Actually I did have some jokes. Don't know if they're funny since I'm not really a person to laugh, but oh well here goes...
One day I gave my friends meatball sandwhichs with the meatballs dipped in spaghetti sauce. They ate them, and later they said to me, "Tell me, what's your secret ingredient. These taste really good." My eyes widened as I heard this. "Well, if you want to know," I said, "I just dumped some of my constipated s**t in liquidfied allspice then dumped spaghetti on them."
Doubting Boy
A boy once asked his father, "How did we get so many languages?"
The father said, "Well, son, long ago our ancestors spoke one language and tried to build to build a long tower that would reach to the sky called Babel so we could be like God, but God, knowing our intentions, made us speak into different languages so he could have us to split off to different parts of the earth."
"But wouldn't that make us more like God?" the boy asked.
The father paused for a moment then said, "Well, I guess you could say that."
"And would having different languages allow us to have different ideas, especially different ideas about God?"
"Well, I suppose so."
"And by God making us speak different languages," the boy said, "wouldn't that decreases our chances of having a relationship with him and Jesus Christ?
"If you think about it from that viewpoint, then yes."
The boy reddened in the face and flailed his arms. "No reason why so many people are atheists! God doesn't know jack s**t what he's doing!"