitive to noises and texture and things like that when I was younger, but over time, even though I think I'm still extra sensitive, I've grown used to it/adapted to it which I think happens with lots of people.

Also, when I was younger I completely did not understand sarcasm and ended up in tears over it more than once. But over time I've learnt about sarcasm. I know what it is and I've taught myself to understand it/use it.

Struggling with understanding social cues and body language is something I think most people with AS experience but again over time you can teach yourself how to recognise signs and respond appropriately. Again this is probably easier if you only spend time with people you know really well.

I guess the thing about AS or any diagnosis on the spectrum is that it isn't a square box, exactly, and so not everybody will be exactly the same. If a place like wrongplanet helps you, why not come here whether you have a diagnosis or not?

Have you read books about AS, and do you feel that "that's you"?

If it feels completely wrong, maybe you could get a second opinion if it matters to you?

Well, the two most severe symptoms for me are the social anxiety which makes me dread school to the point where i've intentionally made myself sick (IE. induced vomiting) to get out of it. Thankfully, I only have one year left, but it's gonna be a long year... I have 0 friends at my school. I have plenty of friends, but they all live in surrounding nearby towns rather than mine.

The other severe one is the fixation on things, which I really don't mind as it gives me something to read up on/do and it doesn't really affect me negatively.

It's possible whoever diagnosed you was ignoring the cause of your social difficulties and just counting off traits. Judging from this one girl I knew with social anxiety, I'm guessing that in settings where you're anxious, you:

* avoid eye contact

* don't show much facial expression

* act aloof

* have a lot of difficulty making friends

If you ignore that those are due to anxiety, they sound like AS. But if your social skills are normal in those settings where you're not anxious, then you don't have AS. My guess would be something like avoidant personality, or OCD plus social anxiety disorder, or something like that.

Part of the issue might also be the age at which you were seen. AS/autism are considered childhood disorders, and therefore doctors are more likely to think of them when they see a kid with social problems. Personality disorders are not allowed to be diagnosed until 18, even though people with PDs generally report having issues since childhood. And while kids can be diagnosed with OCD and social anxiety, both of those are seen as more of adult conditions.

Of course, another possibility is that you're overestimating your social skills, which is common in AS people. Do your parents agree with your description of yourself here? I know I thought I had normal facial expressions and eye contact, but my Dad says I don't. My face is a bit less expressive than most, and I tend to stare intently and/or have odd timing of eye contact.

I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist.

But I do think my social skills around people I know are fine. I've never seemed to have a big problem. The only downfall is, with girlfriends, i'm paranoid as holy hell. I always seem to think they're cheating on me even if they're showing 0 signs of it. It sucks.