What/Which am I? (very lengthy list)

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I know most likely nobody is going to read this, but I can't afford to see a professional about it, much less a good specialist. So I figured I'll put it here for now, and maybe someone here would be kind enough to read it and have some knowledge or similar experiences that might help me and/or that person. I've listed all of my relevant traits that I could think of. I was diagnosed with Asperger's, though there's no such a thing as an official diagnoses where I come from, unless you need certain services and I was already 19 by then. I was the one who brought Asperger's up to my first psychiatrist and he did agree with it. But I don't match a lot of the stereotypical characteristics of Asperger's. On some points I seem to be an exact opposite, much better or much worse. So I have been wondering, is it Asperger's? some other ASD? PDD-NOS? something else entirely? Or just a normal variant?
I would really really appreciate it if someone did read through it and let me know what they think.



1. Didn’t usually respond to name as a baby
2. Walked and talked on time and so on
3. Came off as oblivious to most of what happened around me, absorbed and pre-occupied with self or something else
4. Hadn’t formed proper bonds with primary care-givers till much later in life
5. Oblivious to danger and would wander off, go somewhere without telling my anyone. Still prone to do this
6. Would only talk when I wanted something or to ask/answer a question till school age
7. Wouldn’t say hi/bye
8. Played pretend plays but usually only by myself and playing “God/storyteller” to the people of the world I’d created. Knew how to play with toys but invented my own games with them
9. Not good at playing with other kids, since I’d only do the same thing over and over again and bore them, or was either too controlling of how the game should be or too passive
10. Couldn’t handle more than one friend at a time and didn’t want to share that friend (insecurity from trauma of friends losing interest in me maybe?)
11. Would say/do inappropriate things at an age I was expected to know better
12. No concept of authority and boundaries when younger, quite oppositional when pressed to do something I didn’t find “logical”
13. Didn’t like group games/sports because of slow reaction time and trouble keeping up, though loved running and jumping. Was not rejected in group games by peers.
14. Save for spelling, great at all subjects in school, especially with a good teacher
15. Love reading, specially fiction; but not hyperlexic
16. Watched “everything” on TV
17. Most of the time would not speak out if something happened to me or if I was ill
18. Almost never knew what was expected of me to say
19. Couldn’t understand most of the lyrics of songs because of the music. Still have trouble with this
20. Photophobic. Cannot stand blinking lights, fluorescent lights make me fill drained

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21. Little sensitivity to touch; Love physical contact with close family, though did not initiate with others ( ADD but social sister cannot stand physical contact). Hate tags and certain materials in clothing. Love tight hugs and heavy winter clothing/blankets because of calming effect. Same thing with water if there’s no fear of drowning.
22. Scared by sudden loud noises and get headaches if there is constant noise( including music) for more than 15-20 minutes, but otherwise no sensitivity to noise ( again sister hypersensitive to noise)
23. Oversensitive to scents and smells, get headaches
24. Used to not expressing those above, or show much outward reaction till late teens. Just sort of suffered through it, though they obviously may not have been as severe as people low on the spectrum
25. Usually considered an idiot and smart at the same time. Have been flat out told so
26. Bad short and long term memory. Great recognition but very poor recall even of special interests
27. Can only learn on my own from text+visual aids. They don’t change
28. psychosomatic stomachache in Parties/family gatherings etc when young so would have to go rest in an empty quite room, developed social anxiety and avoidance in middle school
29. Considered Odd but likeable, though no close friends since and before elementary school
30. Never talked about fashion and boys and such in teens; never really dated
31. Cannot keep friends outside of class/school framework since don’t know how/what to do
32. Executive dysfunction. Cannot Organize/summarize/prioritize/switch attention/start/finish… without great effort, but not much impulsive.
33. Processing delay
34. Miss most of the details in the environment since otherwise would not be able to create coherent models out of them. Tune out most of sensory input to be able to function (almost opposite of most autistics I think). Mono-focus brain
35. Easily overwhelmed and startled, fear response to almost everything, Intensive World Syndrome as far as I’m concerned
36. Odd and awkward posture. I think my facial expressions and body language are normal if not always appropriate.
37. Great at reading facial expressions on film, less so in real life as I don’t look or pay much attention
38. High-pitched childlike voice. I talk low and mumble but not monotone. Very fast if giving a presentation
39. Very sensitive to people’s tone of voice and emotional vibes
40. Considered insensitive, self-absorbed and un-empathic as a child but never mean, much better empathy and sympathy as an adult


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41. Can hold a conversation around a subject, if a bit awkward and odd with many pauses or ramblings. Considered well-spoken when talking on subject of interest that is usually rehearsed
42. Good communication skills on the surface, though can’t keep it up for long
43. Reduced to 1-2 word answers and odd/inappropriate comments or just smile when tired/overwhelmed/unprepared for interaction. Happens often
44. Do not share special interest much since not good at recalling/retelling things and can tell people lose interest fast.
45. Very poor sense of direction and left/right. Getting lost all the time as a child.
46. Bad co-ordination. Tendency to stumble/fall/crash into things and would drop things if distracted.
47. My mind gets obsessed with a subject and I cannot stop thinking/talking about it, and I have to force myself to stop talking about it at least, or stop thinking about it to get anything done in my life. It’s often TV shows and books and I watch/read/analyze/read about over and over again. Or less often Listen to a piece of music over and over again. Other times it’s some other subject like psychology/criminology/animals/plants/history/science and technical stuff that I read about for hours and days, but I don’t retain much of it because of my bad memory. Which is opposite of those on the spectrum usually.
48. I have routines for my days and weeks and how to do certain things, that I always do in that order. It does bother me if I can’t follow them, but not too much. But sudden change of plans does bother me greatly. So do unexpected social calls( which could be as simple as saying hi to a person you know who passes you on the street)
49. Don’t stim much when in public as I don’t want people to see it or do acceptable things like swing my legs. But I do a bit of rocking/spinning around/flapping my hands and so on at home, especially if stressed or excited or just because it makes me feel good. Love swings
50. Definitely have a sense of humor. Not more literal-minded than the average person. I actually do the opposite and don’t break sentences and expressions into the words. I just take them as is to mean something.
51. I think in concepts, so a whole lot of translating has to be done for input and output.

AS, or BAP I think, although you really seem to be on the spectrum. If you really want to know then go find out.

Me, I got diagnosed for like 300 nts. Thats like 10 usd. Weird thing is that there were no tests on paper, just an evaluation of history and traits. Then the psychiatrist said I have AS. To this day I am still not sure if it is because my as is too obvious, or that it wasn't official at all. Anyway I don't really care and I'm okay with my AS.

And did you really type...that....out??

Thank you for your reply . Why wasn't yours official? Same reason as mine? Oh it was only slightly more expensive than that in Iran at about $20 per session (though with a discount) and much the same way there weren't any tests done, just talking to me and my family over a few sessions, though they weren't autism specialists in that clinic so that could have been why. I'm in the US now and currently have no insurance, so I will have to wait till I can get a job at least.

Well...It did take me quite a bit of time to type that I had been meaning to do that for a while.