Which/ How many AS traits do you have?

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Not fitting certain AS traits is something that I think about quite a lot and can't get off my mind, since most people here seem to fit so much more of it than I do. So my question is, do you fit all of the traits of the "typical aspie"? Or do you simply fit most of them, or consider yourself a lot different to other AS people?

Sometimes when I'm writing I'm quite surprised at what I've written and I wonder if that's really what I think or the way I feel about things, and what actually prompted me to write it. I start to doubt everything. I can't answer the question, "How would you feel if this happened?" or "On a scale of 1-10 how unsafe would this make ou feel?" Because I don't really know at all how I feel and how it compares to other people and if it's strong enough to use a certain word for it. (Sorry, I'm rambling now) But one of the things I doubt is my diagnosis of ASD. Although there are parts of it I do fit, and I've read about it and seen how I could relate to it, there are certain things which always make me doubt the diagnosis eg:

-When I was diagnosed, I was really angry about being there (It would take a while to explain why) and I didn't say a thing for the assesment. I went to one appointment and my parents went to several. So how could they make an accurate diagnosis without "observing" me more or talking to me? Others say that in diagnosis they had to do certain tests or talk to people, for instance.

-I don't have a special interest. Everyone here seems to have one. My interests have all been fairly normal. I never collected abnormal objects. I had collections of dolls and crystals and postcards but those aren't all that unusual. Also, I read that many people with AS prefer non-fiction to fiction when reading and that's not true for me- when I was younger, I spent practically all of my time reading fiction.

-I do have friends. I have close friends who I've known for a while, though I seem to be losing them because they want to be part of a bigger group and I seem to have told them too much about myself. (Or maybe this is just me, I always think that somebody dislikes me when it turns out that they actually don't.)

The parts of AS that I do have are hard to explain. When I was younger I took things very literally and probably showed a lot more of AS when I think about it, but over time I think I've just learnt to do the right things. I am pretty good at hiding any differences from others, but this involves not doing a lot of things I'm afraid of doing and not participating in certain things in school, never talking to people I don't really know, avoiding being a part of a group for conversation etc. If there are situations in which I can't sit in the background or read or pretend to be busy by myself I'll try and get away and find a place where I can be by myself to panic.

Because I'm always tense in school I tend to get home and fall apart.

When I seem to get more confident and take more on I always seem to end up crashing and distancing myself from everything. At home I spend most of my time in my room because I don't have to worry about others seeing me or judging me and I can try and gather myself.

I'm socially awkward but isn't it possible that that's just me failing instead of it actually being AS? I never really know what to say and so I avoid talking to people I don't know. If somebody asks me "Are you okay?" I'll usually pause and every single time I'll say "Yes, are you?" Really quickly and they'll usually either not seem to hear me or not reply or think that I said something else. Once at school somebody asked me "Do you want to do this?" and I said "Yes, I don't mind" but they thought I said "Yes, I'm okay" because I said it so quickly and laughed at me. In a group I won't say anything much at all, though I talk to people I know well. I probably strike people as very uninteresting because my response to most things is "I'm not sure," or something along those lines before trying to discreetly leave. I wish that I was invisible to everybody else so that I could just get on with whatever we had to do. Everything seems to be improvisation/group work in school and I'm one of the few who actually wishes we could just work out of textbooks alone. So just me failing and being socially awkward?

When I was younger I was very sensitive to sounds and textures but as I've grown older that's a lot less important.

I'm sorry this is so long, but I guess I have several questions. Do you think that my diagnosis is right, or do you think it doesn't sound quite right, or that it doesn't really matter?

Also, how many of the AS traits do you have? Are there any that you don't fit? I seem to always focus on the ones I don't fit so there's no wonder I'm always doubting things.

I don't really know. I don't know how to think about everything, to be honest.

I think as we grow older, we develop coping strategies to deal with the world. This is especially so if you are on the milder, higher-functioning end of ASD. Which is also why it can be really difficult to spot ASD in adults, because a lot of adults can be so skilled in mimicry that they don't have "obvious" markers for ASD.

Perhaps that's happening with you at the moment - you've been able to develop some coping skills to compensate for some of the difficulties ASD can bring. Your social difficulties do sound like they stem from ASD more than a "personal failing", to be honest. So does the need for more structure in your school life.

I'm not sure if I'm a "typical" Aspie, either. I also have friends - I have quite a few good friends, actually. I consider myself a socially-motivated person, in that I enjoy the company of others and I am often interacting with people in some way, every day - if not face-to-face, then online in chatrooms and forums. I just find people's actions puzzling.

I have everything, some stuff more severely than others. The thing I've learned the most coping strategies for is social skills, most of which I learned through studying books and the internet and then putting what I learned into practice. I still struggle with it and it's hard work, but I try and it has helped.

I am sensory sensitive and get very easily overloaded.

I can't organise my thoughts well at all and have severe problems with executive functioning. I depend very heavily on lists and routines, and I hate depending on them so much but it's the only thing that works.

I get totally transfixed random little details, which I believe is my version of getting transfixed on parts of objects.

I have an obsessive interest in playing piano and organ and I practice them for hours at a time, with no need for breaks, and to the point of excluding everything else.

I can't multitask to save myself.

I have coordination problems that cause me difficulty writing.

I have hyperlexia, a reading disorder.

I used to use echolalia a lot up to my late teens, and now I find myself almost using it but I can stop myself before I do it most of the time.

I stim constantly. If I'm not rocking or jiggling my legs and fidgeting, I'm pulling at some part of my clothes or doing funny things with my face or rubbing my face hard.

I do have a sense of empathy and I understand it better now than I did as a kid. When I was little, I used to be confused as to why someone else's bad luck made me feel bad too. I didn't understand that it meant I was supposed to do something to help the other person. Because it was so confusing, and because it was such an intense feeling to me, I began to try block it out and hide from it, which is what I believe to be the truth behind the perceived "lack of empathy" that non-autistics claim to be part of the syndrome.

I take things literally, though sometimes I don't. I don't pick up on sarcasm well unless someone really puts on the sarcasm tone thick. I sometimes get paranoid and start worrying because I feel unsure whether a person was being sincere or sarcastic, leaving me confused as to what I'm meant to do or say in response. I also don't get when people are joking around with me. I don't get offended, just confused and don't respond because I just don't know what I'm meant to say, and the joker can get annoyed with me because he/she thinks I'm taking it too personally. Even the odd time I do realise what's happening, I still don't know how to respond to keep the joke going, and either don't respond or answer truthfully, which instantly spoils the fun.

Not sure if I'm missing out on something there... But ya, I think I have the whole package, but have learned a lot about hiding it. I fail to hide it sometimes but I don't care as much as I used to about that. I'm ok with being autistic. It's difficult, but I'm not ashamed of it.

I don't think anybody can have all the traits. That's very unlikely. We have 3 confirmed cases of ASD in my family and we're all different. Like one doesn't have trouble making friends, one doesn't have trouble with hugs and kisses, one doesn't have fine motor problems, none of them is sensitive to loud noises.

I'm sure if you got a diagnosis you got enough traits. Maybe you can ask for a re-assessment in a couple years.

I think you can have all the traits, but as you've pointed out the diagnosis doesn't require you to have every single trait. I think I have all the traits, but not everyone who has ASD is going to be like me. Even the way each of the traits is expressed in each person is different! Like the way the sensory processing can be oversensitivity or undersensitivity, or mixed, e.g. oversensitive to light touch, but normally sensitive or undersensitive to pain.

OP, the best thing you can do really is focus on what areas you struggle with and work towards making them better The diagnosis is there as a gateway to services that can help you, and even if it did turn out that it was slightly off the mark, it's still a chance to get what you need to help you with your problems and do make use of it when you need help

Wow, this sounds a lot like me.

I stayed away from social situations and extracurricular activities at school because I knew I didn't know how to act, and when I was in one job I would go home every day and fall apart.

I read a lot of fiction too.

I was diagnosed AS earlier this year.

Trait and narrow topic

I think the traits can be general, but the expression is different in each person. It takes a skilled therapist/diagnostician to zero in to see details individually, and then regroup them for an AS dx, and to diagnose adults is a rare skill.

I never really understood what constitutes a special interest. I have collected stones, but I never read everything there was to know about them. I read all there was to know about dinosaurs at some point, but I never excluded everything else or had to think about it all the time. Same with my current interests. I think about them a lot, but then again, I just think a lot.

I am not bad with people per se. I can make most anyone laugh through self-depreciating wit and wordplay. I even understand and use sarcasm, though I'm not 20/20 on recognising it. My sister is actually jealous of my social skills, but she does not know me very well. I can do kids and old people easily, especially with small talk (I'm naturally curious and generally just keep asking them about what they do and how they do it). I am really bad with peers though. Explicit social relationships are very difficult for me, and I've chased away any number of people that I really liked with my stupidity and blindness.

I have sensory issues, but I don't think I have meltdowns. Sometimes, sensations can completely overload me and I simply can't function and need to go somewhere else to relax (I usually do this by taking some tiny detail and focusing extremely hard on this: last time I overloaded, I went out and took a single leaf and just looked at it for ten minutes until I had calmed down). But I don't throw tantrums because of sensory problems.

I have an extreme attention to detail and often see and hear things others do not. My mind just works differently from others (one of my friends once commented that that was exactly why she liked me so much). I do not give out compliments like candy, but when I say something, I mean it, which makes my praise appreciated.

Damn near all of them. My AS score is 198/200.

I've had all of them at some point in my life. I was born with a few traits, and over time, some got worse, I acquired more of them, and others seem to have faded away.

The most manifested AS trait I have now is a significant decline in my everyday functioning due to not being able to maintain a routine. A few months ago my awkward gestures, body language, and eye contact were most apparent. When I was younger, my most obvious trait was probably my obsessions.

Quite a few (Aspie: 176/200)

Don't laugh, but I'm making a list of my traits.

This has taken a few weeks so far, and will probably go on for several more.

I'll post it here when it is somewhat coherent.