Protective people -- frustrating?

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I tend to forget that I'm not neurotypical; I tend to forget most of the differences between myself and other people when I'm engaged in a conversation.

It bothers me whenever someone stops the conversation to point out that I'm three years older than them or that I'm somehow different than the average person. My instinctive response is that it's not relevant to the IDEAS being discussed and that if I have different perspectives, GREAT. The more perspectives there are in a conversation, the more understanding you can obtain about whatever idea or thing you're discussing.

But there have been times where a boss would refuse to give me a stressful promotion or a teacher would cut me slack on an assignment or I would miss out on a club or job that doesn't come naturally to me. Or maybe times when my parents would advise me against doing something big. Or my friends would try to talk me out of having a crush on a girl that probably wasn't right for me.

Now, the opposite is frustrating too. It's frustrating to be discriminated against.

But I think I get just as frustrated with people being protective even when I know they're looking out for me.

Does that make sense?

Everybody should be allowed to fail sometimes.My parents were so over protective that it just furthered my nievity and made it more difficult to do simple tasks once I was on my own(maybe if they were still doing for me I wouldnt complain..but their not)They did push me to do somethings that I failed at....baton twirling(ouch)dancing class(yuck)clarinet(yawn) but the chances I would have liked to take they were to afraid......as far a as my teachers...god bless em...I would never have graduated from college if I had been a business major but because I had psyc and women studies...they allowed for my .....break downs,procrastination and over researched papers....I think I was given some credit for all the effort put into my work but they allowed for some "personl issues"...Some people may discourage you to do something and you have little control over it(like a boss who doesnt want company to lose money by taking a chance but in the case of some girl who"may" be out of your legue...your NT friends may pick up non-verbals that you are not getting but if you want it bad enough...ignore them and take a chance...I have been suprised in more then one relationship that someone others thought was "stuck-up" was shy and glad to have my attention.

My father is extremely overprotective, both to me and to my NT younger brother. It's very frustrating.

Frustration is anger turned inwards. Try exporting some of that anger and tell those frustrating people -- diplomatically, of course -- to butt out.

Been there, done that.

geezer

I need to be protected because I'm vulnerable and not "street wise." I would happily go out, but my mum is right. I'm not "street wise" and am vulnerable to the outside world.

I worry that I am over-protective and a bit of a control freak sometimes.

I get scared and worried a lot, so I see the danger in things rather than the possible benefits. I really care about the people I love, so I try to shield them from the things I perceive as dangers. But this can mean that I smother them completely.

At the same time I have lots of little habits and routines which I cannot stand being changed, so I tend to force other people into adopting my habits. I'm also quite fussy and moralistic about the way people behave - I can't stand people who throw litter in the street, for example - so I'm quite demanding in that respect also.

What makes it worse is that I have all of these ideas and rules floating around in my head but I'm hopeless at explaining them to people.

In short, I worry that I might be a major pain in the ass and that's why all of my relationships have failed.

You are a major pain in the you know what but thats who you are never try to change yourself to please others it just makes your life feel fake and ultimately ends in disaster.

Dont give up Im a demanding whiney pain myself most of the time but I still found someone who loves me anyways

My husband is overprotective of me, which I know is just because he loves me, but it does get annoying sometimes. He doesn't outright forbid me to do anything, but he politely requests that I not do things and tells me that he doesn't feel safe with me doing them alone.

He won't let me go certain places in the city by myself because he thinks it isn't safe. He doesn't want me going to Washington D.C. by myself, but I do anyway because I know I'm only going to the "safe" touristy areas and not the ghetto. We live on the very edge of the city, and it's not the most super-safe suburban neighborhood, but again, it's not the ghetto. He doesn't want me to walk around the block or go out riding my bike alone either.