Harder than it looks!

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Being on the spectrum obviously i am ecentric in behaviour LOL.

Do you agree that in some ways NT behaviour looks really easy too copy when in reality its very hard for us on the spectrum too behave in that way even when we try hard too?

It would be a lot like faking a yawn, or a sneeze, I imagine.

I don't copy anyone, so I'm less likely to be copying NT's.

I copy NTs. Sometimes it's easy, other times it's hard, depending on what it is. It sometimes just can take more confidence, but unfortunately I lack confidence, so it appears harder for me.

I find no currency in copying the majority. I'd rather just be myself, act naturally and enjoy the things that I enjoy. I don't stim, either. One or two Kinks related comments in a conversation at my clubhouse or with my friends or coworkers is what I call acting naturally. I don't get stuck on that topic, either. I've just got to do the things that make me who I am, and that's a part of who I am.

I wish I could do that, but I can't. People jump right on top of you if you are a tiny bit different. I thought it only happened in school, but I've learnt that it happens throughout life, in fact things get worse because not only conforming is essential in all ages, when you're an adult people expect more out of you, which is hard not just for myself, but for lots of people. When you're still a kid, I know you still have to conform, you only get judged by other kids of your age. But when you're an adult, you get judged by bigger kids and adults too.

Where I come from, it's hard to lose your cool. If you do, you get stared at, ridiculed, named and shamed, and obviously laughed at. Who wants that? I've only lasted this long so far in life by copying NTs, and it's worked. I've got friends, which is what I want. I haven't lost my cool yet (although at the moment everyone's lost their cool in London and Birmingham by rioting and looting the city streets - I bet I'll have better luck there fitting in than I do down here!)

Attack me if you wish. I have my own opinions about autism and copying NTs.

Well I myself am very stubbron, I do not support bullying and to me giving in and acting 'normal' just to appease people that would otherwise treat me badly is just giving people like that more power. I don't walk around wearing a 'I have AS deal with it!' t-shirt or anything. But I am not going to put a bunch of effort into conforming to what people expect just so I don't get made fun of.

Then there is the simple fact that even if I wanted to conform it probably would not happen...because its so different than how my mind works I would be bound to slip up a lot.

Best we can do is mimic. React logically based on what we've been taught is appropiate. It's mentally exhausting.

We will always have to decide whether we want to put forth this huge effort to get accepted.

Of course, we always have the option to be ourselves. The relaxed & confident bull in a china shop.

There are people in the world that do accept others for who they are, there is always that.

True. But those people tend to the super-social types that can talk to anyone. Hate to say it, but after a lifetime of rejection we withdraw to solitary activities and become quite boring. Not the most exciting option for someone who can fit in wherever they want.

Sometimes if you're lucky, one of these great people will help introduce you to larger groups. In that case it's in your best interest to be careful since you're now outnumbered by those who won't accept you as you are. However, the people who do are there too since that's where the fun is.

What I'm trying to say is there's no way of getting around people who judge harshly. They're everywhere.

Yes I know but I don't see myself ever wanting to totally fake it, or even being able to come off as normal if I did want to......so that's just something I have to deal with. But I have to keep in mind not everyone is like that and there are some people I get along with.

Lots of people on the spectrum couldn't fake it if they wanted to. The better option seems to be to learn how to communicate effetively and end up seen as a harmless eccentric.

I admit if I am walking around alone downtown I prefer to be seen as a harmful eccentric, that way no one tries anything...and this is kind of immature but I like to scare the yuppies by moving further out of the way when they try to go out of their way to walk their kids through my ciggerette smoke so they can give me that nasty how dare you blow smoke at us look.

I think we can always try to copy, but making it look natural is the trick for it to be effective. THAT is hard.

Emulating NT behavior is difficult, but I can communicate properly when I need to.