Do you wander when you get stressed out?

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I was just wondering if others have a tendency to wander or "disappear" when they begin to feel overloaded or stressed out in a situation. In addition, how do you explain yourself when others get angry at you for disappearing?

I though i was the only one who does that, when i get very stressed and i am overwhelmed, and there is no way to deal with the situation i wander off too, get a drink,a pack of smokes, chill down then come home...

Yes, I have a "flee" response to situations like this.

When me and my husband have an argument when I do things wrong. I either just shut down and block things out. Sometime I will just walk away from it and just stay away from him. He gets mad at me for that. There were a few times I literally took off from the house. I left the house on memorial day last year and cried at the nearby park. Then I left to my mothers because I was really upset. This year I walked out the house literally walk like 2 and half blocks. He picked me up at the church where I was waiting for him. He pretty says I am uncaring and I just can't take the emotional stress because I don't know what he wants from me. All he wants is me to be loving and really all I do is I cause him misery

The term 'wandering' implies that one has no idea where one is going. I do not do this. If I'm going somewhere, I have a reason to be there.

I shut down and lock things out. If the location I'm in doesn't allow that because its too loud or I otherwise feel pressured, i might got to the nearest quiet location I know of, or somewhere nearby that's outside, but mostly I shut down.

So it might look like I disappear to others, but its not at all wandering.

As for how to explain, there I'm no help because people have managed to not notice me leaving the room most of these times

If I overload, I get out. I quietly excuse myself (you'd be surprised how many people simply accept it when you say you need fresh air or a walk) and just go and sit somewhere quiet. I also try to find something to look at. Last two times I overloaded, I spent some time looking at the local ants or a leaf I had found. Focusing strongly on details like that is really helpful to me.

When you're my age (56), you get angry at people who think you must explain yourself to them. That's better than telling them they are usually the reason you disappear.

Yes I have and mom got mad at me for it one time and said I only thought of myself.

I like driving around. When that can't happen I deal with it until I can release my self all over the road. yes pun intended. JK GOSH.

yeah, i do disappear, mainly from social events.
however; usually noone really notices that i'm gone, or they notice quite late; when i return (that is, if i return ), then i excuse myself by explaining a bathroom visit.
acually, it's usually true, since the bathroom is my first stop to kill some stress from a situation

if i do actually disappear without returning, noone really asks, if they do, i just say i was tired or something, which is also true usually.

Unfortunately, I'm going through that right now. My boyfriend believes that I do this intentionally to hurt him when that's not the case at all. He even compared me to a textbook example of another AS-NT relationship then asked me if I felt the same but worded the questions in a way that I didn't provide the answers he was looking for. Now he thinks I never feel remorse/guilt for my actions, but I do. Are most AS-NT relationships like this?

Last edited by Yumeji on 04 Aug 2011, 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, of course. I don't just take all the chaos when I could escape through music or daydream or even run away.

Not sure if I'm AS - but...

While I'm not generally one to back down from an argument, I find it very difficult to sit still while arguing. When I'm stressed, or thinking very deeply about something, I often find myself wandering around (pacing in my office, soemtimes through the hall - usually flapping my hands or twisting my fingers). Sometimes I don't realize I've started doing it right away.

Yup! Growing up, I intimately knew the corridors of every school and church I visited, because I would sneak out and walk the building.

Now that I'm allowed to wander as I choose, I do the same in my neighborhood. Walking is a great remedy for being stressed.

It freaks people out when I jump up and down repeatedly, or pace back and forth, so if there are other people around, I will wander as if I am going somewhere, because it doesn't freak people out as much (they will only be freaked out once they see me wandering aimlessly through the same places) sometimes I'll tell people I have short-term memory loss and forgot where I was going, to avoid a long explanation.