Social hangover

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I had to have a really social week. It was not what I wanted. Now I feel like I need to just go walk and walk and walk and be by myself to clear my head, but I can't because I have a lot of work to do. And here's the craziest thing: I feel a compulsive need to be around people again. It's so crazy because I really don't want to, and I wasn't happy to do it this week. It felt like s**t and was totally overwhelming. I think that it's like when you get super drunk and then the next day need a beer to not be hungover or something. Or when you have a wound and you keep messing with it and it doesn't heal.

Would love to hear from people who
A. relate
B. have good suggestions for how I can regulate. Tomorrow i have to spend a lot of time with TWO people and I'm just like "Oh nooooooooo!"

so I would love some helpful input.

yes, I relate to this

Thank you! I feel so disoriented and unfocused. I've compulsively worked on my resume and job search stuff, which is my current special interest.

Today I feel sh***y about being autistic.

Unfortunately, i've been dealing with this without any help or understanding since i was young. I've been alone for 99% of my life, cause i've had terrible IBS since i was young because of the "brain-stress" or whatever i call it. So either i'm afraid to eat, or i'll have the most ridiculous IBS when i'm around people. I kind of gave up being around people when i was 25. I can relate so bad. I wish u the best dealing with this, but know that u are very brave and it might turn around for u. Are these people "wise" enough to understand a small off the cuff remark , maybe a funny one, to ease your pain? you might be more relaxed.

Wanting more social time may be a state of shock you go into when necessary. A Beaver hates to be more than a run and a jump from water, but when necessary, will go looking for a new pond by walking in a straight line and ignoring anything not wet, even a school picnic.

From my experience, I think you have made a start already just by realising that "regulating" is what you need to do. It can be all too easy to get into a sociable/burnout cycle where socialising switches between trying too hard (leading to exhaustion), followed by burnout (no socialisation at all, thus cutting yourself from everyone.)

The main thing that helps me, I think, is learning to do the regulating in advance as much as possible. For example, when accepting a social invitation, I let the other person know up front that seeing them is something I'm looking forward too, but I might not be able to stay for the whole event. This reduces the anxiety that I might become overwhelmed and then struggle to find a way to make a polite exit - if things go well, then I feel good that I did more than I expected, but if not, I'm not being rude because I already arranged it. Being clear up front also means less negotiating with people later on, when it might be more difficult because I'm already feeling a bit overwhelmed and struggling to communicate what I need.

If people are arranging to go somewhere which I know will be a stressful environment (pubs/restaurants etc.), I also check out in advance whether there is a pub garden, nearby park etc. so that I can excuse myself for a short while to clear my head as soon as I start feeling overwhelmed; I also find out how people are travelling to the event so that I can avoid travelling alone wherever possible.

Similarly, I always prepare in advance for a stressful occasion by trying to make sure that my "sanctuary" is fully prepared - enough food in the house, things I need for special interests to hand, any annoying chores already done. Again, that helps to relieve anxiety about the event, because I know I can get straight into my "coccoon" as soon as the event is done.

By giving other people a realistic idea of what to expect from me, and by preparing my sanctuary, I often find that I can cope with the social situation better because my stress level is lower when I arrive, and I have a bit more "energy in the tank", and there is no anxiety about whether I can make my escape if I need to. The people I socialise with regularly have gotten quite well "trained" in the time that I've been doing things this way, so even if the negotiation seems a bit nerve-wracking at first, you should find that it gets easier over time as people get used to it.

People are generally tiresome. Afterward I have to be alone for some time. Maybe play some games, lay down, watch some anime, etc. The only time I would need to lay down is if dealing with people gives me a headache.