Why do people dislike Aspies?

Post Reply New Topic

First of all I have to make it clear that this thread is not meant to insult Aspies, but to help us better understand what about us bothers people so that we can change those things if we wish to. If you feel otherwise, well, you can easily navigate away from this page.

Anyway, my psychologist wants us to work on some of my specific issues that seem to bother people. She thinks it would be good to list some of the things that i know people find annoying about me, so that way we can work oneach thing individually, and maybe help me be more liked at school. It's not like i want to be popular, i just don't want people to think of me as that annoying smarty -pants, you know?

Anyway, i suck at listing, as i know a lot of us do, so i though maybe if we all named a few that we know are trouble areas of ours, we could together a nice list. Maybe seeing other peoples issues will prompt discovery of some of our own.

Speak for yourself only.

Don't you think your psychologist would find it more appropriate if you ask people who know you what annoys them about you?

Last edited by cyberdad on 09 Aug 2011, 8:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well what exactly is your psychologists goal, if her goal is for you to take all the responsibility and change everything that might bother people I might question his/her intentions. But if there are things you would like to change for yourself that would make things easier and she/he is just trying to help that is good.

I don't really have a list but I would imagine you could maybe write down things you notice and go over them with the psychologist and see what things you can improve and which things you maybe cannot.

Because the society we live in values social skills more than anything else. Aspies are, almost by definition, socially inept. Is it any wonder we're treated as second-class citizens?

Here's a few of mine:

-correcting grammar
-getting upset when people cheat/are unfair
-getting upset when people won't accept that they're wrong


Can't think of anything else right now, but it's late, Im distracted, and I suck at listing things anyway.

I just think that maybe reading other peoples main issues might help me or other people,realize that they have the same or similar issues. This, for me, is really about figuring myself out. In my philosophy class we talked about how we think we know ourselves, and other people just see a different side of you, not the "real" you, but you also only see one side of yourself! So i guess i really want to see myself for who i really am, which means all sides of me, and then maybe i could attempt to change some things.

I don't do any of the things listed anymore, and yet I still annoy people. Apparently being too quiet and naive can be annoying.

Why don't they like us?

Any or all of these reasons:

1. We're "different" (ie, "Weird", "Strange", "Spazzy", et cetera).
2. We don't laugh at their jokes.
3. We laugh when they're being not funny.
4. Our body language is usually "frozen".
5. Subtlety is lost on us.
6. We can do a few things exceptionally well, at the expense of limited social skills.
7. We either stare excessively or make no eye contact at all.
8. We speak in a monotone drone.

... and many, many more.

What? I'm awesome. Not my problem if some people don't like me. I'm not changing for anyone. And honestly, you shouldn't either.

It's gonna be a long bumpy road and the majority of people are NOT going to like you. Even if I'm quiet, but extremely kind and giving people hated me. It's a lose/lose situation.

That may be your opinion, but i would at least like it if people didn't find me so annoying and all. My motives are not very relevant, i was just asking for yourexperiences.

People dislike us because our brains are wired differently!

Believing in yourself is fine. The real measure of this is when others' perceptions of you become an impediment to something that you want. There are times when it is necessary for others to view you positively. Whether you consider this "liking" you or not is immaterial. But my experience has been that people the perceive me in a generally negative vein dislike me, that this dislike is proportional to the degree of negative perception, and that positive perceptions lend themselves towards liking, even to the point of friendship.

To be honest, it's a mystery to me. I have see plenty of people who I thought had no social skills be popular and well liked by others while ones who I thought were nice and had awesome social skills get bullied beyond belief.

Personally, most people like me. I think its because I can do a little of anything. I'm generally nice, patient, and generous, but I can and will stand up for myself when needed. I'm respected because I not only take alot of crap with a good attitude;I can dish it out too. Honestly, someone not liking me is more of a reflection of themselves than of me. btw, I turned 20 today; Happy Birthday to me!

I feel the same way. It's usually women who around around my age that have a problem with me. For the most part, I'm quite certain that most people like me. But men have always been my closer friends, even in Pre-K.

I've also noticed that people who usually don't like me, do so because of the way I look. Being aloof and disconnected comes off as arrogant, so people automatically assume that you're snobby and therefore, not worth knowing. People who get to know me usually say I'm extremely nice, and how surprise they are since when they first saw me, they thought I was a b***h! It doesn't help if you're quiet too. I think NTs suspect that we're quiet because we think we're better than them. When that fact is, we're quiet because we're either distracted or have nothing to say.