Hi. I am Miah, and I am a newbie here. I have always been weird in various ways, but as I am 32, and was always highly verbal, I was never diagnosed with anything as a kid. It has been weighing on my mind a lot lately (as in I have been obsessing over it) that I would like to know for sure if my weirdness is diagnosable.
Are there any generalized very inexpensive or free resources available to adults to obtain diagnosis?
The rest of this isn't so much a question, as just rambling that I've wanted to share for a long time, but have not had anyone that might understand to share it with.
my oldest son was last tested when he was three. He tested as having significant autistic traits, but he had no receptive/expressive language delay, and although he rarely made eye contact he was very friendly, so he was not diagnosed. He ended up with diagnosis of severe fine motor delay, mild/moderate gross motor delay, Sensory Integration Disorder, Developmental Coordination Disorder, Severe Phonological Disorder (since resolved and related strongly to his first pediatrician's refusal to let him have a frenectomy, or tongue clipping), normal IQ, and low muscle tone in his trunk.
He's eleven now, and still has the mild/moderate gross motor delay (he's getting therapy twice a week for range of motion in the arm he broke last year, and while he's there, they are doing some general strengthening and coordination work). He also still has severe delay in visual integration. He's always had terrible trouble with writing, which I have never pushed too hard, but he is also having trouble learning to type as an alternative to writing.
He does something while he talks that makes him very hard to understand, especially if he on the phone. I had his speech tested recently, and he came out as normal in his ability to make sounds, but the way he spaces his words makes it hard to understand him. He also scored very low on the ability to sustain conversation, to know how to initiate a conversation, to know what to include to let the other person know what he was talking about (as in he expected them to know what he knew, and so left out the intros or the conclusions). Also, that he knows what sarcasm is, but is very unable to understand when and how to use it. And that he has a serious problem with being able to tell when it is appropriate to make rude noises/boy jokes. He wasn't doing those things for attention or to be bad, he just doesn't understand the rules for when they are okay, even the tester picked up on that.
He still takes many things literally, and is a lousy liar, though he does occasionally try. He spends hours making dragons and fairies out of pipe cleaners or reading about fantastical creatures, including super heroes, but dragons are his favorite.
There are many things that I can explain to him, so some things he does get. For instance he told me this morning, "Mom, I don't know how to smile without showing my teeth." (his smiles generally look like someone passing gas). When I said something similar to my mom when I was around 13-15, she didn't understand at all how I could not know that. But for him, I can explain how I taught myself to smile in a way that looks like other people's smiles by using pictures and practicing in the mirror (I also practiced laughing and got feedback from family members until it sounded normal). When he asked why I would want to go to that much trouble, when the important people like me, his dad, brothers, and neighborhood friends know what his version of a smile means, I explained that smiling is something that people expect you to do pretty often, and not looking normal while doing it can make other people uncomfortable. While he might not have anyone now that he cares about making normal smiles for, it might come in handy when he has to deal with bigger groups of people who don't know him well. His conclusion was that that was something he would probably work on when he got older and wanted a job.
I am fairly certain that this isn't the kind of conversation that people typically have with eleven year old boys.
Anyway, after much discussion with my husband, we have decided to go ahead and pursue a diagnosis for the eleven year old. He has been homeschooled for the last four years. There are a group of other boys in our neighborhood that he plays with, but any differences he shows are muted by the varying ages of the kids (3-12), and that the others are highly motivated to keep being able to play and avoid boredom. He also sees kids at the homeschool group classes and meetings, church, and 4-H. What I'm getting at here, is that even though he is around other kids fairly regularly, he really hasn't realized that he is different. He's not been exposed to cliques or bullying since he was seven, and he didn't understand it then. Our discussion about whether to pursue diagnosis centered around whether it would be better to have it there available for help with services to get him independent after high school, and so he'll know when he does notice, or to not pursue it and let him hold on to that thinking that he is normal. The appointment is a few months out.
I suppose the conversation about smiling is a good indication that he is starting to think about the differences, so I guess our decision was a good one.
I have finally arrived at a question in the ramble. If anyone has any hints on strategies for motivating him toward his school work I'd love to hear them. He is nearly unbearably slow in especially anything to do with math or writing. The thing that I would most like to hear, though, are specific things that would help improve his ability to problem solve on little things like, the laundry soap isn't in its normal spot on the shelf, my favorite cup has been moved (there is a three year old tornado known as my youngest child that also lives here.), I ran out of drink before the movie ended, my pencil lead broke, etc. His response is invariably to ask someone else (usually me) what he should do now, step by step.
Anyway, thanks in advance, and nice to meet you all.
08 Aug 2011, 5:11 pm
Do you know what his interests are? Use his interests to get him interested in learning
