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Hotura
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15 Aug 2011, 11:37 am

I have no clue what to do about telling my mom and younger sister that I possibly could have Asperger's? Really I don't want to tell them or anyone that I could possibly been what is going on in my life. More that my husband wants to tell them because they treat me so differently by getting annoyed at me, telling me to grow up, and calling me weird. But I tell him it will be hard to tell them since I have not been diagnose and they are both RNs. And its hard to convince someone without proof. And I really don't think telling them to read Aspergirls is going to convince them of that either. I am more afraid that they would just laugh at him and hurt him, and just blow him off. All my mom will say I need to be on prozac for my mood swings or when I go off the "deep end". I guess really the real question is should I let my husband tell my mom and younger sister that it is why I am not like them or just keep the subject silence?

* I have tried to look for someone for a diagnosis but here in Ohio a lot the places here only deal with children and adolescents. I have had no luck with finding someone for adults.



jedaustin
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15 Aug 2011, 12:32 pm

There has to be somewhere; I found one here in AZ. As an adult I self diagnosed at around 40 but people didn't really take it seriously until I was went in for a formal diagnosis (43) and it was confirmed (AS+ADHD). Even with a formal diagnosis it doesn't mean they'll accept it but I wouldn't worry too much about people that don't accept you even if they are relatives :)
Yes.. I'm not normal; but why would I want to be normal?
No one normal ever changed the world.

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Hotura
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15 Aug 2011, 1:57 pm

My husband as a director of one of the counties health departments and he found no one in the area that deals with adults. We even ask a branch from the hospital but they won't see you if you don't have a family doctor with them and just told us it is only found in children ><. We even asked the last psychologist I went to who is in Columbus, OH and she didn't know anyone that dealt with it adults :/

I really don't know because every time we got there to see my mom. He wants to tell them and I am like no. I can see his point to why he wants to tell so they can understand and not react how they do normally. Thanks for the advice :)



jedaustin
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15 Aug 2011, 2:04 pm

I didn't see a need to get a formal diagnosis until I started having trouble with a few people at work . Once I had the diagnosis it did help me in ways I didn't expect like being more accepting of myself. This place and a few others like it made me feel less alone in the world too.
From my understanding some psychologists/psychiatrists can also do diagnosis; you might try that avenue.



SilentScream
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15 Aug 2011, 2:29 pm

Your husband wants to tell them. Let him.
It may not solve things the way he wants, but the man has a right to try.
And he can stay frustrated at them and their behaviour, not become frustrated at you for stopping him telling them.

They may or may not believe him. Even if they do believe him, I suspect there will be "Yes, but she's so (list of complaints), which is nothing to do with the condition". This is because:
- it's shock to them
- the fact that they're in the medical profession will stand against you, as there will be a part of them that will take it as a challenge to their abilities (not your fault, but they have egos)
- decades of ingrained behaviour on how to treat you will be woven into so many aspects of them, you, your usual interaction with them that even with the best will in the world (where they magically apologise for everything), it will be impossible to change overnight.

Good luck. At least your husband is on your side, and wants to fight your corner. In that respect, you've got a good man in your life there. :)



LornaDoone
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15 Aug 2011, 3:48 pm

To the OP: There are 2 places in Columbus area that do adult evaluations for autism. Im not sure what your particular issue is with finding a place. Is it insurance or have you been turned down already?


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Hotura
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15 Aug 2011, 4:44 pm

Really who are they? pm me, please :) Because I have been looking around on the web for people who do evaluations on adults. Currently I am unemployed and my husband is the sole income of our household and we both do not have health insurance. I am tired of feeling like I am on balance beam knowing or not.



Aspieallien
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15 Aug 2011, 5:48 pm

I have had the same difficulty in Australia trying to find support and services for adult, it’s like we don’t exist. There seems to be plenty of services, resources and support groups geared toward children and parents of kids on the spectrum but not so much adults. Hopefully this will improve as public awareness increases.

My experience with disclosing my diagnosis to my family certainly wasn’t a positive one. They didn’t at all want to know about it and questioned the validity of my diagnosis. They didn’t seem to want to acknowledge it yet they seemed to prefer to condemn and disapprove of certain aspects of my behaviour and traits. It really doesn’t bother me much now because I know that my intentions are always good and my heart is in the right place. If others won’t listen and choose to misinterpret me because they won’t acknowledge the truth then that’s not my fault. It’s what you think and know of yourself that counts, my diagnosis gave me a sense of validation.


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Hotura
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15 Aug 2011, 10:23 pm

Thank you all for the advice and tips :)