Obsession inhibited by lack of confidence?

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Australien
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29 Jul 2011, 2:27 am

Do you find that you have an obsession that you constantly think about, but sometimes have issues putting into action because of lack of confidence - either that you can do it as well as you envisioned, or good old outright fear of complete failure? And, is this an AS thing?

I'm attempting to write an Android app during the time I spend on the train on the way to and from work. If I reason with myself I know that I just have to get into it and it'll be easier - but then, "it" starts - "I'm not sure I understand it right", "A really smart person would perfectly understand the documentation first time and know exactly what to do straight away", "I've already wasted so much time on it, I'm a timewaster, dammit!" and I end up getting nothing done on it for maybe a whole week.

Is this something you can relate to? Or is this some emotional NT crap coming out?



Tehsbe
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29 Jul 2011, 2:59 am

All the time. My cousin and I are starting a project and we would like to have a website for it, but I just don't know how to start or finish it.



anneurysm
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29 Jul 2011, 6:14 am

I would like to expand my speaking opportunities (I speak professionally about AS) but am often worried that I come across as arrogant and shamelessly self promotional. I could do it, but at the same time I always wonder 'what if they don't like me?' or 'what if they turn me down'?


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Australien
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29 Jul 2011, 7:12 am

anneurysm wrote:
I would like to expand my speaking opportunities (I speak professionally about AS) but am often worried that I come across as arrogant and shamelessly self promotional. I could do it, but at the same time I always wonder 'what if they don't like me?' or 'what if they turn me down'?


I am in a similar situation; I am often told by colleagues and others in my field that I should present various things that I have found, but I always worry that if I have found them, then others must already know about it and I don't want to waste peoples' time.



emac
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29 Jul 2011, 7:56 am

I can relate. I don't have AS, but it took me until my mid-20s to finally pursue my lifelong passion for music (or, at least, let anyone else in on it), I think because I knew that some people fancy themselves good singers or whatever who are clearly tone-deaf to others around them and I worried that that was the case with me. What if my passion was just a delusion? I gradually came to realize that doesn't matter, there is no objective reality to compare anything to, and sometimes if you feel it you just gotta GO FOR IT!! ! Best wishes!



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29 Jul 2011, 8:36 am

Yes! I am too timid to talk to other people about my special interests, or act on them all the time. I feel so sad because RC cars are one of these. I love them, but I'm too afraid to drive them alone in public, or talk about them with people, because I'm afraid they will think I'm stupid. Or they'll want to watch me drive it and then I won't be able to get the engine to start.
I tend to act less informed than I really am because I'm afraid of saying something wrong and being corrected. :( That or people thinking I'm boring.



kittie
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29 Jul 2011, 11:51 am

I think it's just a normal 'being human' trait - not particularly NT or AS. ;)



aelf
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29 Jul 2011, 7:32 pm

Ugh, yes, this happens to me all the time and it ruins my life!



swbluto
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31 Jul 2011, 1:16 am

Nope, this isn't my problem. I make a point to avoid self-comparisons to someone better because 1) Someone better will always exist (Which is quite a bit of people, actually...) and 2) Nothing is going to stop me or slow me down from pursuing my goals, not my judgments nor others'.

My main constraint in pursuing my interests is funding but the cash flow has been increasing lately, so that might become less of a problem in the future (I certainly hope so).



Robdemanc
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31 Jul 2011, 1:38 am

I would say this happens to us all (NT and AS). You have embarked on a creative project and because it is your creation to be it has never been done before so you are the only one who can believe in it. People who create things be it music, novels, software etc have to believe in themselves in order to do it.

I write and sometimes I am so confident I plough through my project, but at other times I am convinced that its a waste of time. I keep going back to it because I really believe in it and won't let it become a forgotten venture.



kahlua
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31 Jul 2011, 4:28 am

I love riding horses and motorbikes.... I have major anxiety and confidence issues doing both, despite being fairly competent.

Haven't ridden for over 12 months now.....trying to get back into it, while the motorbikes sit in the garage with flat batteries and the horse does nothing in his paddock (he doesn't mind though ! !! !)



Kempy
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17 Aug 2011, 1:29 am

This is exactly how I feel. I want to get into the film industry, and I know that I am very good at what I do, but I always find reasons NOT to do things. I struggle to work with other people because of my AS but that is something I am working to overcome. Reading these posts is actually a big help because now I feel that lack of confidence is the main thing holding me back. I will continue to try to improve my confidence as well as writing my next film project.



MakaylaTheAspie
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17 Aug 2011, 1:57 am

Screw them. I'm having fun with my obsession. :)

And who wouldn't love a furry adolescent with dangerous weapons?


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Last edited by MakaylaTheAspie on 17 Aug 2011, 1:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SammichEater
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17 Aug 2011, 2:00 am

Yeah. I need to stop caring so much.


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johnsmcjohn
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17 Aug 2011, 2:04 am

I have a problem with this. My obsession is in computer programming, but I fear failing in my implementation, or not being successful in the market. Therefore, I don't code and drink beer instead. Need to turn this around. Tomorrow maybe.



Joe90
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17 Aug 2011, 3:32 am

I have this too. I have an obsession with buses, and I'm always saying I want to be a bus-driver, but then you got to be driving a car for at least 3 years, and have really good experience with driving, then you have to go through all tests with buses, and apparently it's more harder than a car-driving test. I just can't be arsed to start. Even if it's something I'm truly obsessed with, I will still probably fail when I start studying on it at a college or somewhere. When I was at school my special interest was Spanish, and I had the strong desire to learn Spanish, and I brought lots of vocabulary books to help me out, and I took Spanish as a subject in school, which was my favourite subject. But I still could never speak Spanish as well as the rest of the children! 8O


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