Working with someone who has Asperger's

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I am really good friends with someone who has Asperger's...and we also work together.

In what we do, we have to make a lot of decisions daily and have to agree on them, but that does not always happen easily. When my friend may suggest something I am not keen on, and I tell him that, he takes it more of a personal attack on his abilities, rather then when it really is just me offering suggestions or offering an opinion. Instead of taking feed back, it always turned into him attacking me for soemthing - a defense mechanism becasue he thinks I have attacked him.

Is there any advice on what I should be doing to better to communicate with my friend/work partner when there is something I am not keen on with out setting him off thinking its a personal attack?

Thanks

Wow, I guess this is what I do to my NT work partner. I often take alternate suggestions as a personal attack. I take everything personally.

...but it does depend on the circumstances. Sometimes I ask for another opinion, and other times I've made up my mind. Once I've made up my mind, it's nearly impossible to change it.

For me to consider a different idea, it needs to be an idea I think is better than mine and must be presented it in a way that is gentle* and gives me a clear reason why their idea is better.

Is it the type of work where you can draw a rough picture to make your case?
Don't assume your work partner already can see what you're talking about and why it would be better.


What I mean by presenting the idea gently:
Rather than saying, if you do this it will be better because-----
try saying:
If the project is like this it might be better because-----


You just forced me to think about how someone would work better with me...interesting.

One other thing -
I think people with Asperger's prefer to work alone, but it's less lonely when there's someone else to share ideas with.

You socialize with him outside of work? I very rarely socialize with anyone I work with outside of work. I get along okay with my work partner, but once in a while he says something that gets under my skin. I have to remember my feelings are more sensitive, and I try to brush those comments off but it's not easy sometimes.


Make sure he feels like you are a team and support his good ideas; I think he'll likely reciprocate if he trusts you.

Hmm, sometimes I feel Co-workers are too critical, myself. Most of the times I'm miss-reading the. But sometimes I do get some unfair crap thrown at me. One time I made a customer of our store angry, because I gave her the advice/reccomendations that my manager wanted me to. Well, she sttomped over to him & accused me of "being to rough" with a blasted goldfish of all things. And my Manager fell for it! Made me demonstrate how I bag fish. Sheesh..

Sincerely,
Matt

When people are approaching me with suggestions or alternatives I want them to say something like "You got to present your idea and now I'd like to present mine. Then we can talk and come to a decision together." Watch your tone of voice. I'm more likely to take it better if we're working on a project and not face to face. Eye contact makes things more threatening to me.