Exaggerations in level of functioning?

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Most of us here have probably seen videos of people with AS. It is my assumption that these are exaggerated for effect. I thought it would be interesting to see how well aspies on WP can function. Or at least, how well we think we can function.

For me it varies widely.

I'm not comfortable trying to act like an NT, I'm not comfortable with anyone trying to be anyone but themselves.

However, for level of capability...
-If someone triggers my "but you aren't saying what you mean" thing, I can't help but point out where what they are saying and what they mean. I am able to pick up what they mean usually, though I first go through the literal, but an completely unable to keep myself from correcting them without someone interfering and stopping it.
-I have migraines. I need to be obsessive about some sensory sensitivities to the level that really bothers some people in order to prevent migraines.
-If i'm going to high emotions I can't hold it off and recharge later. I either am visibly upset or retreated terribly.
On the other hand I have gone through college and had people tell me that they were surprised I was on the spectrum. I have a relationship, don't have hugely visible stims for simple interactions (wrapping my fingers around each other, is probably the most likely to be seen one), and can have conversations with people without looking too odd.

It's a question of what you're looking for. Anyone who knows the spectrum identifies me as being on the spectrum, people who've not studied it at all might not.

However, since I only tend to find certain sets of people worth bothering with on an emotional level, its not been bad.


I'd probably put myself at the level "I try to act like an NT, but sometimes I appear to be weird and aloof. It is mentally draining, and I need time afterwards to recover. I find relationships with NT's moderately difficult to form and maintain." even though I don't find that an accurate description.

Its not about it being mentally draining or needing time afterwards, so much as I can't pretend to not be who I'm not, but I am not more visibly autistic than that level. I wouldn't put myself to social mistakes frequently (though if you hit certain triggers frequently it will be frequent), and the situations I don't know how to handle are often not visible to the general public.

For the details given in the description I'm in between that one and the one below it, but for ability to blend in I'm most likely at that level. NTs tend to think I'm a geek but not more than a geek.

Not sure whether to vote for the level that seems accurate with a poor description, or other.

In social events, I tried to blend and try to act like one of the crowd. But what I think and what I do are two different things. Currently now I have caused a rift between me and my hubby All I can do it tell myself he hates me and such instead of actually believing him that he loves me Sometimes I wish I normal and not this who is "social backwards".

In most of the self made videos of people with AS, or who say they have AS, the people seem rather normal. Of course one must take into account that they are making the videos of their own according and without the presence of others.

In most of the videos I see of people with AS that were filmed for news segments or documentaries, the people seem awkward. This is likely due to the fact that the producers will choose the most visibly awkward person they can, and the individual is likely nervous or stressed.

You might recall Red Shirt Guy on youtube. In the video of him at the anime convention, he's distracted and nervous and appears awkward. In his self made video he appears rather normal and very well spoken.

Of all of the individuals with AS I've met in real life, some of them seemed rather normal and others were visibly socially awkward but not in a way one would associate with autism. They simply appeared shy or "nerdy".

And this is my exact reason for creating this thread.

I'm somewhere between these two (voted for the first one):

"I try to act like an NT, but sometimes I appear to be weird and aloof. It is mentally draining, and I need time afterwards to recover. I find relationships with NT's moderately difficult to form and maintain."

"My ability to adapt to an NT world is limited. It seems that no matter how hard I try I can never appear to be normal. I make social mistakes frequently, and I often have no idea how to handle many situations. As a result I may have many issues in life."

I selected the second option, but I was doubting between the second and third. I guess the second feels best because I know how to manage these things. I don't go to busy environments that make me feel like I'm a complete alien. If there are social occasions, I don't stay for the entire time but I work in a moment for myself to recharge. If I start overloading, I leave. I find friendships rather difficult to maintain, however, as I'm unsure what the social requirements are.

I picked 'I try to act like an NT, but sometimes I appear to be weird and aloof. It is mentally draining, and I need time afterwards to recover. I find relationships with NT's moderately difficult to form and maintain.' even though I seldom make an effort to act NT. When I do, however, that statement fits me perfectly. And I only seem to be able to form friendships with weird people.

By the way, my Dad noticed that Temple Grandin looks more autistic when giving talks to veterinarians than when she's giving autism talks. He suspected that she feels more comfortable among veterinarians and therefore fakes NT less.

The third option is the most accurate for me. But I have more than "moderate" problems forming and maintaining relationships. This is the biggest problem AS presents for me. It's like NT's just sense that there's something "off" about me- most of the time I have no idea what I've done that makes people avoid or drop a relationship with me.

I selected other:

I never try to act NT. I used to try but it never worked because I am just too unusual. Now I just carry on with life autism and all and forget what everyone else thinks of me.

I am probably in between:

My ability to adapt to an NT world is limited. It seems that no matter how hard I try I can never appear to be normal. I make social mistakes frequently, and I often have no idea how to handle many situations. As a result I may have many issues in life.

and

I absolutely suck at being an NT. It is impossible for me. I may or may not be nonverbal, and cannot function without support.

I chose the latter of the two because I cannot fake NT. I am verbal, but I am a terrible communicator (I went to a funeral today for my uncle--I have no anxiety about being around people, but when it came time to speak to them, I just stood there in silence and could not say a word. I was not emotional--internally sad, but not physically so that it prevented me from speaking. I could not offer any words.) I am very dependent upon my parents, and other people when I need to be. But I think I kind of fall in the middle because I think to people who do not know me or who do not know me well know I am weird, awkward, aloof...maybe some of them even see me as rude, but I don't think would come up with "autistic" unless I tell them. There are also a few things I can do along even though I require so much support in my life (ie. I can drive, I do go to university, I do have a casual job, and I can go to the store alone, etc--if I am left alone to be in MY world, I function. If I am pushed into the NT world, I cannot function).

! !! !! !! !! !

I voted for "I try to act NT and sometimes seem weird and aloof".

I didn't think that would get so many votes here.

I can do it with ease, also, but it is draining, and I can't do it with ease forever.

MUCH longer than several hours lol...maybe a few months o_O But that's it. I need alone time.

I'm like half NT lol. But when I am at my most convincing, most people really can't tell that I have serious trouble with socializing sometimes. It makes it even more weird when I have to "drop out' for awhile. People don't get it at all.

So, I think that we can all agree based on the results here that the term "mild aspie" is garbage. At least in terms of being able to socialize, 96% of us seem to be impaired at least somewhat.

That is very true. I know exactly what you mean.

I am between options 2 and 3 I think. In a small group of just a couple people I can generally hang in there pretty well but it gets tiring. In larger groups (3-4)+ I feel much less capable and very distant and strained. In large groups I feel almost completely incapable of talking, finding it impossible to keep pace with the conversation. I am able to make friends/acquaintances, but I am not sure that I really understand how to maintain friendships at all... or at least that is what the results of my friendships suggest.

Interesting!


PS: I wish there were a way to do polls with continuous variables instead of discrete options. I almost always find that two or more options in a poll can describe different nuances of my behavior.

I think the "mild aspies" are just the ones with the best coping mechanisms or the ones who aren't forced into the NT world. I study at a university and will work for a research institute soon, where logic is seen as a huge asset. I can basically avoid the NT world as much as I like. I just don't need to go to the places that make me feel awful and where I feel like I can never be "normal".

But wouldn't even the term "mild aspie" indicate some extent of impairment? If NO impairment is present, wouldn't it just then be "NT"?