Getting the balance right

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How do you get the balance right between telling someone you are AS/ASD and not overly highlighting that you are AS/ASD?

What I mean is when you first discover that you have AS/ASD you suddenly have an explanation of why you are how you are, a wealth of explanations and terminology to use, you're exited and maybe find yourself talking about AS/ASD a lot or you may suffer from post-diagnosis regression, you may spend more time sharing what you've learned about AS/ASD with loved ones and may spend time looking for others who may be AS/ASD.

Where as in the past you had to cope somehow, such as by clamming-up or being wilfully ignorant so you had to have people thinking badly of you or being violent/abusive towards you as a result, but you weren't able to explain this to other, now you're able to explain to people that you may act a certain way or not be able to do certain things because of AS/ASD. You can suddenly educate people on AS/ASD and speak for the AS/ASD community to a point, and you may get a little over-zealous about it all.

See what I mean?
I worry that I mention AS/ASD too much IRL - I have no problem with people knowing I am AS/ASD, I'm of the school of thought that I will let people know when/if they need to know and if they have an issue that's their problem and not mine, but there's a difference between not hiding your AS/ASD and highlighting it too much.

I thought this topic was going to be about physical balance. Mine is awful.

I don't know. I just bring it up whenever I feel like it, but I don't dwell on it.

When I first grasped my diagnosis and all that it applies to me. I had post diagnosis regression for awhile...but in a way it felt good because I did not have to pretend to be NT anymore.
I went around anouncing it to everyone and anyone who sat still for more than 5 seconds. People were often amazed because I "looked normal". However it took a while before all of this died down and I just settled into myself agian.

But dont suppress it, all this is part of the process of accepting yourself as you are. After the post diagnostic dust settles, you will feel much more comfortable with who you are.

There seems to be 2 reactions...one is like yours is to embrace it with great zeal which is a must faster path to self acceptance than the other reaction which is "omg...I'm damaged" That path takes a much longer, and bumpier road to self acceptance.
I think how you react to it has alot to do with your self concept before you were diagnosed.

Jojo

people really have no clue what your dx means. They don't know what autism is more or less how to apply what little they may or may not know.

It may be safer to simply explain whatever it is you are having trouble with in the moment - 'Sorry, I have speech/hearing difficulties.' Keeping it simply doesn't make people uncomfortable with too much information and avoids the stereotypes - hopefully.

Ditto.

The more I think about it, the more I dislike the idea of stereotypes involved in it, even with people I've known for a long time. I do, however, feel like I can simply name symptoms without saying they're because of AS: I can say "I have issues with eye contact," "I am clinically clumsy" or "I have problems reading people's intentions" without feeling like a liar.

Would anyone say something on Facebook? I've messaged 3 people who I know would be accepting but think its a bad idea to announce on Facebook. Part of me wants to tell a few more people I knew better a few years back. One I heard thinks he has some traits and does have quirky status updates.

How would you drop into the conversation? Hi how are you-oh I'm off work with stress partly as I just got diagnosed with Aspergers on top of other things- might not go down well. If I did something weird I could try oh I didn't get that actually I have Aspergers. That relies on me talking to people enough to drop into a conversation and I don't really socialise at the moment. If I was in better contact with these few people I'd tell them.

I think I may have post diagnosis regression (found out June). Especially straight away I started beating myself up (not literally) if I did something I thought was Aspergers and wrong, then went silent and stopped talking or went into a mood. I seemed to be very Aspergian somehow.

idk you have to pick and choose. i limit telling people to friends i see a lot, and then only if its relevant.

I would not put it anywhere online. At that point, anyone who looks can find it. Even private stuff like e-mail or Facebook messages can be shared. Conversation is much harder.

Then again, I'm so paranoid about this kind of stuff that I didn't even use my standard Internet username or avatar here so that nobody could track me down.



If you want people to take it seriously, you need to make it a serious conversation. Like "sit down, I have something to tell you" serious. Casually dropping it in doesn't seem like the best way to tell something like this.

Thanks, it's not like there are many people who you can ask about this stuff. I have an arbitrary set of letters and numbers for a username as incognito!