Should I just stop with the lies and the act?

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I drink a lot, I use cannabis daily, I smoke a few cigerettes every day, and I ...in short I self medicate with various legal and illegal substances. When I am sober I feel like I can only really experiance numbness, depression an anxiety. If I drink I can enjoy feeling generally good for a while. If I smoke weed I am more able to distract myself or feel more relaxed. And there are usees for other things. Am I a total druggie loser because I cannot experiance many feelings people take for granted without drugs or have I just fallen too far into self medication.


I feel like I am , not worth anything so the fear of severe consequences or death do not interfere with my goals. But I can't deal with it. Whenever I am around family members that could never understand.............i feel like I have to fake it but I have ran out of the energy to fake it, I honestly don't understand what they want me to do.

you need to get into the habbit of doing something creative when you're completely sober. at least once a week or once a day if you can. whatever you do the rest of the time doesn't matter. As long as you are not harming anybody you have nothing to feel ashamed about:)

Hi Sweet

As my day to day job I work with your age group that have similar things that you have described happening to them.

You are asking on a forum if you should change, why do you think you asked? Maybe it is because you know that life can be better than it is now, or maybe inside you there is a hope that it can be

No matter how many people want you to change it can't happen unless you want it

One of 3 things is going to happen to you, either you are going to keep going down this path and grow into a 30, 40, 50 year old substance reliant adult who gradually loses the ability to do the basic things you are doing now, you may get to 40 or 50 and make the changes then, but by then you will have lost a part of you that you will never get back

You may take a bad batch, or hit the limit and take the severe consequence of death that you described and then of course you will no longer be suffering as you are, you will be out of it just leaving the people who care about you to pay the price

Or you will get to a day in the next couple of years where you realise actually I want something different, I want to find out if there is better. (I can tell you from experience that there is although its down to you to chose whether or not you believe) From the things you have written in your post I think there is a possibility you are close to this conclusion, so maybe that day is today.

When you decide to make a change it's important to know you don't have to do it on your own, there are ways to slowly bring down your intake to make it easier, and yea life is better without it.

I don't know where you are from but by your way of writing I think there is a good chance you are in the UK, if I am right then CRI are really good with support, they are non judgemental and let you work at your own pace, I have seen them help many people turn their lives around

I hope it all works out well for you, here is the link to CRI just in case its useful: CRI LINK