Could my child be autistic?

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My son is 29 months old and contiues to cry when I drop him off at daycare, he stops crying before I get out the door, but at his old daycare he would cry when I would drop him off and not want to interract with the children his ag, he loved the babies. At his new daycare he cries still but stops before I leave. She says takes 20 minutes to warm up and then plays. He freezes up when someone he doesn't know talks to him, he doesn't talk to anyone who isn't immediate family, and his daycare lady. He will interact with children when I am around and he plays, sometimes he plays aggressively. He often refers to himself in the 3rd person, he will say let's play in "Jacob's room" instead of my room. When he wants me to hold him he will say "hold you" instead of "hold me" We are working on this and it is getting better but still. He is also obsessed with horses, he will notice one from a long distance and just loves to see them. He plays with them but loading them into a toy trailor and pulling them in a wagon. He plays imagintaively with them too. He has a severe attachment to me, he prefers me to do everything and throws a fit when someone takes him away from me. He loves to watch "spirit" which is a movie about horses, he will sit through most of the movie, we aren't having to watch it as much but still. My main concern is with the daycare thing, I hate seeing him cry and not wanting to go, I am also worried about how he refers to himself in 3rd person, it is constant but he does do it. He was never delayed he crawled at 8 months and walkd at 12 months, he was born 2 months premature also. His speech is fine, uses 4 or 5 word sentences and makes eye contact? I am so confused and just looking for some advice.

Possibly autistic. A little early to say. I would suggest keeping an eye on the situation but don't worry yourself sick over it. He is progressing through some milestones but seems to have some quirky mannerisms. If he is mildly autistic, it will be hard to diagnose until he gets older. What about movement? Does he rock, pace, flap his hands or any other such thing? Does he seem sensitive to noise or lights?

He isn't sensitive to noise or lights. He doesn't rock or flap his hands either. He doesn't like the vaccuum but the noise isn't what scares him. I have to get something done, because I can't let him keep crying when he goes to daycare, he also cries when I pick him up, he runs to me and cries but I can always get him to stop crying within seconds.

The problem is that a definitive diagnosis of autism at less than 36 months isn't likely unless he is OBVIOUSLY autistic. He does not sound seriously impaired, but does seem to exhibit autistic traits. If you feel something needs to be done, you need to contact a well regarded specialist in autism - one that will not just slap a label on him. One that is as willing to say no is isn't as much as yes he is. Early intervention is key, but it has to be the correct intervention.

In my (non-professional) opinion, your son has some indicators for autism or Asperger's, but as the others have suggested, it's not enough to go on yet. I admire that you are seeking information on this, because the VERY WORST THING for an autistic child, is for the parents to be in denial about autism. I see it happen, where the parents won't accept it, and will do anything and everything to hide it or to excuse off the symptoms as something else. My wife has a nephew who absolutely is autistic, and his parents won't hear of it. They have had to send him to special classes; not only to learn to talk, but also to learn gross motor skills such as jumping, running, and things that NT kids have by instinct. They force him into very tough situations with other kids, and try to force him to behave in situations where it is not reasonable to expect that. It's just a disaster, and the poor boy will suffer, and will be prevented from accepting who he is, as opposed to functioning perhaps just fine with proper surroundings and understanding.

Always remember that autism is not a condemnation to failure in life... Bill Gates, Thomas Edison, and many other successful people are or were autistic. I am no Gates or Edison, but I am what most people would consider successful: Age 44, happily married, and owning/operating an avocado ranch, and have in the past owned and operated other small businesses.

Charles

To me, he sounds like his problems may be more related to separation anxiety disorder than autism (though he could have both). It would be difficult to diagnose since he's at the age where most kids have separation anxiety, but my impression is that most kids that age cry when first separated and then calm down and play after around half an hour or so, and after the first few times with a new caregiver they tend to get a lot less upset about parents leaving.

I met a set of identical twins who had autism and severe separation anxiety, but most autistic kids don't show that much separation anxiety. Either they show normal separation anxiety, or they show less than normal but get upset about changes.

Anyway, a word of warning - do not ask an ABA program to help you with your son's separation anxiety. The program those twins were in decided to deal with it by using contact with Mom as a reinforcer the kids had to earn by doing things like pointing to the colour red or counting how many blocks or whatever. It was absolutely miserable, and I really worry about the kind of psychological damage that sort of thing could've caused.

I'd recommend instead to expose the kid to just enough separation to make him a bit upset, then immediately come back and soothe him. Gradually increase it as his tolerance grows so he learns that you won't push him into more separation than he can handle and you will always come back.

I don't have any advice that hasn't already been posted.

Your son has good taste in horse movies, though.