Unfair expectations?

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Do you think its unfair that if someone knocks you about like punches you around the head or shoves you hard that just because your an adult your expected too turn the other cheek and go with the flow if you get what i mean? do you think this is something that aspies are not very good at ? Another theory is that maybe NT people can sense better than someone with AS if a person is very dangerous either by if they have weapons on them or if there very big and are more likely not too react with violence if they know the person threatening them is dangerous.

I just think its not fair that if someone is bullying you, invading your space and manhandling that you should just conform and put up with the punishment. i guess some CBT can teach you conflict resolution in those kind of situations?

Is this your brother being abusive again?

Is this literal? People should not hit or push you period. You should not do nothing or turn the other cheek if they do, you should tell them not to touch you. If someone keeps touching you when they are asked not to, you should run and tell an authority. If you cannot run, fighting back is appropriate. If you choose to fight back, tell the police/teachers, why you felt threatened, why you could not run, that they did not respond when asked to stop, and that they left you no choice but to fight, because it was your only way to avoid bodily harm. Who is bullying you? Anybody who threatens you is dangerous.

I suspect it relates to this, and many similar situations Jamesy has posted about: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3903753.html#3903753

Yeah my brother was being absuive too me yersterday and the day before.

we did not argue today but he was in my face a bit this morning.

worst thing about all this is that my mtoher says too me "Grow up". WOW just because i am a grown up means i have too put with being tormented by somebody EVERYDAY of the week.

Wasn't there a flat available at one point, for your own private use?

Yep but i can't move into cause i haven't got a job for the time being. trying too look for one though.

My 19 year old brohter has a part time pizza delivary job and drives a car. Unfourtnatly since i am the eldest child i am the one that my parents want too kick out first. I guess it does not even cross there minds too move my brother out of the house first. also my brothers job pays bugger all money.

mind you one of the reasons why my parents will not move my brohter into the flat is because he might have all his mates round and ruin the apartment whereas as i would keep it clean.

in late september my brother is starting a college course too train too be a police officer or something like that. hope my brother does not end up murdering someone he arrests.

But your parents actually own the flat, is that right?

Yes they do own the flat....... and?

Let your brother know that if he assaults you again you will call the police, report him, and file charges.

...so they might be able to cut you some slack and let you live there rent-free for a while, to give you a chance to set yourself up independently.
Didn't they offer to do this some time ago?

It will most likely be treated as a domestic dispute between brothers and nothing will happen - except that perhaps Jamesy's brother would resume his "amusements" with renewed vigour.

Why do i have too be the one that lives there first though???? My brother has a car and i don't ( i failed my driving test a million times).

and really so what if my brother is just 19 he is by law an adult. i turn 22 in september as well.

If you get the change you need, what does it matter? Your life can only improve once the abusive relationship with your brother is ended.

Yeah but again i don't see what is so wrong with my brother moving into the flat given that he has a car, a part time job and is more streetwise than me. my brother is immature yes and yeah i guess we are both immature. but at the end of the day me having too move out first cause iam the oldest is just biased and favourtism.

i am sure my brother would LOVE to have his own apartment and have all his mates round. i don't see why my brother does not want too take up the chance unless like me is scared of being independant?


Conrlake on a sidenote my brother said too me "If you call the poilice they will just laugh in your face"

Well, I guess there is nothing wrong with your brother moving into the flat instead of you, because it would at least mean the abuse stops - but since you've already said your parents won't move him into the flat, it's not going to happen and so you're stuck with him.
Unless, of course, you take advantage of an opportunity that's crying out to be used?