Feeling as though people see you as a child?

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So, recently my mom set me up with a young man, just a few years older than me, which was nice of her, I guess. Anyway, all three of us went out to lunch-- I'm still not entirely sure why she insisted on coming along-- and although I quickly found that I had little interest in the guy, I did my best to be conversational.

But he and my mom did most of the talking... with each other.

Later on, the guy did a follow-up call, and my mom told me that he'd mentioned how "sheltered" I seemed. Sheltered! He might as well have said my eyes were too asymmetrical. I was dismayed at the glaze of condescention covering everything.
People should only talk over you and about you when you are a little child... not in your mid-twenties!
I spent the rest of that day with an unpleasant look on my face...

So, is anyone else surrounded by people who seem to act as the perpetual "adult" in your presence instead of treating you as an equal? My mom said that the reason the guy was more chatty with her was because he was older than me. (He's only in his early thirties.) That excuse would only make sense if I were ten years younger than I am now.

I got annoyed by any form of patronizing. Also, I wish I didn't have the mother-hen type friends and sometimes I would fantasize about being the dominate one, which makes no sense.

I'm not sure if I understand you well, but are you sure you're not overreacting it? Isn't it the tone of their voice that bothers you? Getting labels not the direct way isn't that unusual among adults. On the other hand, I don't mind patronizing that much, I just make sure I walk on my feet as much as I can, i.e. I make decisions not someone else and I take responsibility for it. I always make my point in discussions relating to my life. People notice it in the long term and patronize less.

This drives me crazy as well, especially when people treat me like rain man.

Your mother set you up on a date and then insisted on chaperoning. I would see that as 'sheltered', too.

Not a reflection on your personality, but on your situation. And your Mom. Maybe she's the one who should feel insulted.

I never thought of it that way. I did make a point of saying that I didn't sanction my mom's decision to chaperone, so maybe he understood at least a little.

i dont like when people mention what i have said. i feel humiliated when they do it. or talk about me to other people when they have no idea who i am. but i guess the other person probably takes it or leaves it.

Every goddamned day. I would have absolutely refused, however, if my mother insisted on coming along on a date.

You mean when they repeat you as if you're a little kid?

same here. I always wanted to have something to lord over people with but to no avail.

I've apparently always looked young for my age (whatever that is in the first place). I remember that when I was younger I wanted to be older because I felt no one took me seriously. However this seems to still happen to me so maybe the things I say are just often outlandish or somehow my tone of voice seems humorous. When I was younger and people would laugh at me I would go along with it so as to be 'friendly' but I got bored of that and so I'm just not as 'friendly' anymore I guess But it seems to be working..

I think going on a date with your mother is a bad idea in general. I'm sure she had the best intentions etc etc, but I just don't see how it could work. Personally, having any third party around when I'm trying to get to know someone is aggravating, I feel I have to try and appeal to both of them, and no two people are the same, and really it's stressful enough trying to do that with one person...

So yeah I'm sure she had good intent but I don't see how a date could work in that situation.

Everyone I know treats me as a child. Most of the time I don't mind, because I still feel like a child on the inside. But other times I do get frustrated when I want to try something people my age or even younger have already started doing, but I get told I'm not allowed to due to my level of functioning.

The thing that makes me really annoyed 100% of the time is when people first meet me and find out I'm on the autistic spectrum and start patronizing me like I'm mentally ret*d. I've even had someone on another forum (a forum which obviously didn't specialize in autism) do this to me. It's amazing how many people are still ignorant of the fact that autism is a spectrum, given how much information is available these days.

People patronize me too, but I do it right back at them. I often need to remind myself that not everyone is just a peon.

Most of my life I've been seen as a rebellious teenager. Now that I'm all gray, that's no longer possible, so I'm not seen at all.

f**k people that do that.

yes everytime. and it comes from my mom and i'm not exactly fond of her so when she says it i feel like she is up to no good. also my ex and this other guy. i feel like its for other reasons though but that could be it also my extreme paranoia, but its nice when someone says it someone that you think understands who you are. so it allevaites the pain because they probably know better or look at it differently.