A personal breakthrough in communication

Post Reply New Topic

Wow.

I just had an "in depth" two-way conversation with someone in real time who was actually in the same room as me ... very unusual for me ...

This is the first time I've actually been brave enough, in person, to tell someone that I am having trouble speaking and could I please type (when I say "tell", I mean "type to" because I couldn't speak) because I would really like to talk to them.

To my surprise they took to it wonderfully.

I typed, they read and replied verbally, gave me time to process and then I typed a response while they waited patiently. It was a really uplifting experience to just be accepted like that; and the person said that they were happy to hear what was actually going on in my head for a change

OK, this was someone I trust greatly so it made it a little easier to try this. But it was still terrifying to initiate. But wow. Wonderful experience.

Now if only I could initiate this with everyone. We are actually on a workshop together at the moment and he said I should try it with some people and see how it goes.

I've previously used typing only with my husband, friends who live a distance away and occasionally for very short messages to other people around me at a time when I couldn't speak just to say "I can't talk now, sorry". So I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to take it a step further.

I am happy for you! I wish you more success.

So you asked if instead of talking verbally to each other, you could type things? Was this on instant messenger software?

Thanks for the reminder.
I often have trouble getting the point across in an in-person dialogue.
Part of it is my own communication difficulties.
The other part is that people don't want to hear or understand what I have to say.

I have a divorce coming up. and don't expect to get through it without the stress forcing me to shut down.
The bastard is counting on that.
I won't have a keyboard, but I can bring scrap paper.
Even if they refuse to read what I've written, just the writing would clear my mind enough to get at least some of it said. And it would slow them down so they can't pretend I haven't said anything.

This might work after all.

No. It was in person -this was the breakthrough. My conversation partner was sitting right with me. I was struggling to answer something that he had asked me an happened to have my netbook handy, so I opened notepad and wrote that I was having trouble speaking but wanted to talk to him and would it be OK if I typed. They said "Sure, as long as I don't have to type..."

And so it was. We talked for about an hour. At one point he said "I wish I could type like you!" (meaning fast and accurate). I typed back "I wish I could talk like you!". He said that at least when we were in the same place I was welcome to "talk" like this anytime, and that if I wanted to talk to someone else but wasn't feeling confident enough to type to them then he would act as a "conversation broker" for me ... not quite sure how that would work but it's an interesting concept to explore further....

Honestly it was liberating. The ease with which he accepted this new method of communication with me was astounding - I just wish that others would take to it so easily.

I suppose he has the headstart of knowing that I have an ASD as he is one of the few people I have actually disclosed to. I'm still not quite there with telling people yet ...

I'm really happy for you!

I'm not sure I'll ever understand why someone wouldn't be okay with conversing with someone who needed to type to communicate effectively and comfortably. The point is to exchange ideas and understanding, so it shouldn't matter how a person accomplishes those goals.

I hope that if you are able to try the same strategy with others, you have just as much success!

This is so awesome! Congrats. I am happy for you.

I do feel like if there is a standard advice list, typing to someone, whether they type or verbally speak back should be on the list.

We've definitely had conversation between 3 of us, where my boyfriend and I were both typing and the third person was talking, because typing was easier to do. I forget that its not just normal for people to communicate mostly via computer while in the same room because that's what I do, and forget to give this as advice.


But yay for figuring it out . That's what I do in high emotions too, as well as just normal discussion defaulting to text if there isn't reason that it needs to get a response immediately (though even then sometimes, typing it and then getting the attention of the person is done).

I can usually speak fine, but sometimes I really wish I could do this. I can type almost as fast as I can talk anyway.

I have been IMing or emailing my husband in the same room for years - in fact we got to know each other by IMing across the room (we were on the same degree course)... and it is natural for us to do this with each other.

But it really does seem like it's an odd concept that other people can't get their head around ... I have tried this before with IMing people in the same room, or texting them. And all I've had back from them was a verbal "for goodness sake, we're in the same room!", and a bit of disbelief from anyone else who happens to be around that I would do that...

So like I said, the ease with which the person accepted this was astonishing - how great it would be if everyone were like that. Imagine how much less frustration and stress I would feel.

Yeah, I've had success with this with multiple people as well. The most extreme was the discussion I mentioned before, because that was stressful for all three of us. She was unable to have such a serious conversation in text, and both of us function drastically better in text (he's not as far as self-diagnosed, but uses "probably an aspie" to describe himself), and she was willing to compromise where we'd send responses in text.

It's also something that has actually been discussed by people I know. I know one NT and I can half four hour conversations if one begins in IM, while it'd not last a full half hour speaking. This was even noted in the conversation. Text just makes it easier.

I've found it works best if I say verbally "I need to type, its just easier" if I am questioned, and give a longer description of having a buffer to figure out what I'm saying, being able to type faster than I can speak, so not getting ahead of myself, having the time to think about what I was saying, and such and how much this makes communication easier.

Happy Dance for you!! ! Okay so I never really do a happy dance but still very, very happy that you have had this experience. Keep advocating for yourself!! !