Do people flip out on you when you screw up?

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user1001
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16 Aug 2011, 12:58 pm

I am 17 and really gullible and have ASD and I don't know why but whenever I make a mistake and I show some other peer of mine to help me they yell at me because of what a screw up or a "Epic fail" I was doing. I get comments like "Dude oh my god this was so easy! How could you mess this up?" I have terrible coordination and I can't do something without messing up I also dose off into space frequently and I don't focus very well. Like in cooking class whenever I put the wrong ingredent in something my group yells at the top of their lungs about what a terrible job I did or how I need to be paying better attention. In math when I make a simple mistake like on one of the projects I for some reason was confusing tally marks with check marks and one of the students keeped on yelling at me and would go like this "Dude oh my god(Facepalm) you need to get this right" and whenever someone reminds me of how much I screw up it lowers my self esteem. I have lost confidince in doing things because I'm afraid ill screw up at it. I also cause the teacher to flip out on me and everyone over reacts when I screwed up like the world just ended. Why are people so picky about how something is done or how to do it in the right order?



animalcrackers
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16 Aug 2011, 2:34 pm

:( People can be extremely insensitive.....

Your post reminds me of many, many things people have said to me (sometimes they thought whatever I did/screwed up was funny, sometimes they were frustrated/angry). Some examples:

"I can't believe you missed that!"

"What were you thinking!? Why would you do that instead of....??"

"Don't you ever learn?"

"What is so hard about this?! It's simple/obvious...!"

I've never understood why people are so particular about how things get done, either. (what order, how you approach a task)....

I think a lot of people just expect that everyone is like them--that everyone should know certain things, and be able to do certain things....and for some reason a lot of people are cruel about these things. Try to ignore them--it's okay to do things differently, and everybody makes mistakes!



MakaylaTheAspie
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16 Aug 2011, 2:57 pm

It's not so much that I screw up, they expect me to do something, and I do it a different way. It's usually a day later when they realize how insensitive they were.

Then they take a second look at my handiwork and see how much better it is. :roll:


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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16 Aug 2011, 2:59 pm

How people react depends on what mistake I've made.


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Thebigrage
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16 Aug 2011, 3:03 pm

I know exactily how you feel I just graduated from High School 3 months ago in the Culinary Field and whenever I screwed up people yelled at me. Of course I have been bullied and taunted and such because sometimes I mess stuff up. I can also be gulible some times. I got so tired of getting yelled at I yelled back, didn't help matters much and made me feel worse. Don't let it get to you though they just don't understand what your going through. I tried to explain to my friends why I screwed stuff up sometimes even the simple things, they said oh it is just all in your head and such, frankly unless they go through the same thing you are they won't get it. Just tell them you are only human and u make mistakes it happens deal with it. Just keep truckin you should be graduating soon.



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16 Aug 2011, 11:08 pm

I tend to OCD and perfectionism. So I am usually harder on myself than other people are.



ShadowtheDarkRanger
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17 Aug 2011, 12:15 am

Yep, people flip out all the time around me.



musicman2059
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17 Aug 2011, 12:21 am

Most people I know are understanding, that maybe some extra time is needed and that I'll get it right with due diligence. If I feel like a screwup I made could lead to an uncomfortable situation I try to make it right and/or apologize for it otherwise.



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17 Aug 2011, 12:44 am

Surely this must be some sort of joke.

The SammichEater does not screw up. Why people would ever consider such things is beyond me.


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MagicMeerkat
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17 Aug 2011, 12:59 am

Yes. All the time. My parents are the worst about it. They react as if I murdered someone over something simple such as forgetting to put something in a certian place.


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Aprilviolets
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17 Aug 2011, 2:03 am

I was working at a shelted workshop for a week and this horrible woman was nasty to me because I was packing some plastic ties wrong. I wish I had thrown them at her and said "Do it yourself then" :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
I would never go there again after that. :evil: :evil: :evil:



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17 Aug 2011, 6:01 am

People do that to me all the time and than they wonder why I have a meltdown when they do that to me. I knew one such bimbo who did that to me and thank God she's out of my life now.


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SilentScream
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17 Aug 2011, 6:19 am

The fact that they're yelling out in class repeatedly means that they're bullying you, and the teachers are not stopping it. It's now the accepted group behaviour of this pack to ridicule you.

One way to stop is is to do the unexpected, and make it hurt them.
So when someone does the facepalm thing, and yells at you, they're making a scene, drawing attention to you.

You can do things like reply clearly, loudly and in a sympathetic tone "Dude, you've REALLY got to get a life, if THIS (gesture to the maths error on the board) upsets you SO much", and do an fake sympathy head shake, whilst maybe smiling and catching the eye of the most simpatica and high up on the social scale person in the room, inviting them to laugh or smile.

You're making fun of THEM for causing such a fuss over a silly thing.



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17 Aug 2011, 12:29 pm

I am a really big guy who is known to have violent meltdowns people who know me do not scream at me they will laugh at my screw up but they would never scream at me. I was such a perfectionist at my last job when I screwed up my co-workers would write it down on the calander because it was a rare occurance and they knew I would deny it ever happened. We had calander dating back 8 years that said Todesking mis-measured three feet of metal stock or Todesking fell off his chair while stretching they put it on the date and wrote down the time. They only did this because I would deny everything or forget. I also started the trend by writing down the date when someone screwed up when one of our fellow employees kept flooding the shop with coolant. :lol:


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17 Aug 2011, 1:13 pm

From how to describe what happens to you at school, it's not okay. It is an expression of huge disrespect to call attention to your mistakes loudly, informing others about it who have nothing to do with it.

If the teacher(s) also reacts exaggerated about something you got wrong, it does have an effect on your classmates. They see an adult overreacting at you in front of them as if an unspoken social rule tells: it's okay treat this young man with disrespect. It's not so unsurprising they feel free to try being disrespectful to you too. Awful stuff if they get away with it as they seem to way too often.

I really like SilentScream's idea, because that's something for you to do. They can talk loudly/shout across the room? You can do it too.

Show them that you don't get worked up stupid mistakes. They disrespect you so openly, because think they can get away with it and that you won't make fun of them in return. Observe what happens if you do make fun of them in return, I bet that if you'll listen closely, you'll hear some awed whispers about how funny what you said was and how stupid it made that student look that tried to make you look stupid first. Maybe someone will actually later compliment you about how smart and fun you handled that.

If it ever gets worse than that or you just don't feel like putting up with it anymore but don't know what to do: 17 and "almost an adult" or not, you should then really talk about this with a counsellor or a teacher you trust and inform your parents.

Even if an autistic person weren't too badly troubled by such rudeness and bullying, it must be stopped. Being disrespectful to someone is not okay because other classmates, teachers and other students of your school that have nothing to do with it can still see it. They might get the idea that they too can treat you like that, because nobody will step in to stop it.


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Ellytoad
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17 Aug 2011, 6:30 pm

Yes, my stepfather, to the point where he won't let me fix my own mistakes. It can be something as simple as spilling a tiny drop of liquid. I'll then get an earful of how immature I am and how I can't do anything right, as I stand there and watch helplessly as he angrily cleans up after me.

I now dread being alone in the same room with him thanks to this. -_-