Anyone else can't get out of the house?

Page 1 of 1 [ 12 posts ] 

nerdymama
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 325

18 Aug 2011, 7:43 pm

It took me 6 hours to get out of my house (already had everything ready to go at the door) just to go to the grocery store which is a 10 minute walk away... all of this because of anxiety..

Is anyone else like this? Any techniques that help get over this kind of anxiety?

How frusterating....



jc6chan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,257
Location: Waterloo, ON, Canada

18 Aug 2011, 7:55 pm

Well, can you elaborate on what is it exactly you're anxious about?



nerdymama
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 325

18 Aug 2011, 8:20 pm

It might be difficult to describe as its a lot of different things.. but I have a hard time going out when I dont need to be somewhere at a specific time (I make it to work and appointments on time).. I also have anxiety when it comes to neighbors.. They like to sit outside in their front yards and due to many failed attempts at small talk its become awkward and embarrasing to walk by.. I live in a busy area and pass many people on the street which also creates anxiety .. I feel like I draw attention to myself because of odd behaviour... the shopping part is not bad.. but the checkout makes me feel awkward again as I try to gather my things with the line building up behind me.. then I speed walk home in a panic...
^^^thats a typical trip to the grocery store..

I also cant get out just to enjoy myself either.. I dont fully understand that one though...



jc6chan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,257
Location: Waterloo, ON, Canada

18 Aug 2011, 8:44 pm

nerdymama wrote:
I have a hard time going out when I dont need to be somewhere at a specific time (I make it to work and appointments on time)

Try to set a specific time (eg, 10:30am) of when you need to get to somewhere. However, be careful not to stress out if you don't make it in time.
nerdymama wrote:
I also have anxiety when it comes to neighbors.. They like to sit outside in their front yards and due to many failed attempts at small talk its become awkward and embarrasing to walk by.. I live in a busy area and pass many people on the street which also creates anxiety .. I feel like I draw attention to myself because of odd behaviour


Are there any side streets (that are less busy) you can walk through to avoid the crowds? I suggest not doing this during the nighttime (since thats when you would want to be in areas with at least a certain amount of people to be safe).



nerdymama
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 325

18 Aug 2011, 8:51 pm

Ill give it a shot.. :)



Jory
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Jun 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,520
Location: Tornado Alley

Negolin
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 175

18 Aug 2011, 8:58 pm

get used to it...

to be honest, humans were never meant to live amongst strangers and have thousands of neighbors...



nerdymama
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 325

18 Aug 2011, 9:10 pm

Haha.. Negolin.. funny way to put it.. though true..

The uncomforatable feeling around people I dont know may continue.. but 6 hours to make it out to the grocery store is a problem.. so some sort of coping strategy needs to be made.. My body and mind might be best suited for a different environment (one without so many unfamiliar neighbors).. but this is my reality



cozysweater
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 576

18 Aug 2011, 9:19 pm

I've gone through times like that. For me, that's what happens when I'm in the grips of a depression. If that's you too, it might be worth talking to someone professional about it. I've had good success using low doses of an antidepressant to get me through the worst of those times.

That said: I'm always awkward and uncomfortable around the stoop-sitting neighbors. I give them a small nod and smile and say "hi" and keep moving. It's like ripping off a bandaid, it only hurts for a second.

To get myself out of the house when I feel stuck... I usually aim for uncrowded times at the stores or build a treat/reward into the project. If I'm feeling stuck sometimes it's enough to promise myself cake. Or remind myself how good it feels to have the trip over and done with and return to the safety of my lair.

I've found that I beat myself up less if I can combine activities and make a plan. Hit the grocery store and the dry cleaner on the way home from work. Drop by the library on the way home from the farmers market after swinging by the hardware store. I can plan a route and kind of figure out a time frame for the discomfort. Also, it saves gas so I can feel virtuous. Granted, I don't have kids. I assume they add extra trips and obligations.

If I find myself teetering on the edge of an anxiety attack when I'm out I promise myself things like "you'll be out of here and in the car/bike trail in 10 minutes". Self-talk can be really helpful.

Or maybe just buy one roll of toilet paper at a time. You'll have to go out. :)



nerdymama
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 325

18 Aug 2011, 9:54 pm

I don't think Im depressed.. Im in a bit of a difficult situation in life (relationship issues, im trying to balance part-time school/part-time work/ and taking care of my 2 1/2 year old) but I have a very positive outlook the majority of the time.. and I am seeing a doctor and am trying antidepressents (havent found anything effective yet).. but I think finding and understanding plans to work through this.. developing tools to get through it will be the much better option in the long term

cozysweater.. Your post was very helpful. I can see the self talk to prevent a panic attack being very useful...So far rewarding myself for going out has led to weight gain (oops).. but maybe ill play with the idea a little :)
...and that toilet paper comment is hillarious.. If nothing else works.. thats the new plan!



Bloodheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,194
Location: Newcastle, England.

18 Aug 2011, 10:28 pm

I don't suffer agoraphobia...I also didn't used to be like this...I am now.

It's not so much that I can't motivate myself to leave the house or that I'm scared per say, but there is anxiety there that makes it hard to leave the house - and not just because of an obsessive need to check in mirrors, change clothing if something doesn't look right, and a need to pee every five second before leaving the house (excuse the TMI, lol).

I have to plan my days in advance, even then it doesn't always go to plan because I always know that plans could change depending on the weather, when I went in the bath/shower, what I have to do, when I wake up, when I need to sleep, when I need to have my meals, what I may have to do the following days, what staff are in what store (some I dislike seeing/some I like seeing), what I can get in what shops that day, what I look like that day, whether I go for a walk or not, what I have in the house to eat, when/if my boyfriend is coming over, etc. There are too many possibilities, and in part the anxiety comes as a result of that, so when leaving the house I'm never quite sure how it's going to pan out...THEN there are issues such as if I run into someone who talks to me, if local morons shout abuse at me, etc.

It's a lack of control for me I think, and certainly down to my current situation (long-term unemployed, zero social interaction, stress, etc.)


_________________
Bloodheart

Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.


LadySera
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 418

18 Aug 2011, 10:41 pm

Yes, my social anxiety frequently borders on agoraphobia. Plus I'm poor. if I'm out of the habit of doing certain things then it's not unusual for me to only go places 2-3 times a week. Of course not going anywhere makes it worse & me more stressed when I do go. (Having one of these days right now, xd).