One rule for one, one rule for another

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Do you experience this? Feeling that if you say something, people comment negatively, but if another person says the same thing you said, everyone politely listens and it's appropriate? I think it's partly to do with popularity.

Yes. I'm the Meg Griffin of my family, the #2 to my sister's #1. I often think that I would be backhanded in about five seconds if I said to my sister or my parents what they say to me on a daily basis.

The quote, "it's not what you say, but how you say it" comes to mind here. Unfortunately, it is true.

True, but some people can be as nasty as anything, using that stupid bitchy sort of voice, yet they still get kissed on the foot and looked up at like a god or goddess.

Yes, all the time.

Doesn't matter if you say it in the exact same way as another person either.

I have exactly the same problem. No matter how nicely I try to say something, I am always criticized for being rude. Other people can say what they want, and they are listened to attentively. I gave up talking to most people. I prefer to talk to my dogs. At least they don't nag and criticize. They are always happy to see me.

Sometimes I wonder if it's how it's said. I have noticed people react different to words you use when you say something.

I can't help thinking that the normal people have hidden agendas, have hidden meanings behind what they say, embrace dishonesty when it benefits them, and expect everyone to understand them. I'm the one with a disorder? I suppose that is why my comments or observations are never appreciated.

In social situations, "normals" do have a hidden agenda--acceptance and/or respect. It just depends on what they want to be accepted for, and how warped their personal definition of respect.

Someone with a lot of self-confidence is not going to get angry or upset when someone says something about them that is unflattering. Someone with a fragile ego will.

Thank you for telling me why these people have hidden agendas and ulterior motives. I don't understand how they get respect and acceptance like this.

That's the thing that really gets my dander. People like that.

Less so now, but certainly have experienced this in the past. I think now that I am older and come across as more confident in myself people don't generally succeed in putting me down and if they try then they don't get away with it. Asking things "nicely" can come across as creepy or give the vibe of lacking in confidence so I always avoid that.

The one instance I can think of was when a lecturer kicked off at me because I used the question 'what's the score?' which I regarded as an acceptable thing to say and if any other student had've said it I am sure he wouldn't have made a big deal of it at all. The guy had it in for me all year though because he didn't want to have to make any adjustments or allowances for a disability he couldn't understand

I have always been told that I have to say things to people like Jesus would and to "show the face of Christ". It's just too difficult. I have to be loving and nice. Too much for me.

Of course I experience this; a low-status individual is always wrong. The only way I can be agreed with is to speak up where my status isn't known or is temporarily heightened ( when I'm a customer, for instance).

I saw this a lot in school I would get beaten up or spit on the person that did the assault would get written up without the principal even giving them a hard look. If I fought back or did something as payback for the attack I would get screamed at and even threatened with arrest. I took this crap from 7th to 10th grade until I finally snapped.

Some guy smacked me in the face for saying something about his mother after he smashed my head against the wall so I tackeld him and began choking him they treated me like I was a criminal. He instigated the whole attack by smashing my head into the wall and striking me in front of the class and the teacher no one did anything so I had a violent meltdown because of it and tackled him when he was walking back to his desk. I figured if I choked him into a choking fit I could stomp on him while he was down. I know I was wrong for choking him but this was done out of rage due to the teacher pretending like it did not happen and I was sick of the treatment I was getting. When I struck back the teacher ran out of the room and called the office from another room. One of my friends pulled me off of him. When you treat some like their are a sub-human long enough don't be suprised when they snap and go for your throat. I got suspended for two weeks he only got written up. But everyone in that class learned not to makefun or me or hit me again. The teacher also would call the office quicker when someone messed with me too so it did work out in the end.

I feel dirty.