I read my diagnostic evaluation today.

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Well, about a third of it. There wasn't much to it, but the description stood out.

I was described as:

* Making very little eye contact and watching the clock
* Flicking my fingers almost constantly, with faster flicking when I got excited
* Animatedly flapping my hands
* Showing very little emotional affect or facial expressions. I barely smiled at humor.

That is actually a lot more stimming than I remember doing at the appointment. I do remember spending most of it looking out the windows or watching the clock. I am typically completely unaware of my lack of emotional affect: I know I don't show much emotion but I never think about it when talking to people.

I was also described as "articulate and well-spoken," which is probably good because nearly everything I said I had typed out the day before.

How do you speak when you don't plan out the words the day before?

Was this for your Aspergers diagnosis? Or was this for something else that you did even more recently?

I should be getting my report back in a few weeks. I am pretty eager to read it, actually...

When I go from scripted to not scripted it's like hitting a speed bump at 80 miles an hour. I go from articulate to partially verbal. My therapist says she can tell when it happens because I barely speak.

Oops, missed this earlier:

This was for my original Asperger's diagnosis.

Yup, me too.

Same here. I had to have a conversation with someone the other day. I had it scripted - the important points I needed to get across. He veered from the script by asking a question that was relevant and which I *know* the answer to but which I had not scripted in advance. There was a train wreck in my head and the words didn't make it out at all. I just kind of stumbled and said "OK" (which was not an appropriate answer to the question that was asked) and wandered off.

Of course, the problem was he didn't know the script ...

I don't know how many times I've been in a discussion that turns a bit heated and I know information that could defuse things but I don't say it right away because it's not part of my scripts. When I do manage to get it out, I'm always asked "Why didn't you say so sooner?" and I really never had an answer.

i had a simular experience when i looked at some childhood videos of myself, i indeed stimmed a lot more and was way more detached then i am now.
this motivated me to re-read my own evaluation, but since i keep that at my college room (where i need it the most), and i'm at my parents over the summer i have to wait a few more weeks before being able too...

Sometimes I wonder how I would look on a video recording doing my usual daily stuff. I guess it would be a shocking experience, unless I was prepared to see weird things...


Well, it's probably better than blabbing without much consideration, this is what I often do. I would be too sloppy to think out everything in advance. And I must come up with something to say when it's unexpected by me anyway, I suppose. However, I'm better at saying or discussing something when I think it over in advance (and put it into words). Without that, I have a hard time to express my thoughts. Usually I have a deep sigh or pause and try it anyway.

I actually did some blabbing too, but most of what I said was scripted out. I do not always script things out that carefully so I may be rather bad at explaining myself.

At this point I can clearly explain that I am autistic because I've been over the ground so many times, but if someone asks me a question like "Do you think you had trouble with school because you were bored?" and I have nothing prepared to explain it. I should probably do that.