something kind of funny

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I remember before being diagnosed, my cousin asked me with an angry tone.
"why do you take thinks so literaly?"

And my response would be, "why don't you mean what you say?"

Before I was diagnosed, I told my psychologist about a bunch of traits I had that had nothing to do with social anxiety, which is what I thought my problem was. Little did I know that I was reading off a list of the most common AS traits. The lack of eye contact, the inability to read people, the lack of understanding of social rules, the extreme sensitivity to sound and touch, the tendency to think and speak literally, the obsessive interests, rarely recognizing sarcasm, the constant fidgeting, etc. He then brought up AS, which I had never even heard of before. Amazingly, I had brought up these traits with previous psychologists, and none of them had recognized the problem.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Is that really so hard? Why do people always have to play such childish games?

Here’s a one-act play I just wrote. It’s called “What?”

NT: “He kicked the bucket.”
Aspie: “Why was he kicking a bucket?”
NT: “No, he died.”
Aspie: “Oh.”
(later)
NT: “Let’s play kick the can.”
Aspie: “Is that like a suicide pact or something?”
NT: “No, you kick a can.”
Aspie: “Oh.”

I've had:

(when I was eight, before I knew what "sarcasm" meant)
Person: I was being sarcastic!
Me: What? What's that?

Person: You're very blunt, you know that?
Me: Oh.

Person: Your voice is monotonous
Me: Oh.

Person: Do you talk?
Me: Yes.
Person: WHOA! He talked!!

Person: What's up?
Me: The sky!
Person: (mock angry voice) Fine. Be that way.

And much more...