Do you think this is the right way to handle this situation?

Post Reply New Topic

My son had a good day today, but after his best friend was visiting today for almost an hour, he suddenly became overstimulated.....I think what caused the overload was:
*He went to put on to cold T shirt...it's VERY cold today and he wanted to dress in his favourite summer T shirt (sensory to cold)
*He hurt his hand terribly while jumping on the trampoline with his friend
*Dog kept on barking
* His friend didn't want to play his favourite playstation game, he misinterperated this behaviour as being rude, hurtfull towards him.

So this resulted him in screaming, getting irritated towards every one...so he went and hide under the small table in the portal....I didn't know what to tell his friend, my son didn't want him to leave....so I told his friend that my son just needs some time to relax a bit, so he can just watch tv for a while. I tried to explain to my son that he can't play while lying under the table.....He later came into the room where his friend was watching tv , climbed up on the cupboard trying to hide behind the microwave oven...I really didn't know how to handle the situation...so I told him that his friend might think he is acting funny...I then went to sit with his friend...after a while he came to join us...being more relaxed and started interacting again.

What I thought to do is to maybe discuss all that had happened with him and that we both go together tomorrow to go and look for a small tent to put in his room...do you think this is a better, more social exceptale plan? Any other thoughts on what to teach him how to handle this situation when he is maybe not at home?

Does your son seem aware of what's happening for him when he gets overwhelmed like that? Meaning: does it seem like he's aware of how he feels at the time or later on?

For your son to be able to use any strategies you teach him, he's got to be able to identify when he feels overwhelmed (I mention this because it's something I couldn't do as a kid)--if he can't do that yet, it might be something to help him with.

I think your tent idea is great--like a calm-down space where he can go when he's overwhelmed, right? Maybe you could work with teachers/other parents (and your son, if he wants a say and can communicate his ideas) on setting up a similar kind of calming/quiet-space for him in other environments and teach him to go to there when he's overwhelmed.

I'm not sure if he understands.....I have to start discussing this with him. I'm not sure how to explain to him that this behaviour is inappropriate without making him feel "stupid'(his words).....But I do want to protect him from being teased or making fun of when he acts inappropriate!
He ussually just say he feels irritaed or angry...he is improving, during the weekend he said his friend makes him feel lonely and sad.
He doesn't have that much abstract thoughts and words yet and definitly no insight in his inappropriate behaviour...he is only 7yr old...almost turning 8.

It might help if you can find a way to show him that you understand why he does these things--because even though they aren't socially appropriate actions, they're natural responses to feeling overwhelmed and upset. (Screaming and hiding probably seems perfectly logical and understandable to him, and if you show that you appreciate the reasons for his actions, he might be less likely to judge himself.)

Maybe you could try teaching him about "appropriate" hiding places? If he's ever seen you, or another person go to their room or to another quiet place away from others, you might try to compare this to what he does when he goes to hide under tables or behind furniture. That way you could explain that everyone needs to hide sometimes, but that there are certain places that are okay to hide in, and others that are not. (You might need to explain why some places are ok and some aren't in a very concrete way.)